Guess I never learn!

he always knows what to say to suck me back in! I guess I never learn my lesson..well there is always the straw that broke the camels back. Anyways, 3 weeks ago he has me sign up for this event with him..I confirmed up until a few minutes before the event..then he texts me right at the last minute that something just came up..I am upset because I believed him..I knew he couldn’t be trusted. And is unreliable..but he thinks he can cancel and whatever I’ll forgive him..I get things come up but I think I have a right to be upset..he will rationalize his behavior it’s so easy for him! Make an excuse, I’ll believe him, etc..and he wonders why people don’t respect him. I am only upset at myself for believing him..I text him after we hung up and he ignored it. I didn’t over react, I just expressed that bailing at the last minute isn’t cool, etc, smh 🤦*♀️ I don’t know how many more signs I need that he’s not a good person, he’s a user and a player

Time to let this selfish person go and don't change you mind. He doesn't respect you, you deserve better.

You don’t need any more.

Hope this was the last sign you needed

They always know what to say...they are master manipulators.

Don't beat yourself up. Let go of this guy. Kick him to the curb.

He is not a good person. He is a user and a player.

Decide what your standards are for friendship. Are they low or high standards? What behaviors are you willing to put up with from people? What behaviors cross your line and are cause to be cut loose from your circle of friends?

This guy is a chronic plan-canceler. He's what I call, an option-izer. These people have a vast social network and will cast a wide net of plans with multiple people and then decide at the last minute, which friend they feel like hanging out with. The friends who get canceled on, or no-showed on? Well, the option-izer could care less about their feelings.

This guy is not worth your time. Stop letting him talk his way back into your life.

You deserve better treatment and this guy is not capable of that. He's proven that to you time and time again. But you have to call "when" and put your foot down or he'll keep manipulating you because he know's that he can. He doesn't respect you or he wouldn't treat you with such disdain.

@StreetcarBlanche

You are so right about the “optionizer.” I think it’s becoming quite common actually. I see people all the time making multiple plans and deciding at the last minute which ones they are actually going to do. It’s very rude.

I hope you dump this person. He’s not a friend. I know what you’re going through. I have found that when you ignore and try to get away from people like this they will turn it back on you and play the victim. Be prepared for that. It’s part of the manipulation.

@Traveljunkie it sounds like you know what you need to do already.

Yep. I CANT STAND option-izers! It's totally common and it's socially acceptable to make multiple plans for the weekend, then either no-show or cancel last minute on people which you are correct -- is SO RUDE.

The problem with these types of people is that they literally do not care about other people's feelings. If you point out how rude their behavior is to them, they deflect it back on to you, as though you're the one with the problem. I don't like to be friends with optionizers.

Unfortunately, they're rampant these days and they use social media and their cellphones to perpetuate their rude behavior.

Time to dump him for good, @Traveljunkie! I'm so sorry you've had to put up with such AWFUL behavior I agree with what ALL the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could. Now is your chance to RUN AWAY! You deserve much, much better. Dump him and live your own life as you should. I hope you'll be able to find some who TRULY Loves you for who you TRULY are! Focus on yourself for now. That's my advice. RUN! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Traveljunkie, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you and Accept you for WHO you TRULY are! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING! You deserve better, my dear, sweet friend! Please NEVER give up hope! Please hang in there as much as you possibly can! YOU ROCK!

Thanks everyone...I cannot deal with someone like him. I know his game. He played the victim with his last relationship, so he didn’t have to make a lot of effort in hopes I would buy his load of crap! He uses women..until they want to get more serious, then he moves on to the next victim...kind of like a narcissist. He gives the same lines, excuses, bs to every woman in hopes that she will fall for his lies and load of crap! He actually said he has a lot to offer someone...like what? A headache? 🤕

Good riddance to that guy! Don't let him weasel his way back into your life. He will likely try to use social media or text you, or will try to get a mutual friend you both know, to defend him to try to make you feel guilty and look bad. Don't fall for any of those tactics. He needs you as his "supply" of emotional whatever-you-gave him. Time to cut off his supply for good.

oh yeah! His best friend who plays the good family man act, defended him as far as his ex being crazy...but that man is a cheater so I don’t trust his judgement at all! If his ex is indeed crazy, that’s what he attracts. He is not mentally healthy himself

Gross. A "family man" who is a known cheater, is this guy's best defense? Contempt of Court, your honor! Of course his ex is "crazy." She had the brains to see through him, so she can't be trusted! (Haha!)

Pretend those people have the Bubonic Plague if you have to, to keep your distance.