[Fantastic_Frank]

I was married for 14 years and I went through Verbal,Phycial ,Sexual,and mental abuse for the lat 6 years of my marriage and now Im having a hard time just asking someone out I have medical proplems:Oseosrthritis, Bi Polar disorder, PTSD from the marriage andmy Case manager has been working with me she asked me the last time she was over here was anyone I could ask out to go to a movie she knows how lonley I have been and how hard ai have worked to slove some of the problems I had I was a homeless veteran and I lived in several places with other veterans before I got my apartment on a Veterans houising grant which is for 5 years and is renewable after that. Soon after I moved in a friend of mine Melissa moved in we are Best friends and she is dating now she just started seeing someone she was seeing before but broke it off with him. I dont have anyonein my life but my case manager Karen and Melissa my Best Friend. What I want to do is meet someone just to date when I see thenm together it just reinforces the fact that I am alone I quess when she wasnt dating we hung out a lot and had fun I didnt really think about not having a girl friend sahe met him online on MYSpace I tried to meet womenthere but I didnt have much luck one I met in Penacols, fl she didnt like and caught her in several lies on the phone Melissa is very protective of me because of the brain tumor surgery my judement is not so good in these areas and thats another reason that maybe I have fer of asking someone out for a date the only women I can ask are the ones ion recovery iun AA ansd I had been going to NA before this and hadnt meet anyone there yet so I thought AA has a club housre and they have things going on all the time so maybe I could meet someone thier Itb seemsa lot easier for her to get a date tyhan it is for me I dont know what to do. I have to change the way my life is going I sit here far to long online during the day because thats all i can do when I take my Pain medication Methadone In cvan drive but when I take the POerocet i cant go anywhere Ikm stuck here so I will just have to be in pain to go to more meetings and hopefully I will met someone there I havent givin up and I jhave driven to the meetings I satin pain and I wanted to go home I didnt want to go ewat with a bunch of people I wanted to ask someone to go with me only and hang out get to know each other Melissa says im a great guy and I have been very good to her as a best friend but I need to grow and get past this my Nero doctor asked me the same question if i had anyone I could ask out and I had to tell the truth that I didnt have anyone to ask being alone only makes the pain and the depression worse its s trap that I need help with and Im hoping someoneout there who ahs beenthrough this can help me Im so tireed of typing in blogs and formsand not getting anywhere so here it is?

[sabby]

Fantastic_Frank

Welcome to PC. It sounds to me like you feel you are in a catch 22 situation at times no?

I have some ideas for you that may or may not work in your lifestyle. Are you affiliated with any churches in your area? If so, maybe going to church and becoming involved would help you to network and meet new folks.

Another idea is to volunteer your time to a worthy cause. There are tons of agencies out there that need volunteers and are happy to get whatever time and effort you can give them. It's another wonderful way to network and meet new folks....sometimes folks with some of the same issues you have who you can connect with

I wish you well and hope you find some new friends and good times in your future. Keep posting as it helps to release that which is bugging you and lots of folks here are good at brainstorming too

Wishing you all the best!

sabby

[Perna]

Hey, Frank, does Melissa know any other girls? Maybe she can have a little party and invite a couple other girls or has a single friend and you and she and her boyfriend could go to the movies together.

I would take a class at local community college or rec center and see if there were any women there. Sign up for a cooking class or a class where there would be more women.

[sabby]

More great ideas from Perna! YAY!

[Fantastic_Frank]

My Doctor and My case manager have said that volenteering at the VA and most of the places I called involves work which requires lifting or just doing jobs that reqire physical effort and with the oseoarthritis in my Hip it would create more pain and problems, I also checked into several church singles groups and they do meet in Bars so thats out for me I dont really participate in organized religon but I do belive in God I take more of a spritual approuch to faith than churches Thanks for the suggustions I did try attending chuch last year for about 6 mos last year but I lost interst people where nice there but I didnt meet anyone there.

[Fantastic_Frank]

Melissa doesnt really have any girlfriends she always mostly hung out with guys. She and I are just roomates we never dated she has one friend who is in a wheelchair and I have talked to her but I am not really intersted and I would feel like I had to see her if I took her out Melissa said that she is very co dependent and that I dont want to even get involved with her, I have been asking her if she knows any other women in recovery but she said that she would not like for me to date them because she knows what they are really like she is really protective of me sometimes and thats ok because my judgement is not always that good sometimes after I had the brain tumor surgery I do have some problems from the surgey and sometimes I will me women tell me without thinking it over thats why I always ask her if she knows them or if so what she thinks. I have been trying to ask her to recommend someone she has kind of bneen cauget up withn this new guy Serigo, My Myspace site is Franks MY Space Page So I quess I will kind of have to wait until her work schedule calms down and she is able to drive me to some meetings at nightb where there are more people at so I can maybe talk to some of them I take pain medication and I cant drive when I take it. If I go to a noon meeting like I did today I was in so much pain after the VA group for 1 1/2 hours then a 1 hour meeting that I had to leave early and go stright home and take a nap.