Should have followed my gut

I should have followed my gut with my boyfriend. When we first met, he was one person but lately he’s been really acting like a creep. Saying a lot of mean things to me like he doesn’t want to be intimate with me when the problem is him and his E.D. Issue. That isn’t MY fault! Says he doesn’t want to kiss me, etc. he is just so full of himself and he changed into this other person. He is not this compassionate, kind person I thought he was..it was all BS. He is even telling me it is him. Told me he doesn’t feel the same as he did when we first met so maybe he was wearing goggles. Come to find out that instead of him communicating with me he sought advice from a “friend” I’m sure his friend would rather he be single so they can party without a girlfriend in the way. Well, he can have him then. I told him we would be in touch in a few days, but I’m not expecting much. He’s showing his true character now and how he really treats women. I guess it’s easier to hurt me than to try to find a solution. Such a coward.

I’m sorry you are hurting from this rejection.

It’s possible your bf honestly felt like he wanted to be with you and get closer in the beginning, then for whatever reason, had a change of heart. He’s telling you the truth about how he feels.

It’s clear, you wish he would feel differently, and still want you. I know that really hurts.

It will be less painful for you to just listen to him and accept the way it is. It will help you to leave him alone and emotionally move on.

Breakups really are painful. Hugs to you.

I have given you the answer in your other thread. The alcohol often takes away one's ability to have normal sex too. The relationship with alcohol is what creates this dual personality you are experiencing too. That relationship takes priority in more ways than the addict realizes and YOU will only be the outsider in his relationship with the alcohol that has become his priority.

I just want to add that you need to find out why YOU have been drawn into this kind of toxic relationship. It's important to actually LEARN about this kind of relationship and WHY being involved with someone that engages themselves the way they do is something you need to pay attention to so you don't repeat getting involved with someone else that is unhealthy for you. Is there alcoholism in your own family? Did you father have a problem and your mother became an enabler and codependent?

Also, what about you, what do you do in your own life? Do you also drink and set yourself up for this kind of unhealthy relationship where you become an enabler and codependent? You don't have to answer this question here either, the one who needs to know this answer isn't me but YOU.

My father was an alcoholic. I don’t need alcohol to have a good time. He uses it to forget about his problems but guess what in the morning, the problem is still there...

I don’t drink but when I was with him..he used every excuse too but his drinking. When I met him we had things in common, chemistry, etc. But then he’s trying to say we have nothing in common. We did, but there’s a bigger issue and really he’s making excuses

This is what alcoholics do Gymgirl, they have all kinds of reasons for it being ok to drink and can even get angry in defense of their right to make these excuses.

I watched my father do it AND my husband do it. They both denied they had a problem too. Any time someone tried to point it out they made it a point to blame that person as being the problem. Also, your boy friend's friends are more his drinking buddies as that's ususally what alcoholics end up having as friends.

At this point be thankful you are not married to this guy. It's important to see the REALITY of what he is and how that is affecting you. It's time for you to walk away, you are right in that you deserve better, a person who is capable of having a relationship and is not all about their relationship with alcohol.

I want to add to what I said above... Someone else WILL love you and treat you right.

Oops. Wrong thread, but the sentiment is the same.