ABUSED

ABUSED
Being used and abused made my soul dark
to the point of infinite pain;
I lost all my mind and all of my soul
it’s a wonder I’m still fully sane.

I’ve been down to the depths of a bottomless pit
- the pain was unbearable then;
as I look back on my previous life
I am shocked and surprised as to when

I suffered a massive mental breakdown
which I would not wish on another;
but I have pulled through and am now quite sane
because we did all this together.

Excruciating pain is a terrible thing
it caused me to scream and to cry,
but now I’m on the mend with a very close friend
my eyes are now fully dry.

I’m still locked away in my room all day
- all night if the truth be told,
for I am scared to go out in the street
I am not yet that forward or bold.

Adult abuse is a wicked crime
as is child abuse in my books,
but there are people out there who pray to their gods
yet in private they are nothing but crooks.

Abuse is abuse, it has to be said,
abuse is a crime still today:
in spite of the fact that people forget
and go to their churches to pray.

I’m so angry at what to me was then done,
was depressed and I wanted to die;
suicide then seemed an option quite clear,
but now I will settle to cry.

Why I allowed the abuse so to be
is a mystery beyond my mind;
I should have had it stopped right there and then
yet I think that you will somehow find

that good folk are scared when they are abused
- scared of what might happen right now;
if they should ever tell and have it be known
that they are involved in a row.

My pain was intense as I was abused
I laid on my bed just to cry;
Now I’m recovering, I do want to know
an answer to the question “Why?”

My heart does go out to all who’re like me,
they suffered in silence, too;
no more will I suffer, for I’m on the mend
- like me, there are simply too few.

If you’ve been like me, abused in the dark
I urge you to stand real tall:
let’s stand together against the abuse
and never again let us stall.

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

Just One Wish
Lost, Alone, confused
dazed in the dark
unsure of what is next to come
nor whom I am
I wish I had a wish, just one wish
It would have to be a complete and thorough thought
yet true to myself and true to my family
a certain moment
a certain time zone
the air is thick all around
you can cut it with a knife
words are all muffled
my heart is pounding
can one wish, just one wish
take back all that is, all that was
and somehow, someway
bring in some laughter
bring in some sunshine
warming of hearts, entangled in love
but wishing for that one wish
my wishes would be all used up
So here I am back where i started
just wishing for that one wish
just one wish or 2 be as it may

2 poems from me to you

What Fears Me the Most

My dear,
If you feel that this is darkness
Maybe you aught to climb within my tortured soul
Feel the wombs that has been left behind
Scars so deep you would not find your way back
Can you remember way back when?
The times that ailed your soul
If you feel that your heart has
Sorrowed so much pain, loss and greivance
Maybe you aught to climb the mountains
That has scarred my complete and utter being
For me was to love you whole heartedly
For what I have received in return
Was much worse, and undeserving
From A to Z
Beginning to end
So if your wondering what true darkness is
Uncover my secrets and you will find
What my undying love has cost me
and what fears me the most
For what little is left may not be enough
I can search the world through and through
but my answer is always the same

Re COWGIRLS DON'T CRY
why thank you so much, I'm reading your 2 poems over and over again, and will continue to do so. Please, have you any more, short or long, please let us have them , I know it's an easy phrase but you do genuinely get it all on paper so very well. Looks like you've been through the mill with suffering but I love the phrase "...bring in some laughter, bring in some sunshine ..."

What's the weather like in Alberta Canada. Hope you are resolving your issues, I'll copy your 2 contributions and read them slowly over again in my bedroom as I wallow in my depression, but you've made me realise, that some other folk do suffer as much if not more. Puts my situation in perspective, you know?

Thank you again: I came to this site precisely for that kind of help and comradeship and above all, re-assurance, and you have been just that. I send you a special hug and kindness from my heart. Good luck with your issues. (John4).

RE: RHAPSODY
Thank you for your encouragement. Glad you were abe to get something from the poem, Wishing you well.

Here is something that might put a smile on your face.. I am not sure where it came from but my friends are loving it.. and it was entered into a contest

Something seems a lil Fishy Around Here
To my friends and family with love

If you think that I might seem
A little wishy
A little washy
Let me tell you about a little fishy
That is a little saucy
Who tends to be a little bossie
So when you least expect it
Like a banana split
With a splish and a splash
A sudden dash
He will with sudden circling motion
Spin to the top of the ocean
Out of the water and through the air
Look you right square
into your eyes
Ask for some apple pie
Puckers up his lips and spits
A mouthful of grits
Then with a loud chuckle
and a ruckle
He swooshes back into the ocean
and does this with quite devotion

Copyright ©2008 Cowgirls Don't Cry

PS
Well the weather is rainy.. Still haven't finished unpacking yet .. It is all left to me.. I just found out not long ago that I have Osteo Arthritis and some days I can't walk.. So the stuff is sitting out there getting wet and moldy.. Nice huh? I have 4 others that could help but left to myself to do it..
I realized that I am stuck here a little bit longer do to my 2nd youngest bday is right away and there is a few dental appointments
that is important.. With any luck he makes it liveable.. I have had about all that I can take..

Thank you so much for your compliment.. It means alot to me.. I don't get much of that..

Him/Her

As I sit and reminisce
my past to my presence
As a child
oh how many times I cried myself to sleep
and still I cry myself to sleep
The fear as a child
deep within my soul has been filed
The fear as an adult
not much has changed
only the sexes

The smell of Alcohol
The sound of the screams
God I wish they were only a dream
So many relationships and I had to fall for one
Who happens to be just like her
When I see him I see her
When I see her I see him
it is not within my soul
to be that savage lady I grew up with
So I had to settle for this savage man
It is a shame
all that I knew I never wanted in my life
I wanted change
I wanted a little bit of peace
happiness for my children
Instead
I Stuck them with that man
that was just like her

Re: cowgirls don't cry
keep writing . . .you inspire me ...please keep writiing and posting...

Hey John sorry I cannot get on here much.. I have to be really carfull my other half don't catch me.. If you really like my poetry I have a few copy writed poems including these ones at a site called
www.poetry.com
There is a place to put in first and last name which is
Kimberly McQuinn
You can even vote on these poems.. wink wink..lol
I will start posting again on Monday
Till then...
Oh ps.. It really made my day to actually see that I can inspire someone.. It means a whole lot to me... Thank you with all my heart