[shakespeare47]

Lately she will just get bossy and give commands like, "go take a picture of that for me"... and I hate myself for usually doing what she asks. I think next time I'll just calmly say something like "nah, you can do it". I can tell she does this because she is angry about something, but when I bring it up, she refuses to discuss it- but doesn't deny being angry.

She mocks me for being face-blind.

She mocks my interest in philosophy.

She deliberately slows down a conversation and refuses to answer questions and says something like, "I'm sorry, I have slow processing." Considering all I know about her, this smacks of insincerity and pettiness.

She refuses to take me seriously when I tell her how much I detest being around her family - because of the way they treat me. And refuses to help me find a solution. I suggested driving separately, and she made an issue of it, told her family what I was doing, and keeps trying to get me to ride together- even though she told me she did agree that it was a good solution.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

She mocks me for being face-blind.

She mocks my interest in philosophy..

Do you say something when she does this?

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

She deliberately slows down a conversation and refuses to answer questions and says something like, "I'm sorry, I have slow processing." Considering all I know about her, this smacks of insincerity and pettiness.

This does sound like she isn't fully participating in the conversation.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

She refuses to take me seriously when I tell her how much I detest being around her family - because of the way they treat me. And refuses to help me find a solution. I suggested driving separately, and she made an issue of it, told her family what I was doing, and keeps trying to get me to ride together- even though she told me she did agree that it was a good solution.

Though it would be wrong to never go--it is OK to sometimes say, "I would rather not go this time." She can't force you to do anything--you will never feel good about yourself if you don't stand up for yourself.

There are things my spouse does that upsets me and things I do that upset him. It is not worth it to make an issue out of everything (we have to learn to accept each other) but when something really bothers us--that's when we have to do something about it. We have to ask? Are they treating us badly (sometimes I can read more into a situation than is really going on--everyone has bad days where they get impatient). If they aren't respecting us--we need to find situations where we take a stand. Not everything but if we stand up enough to show that they must respect us--we will feel better about ourselves.

[eskielover]

It ended up being EVERYTHING about him. That is why he is NOW my EX -H & I live 2100 miles away. They call it irreconcilable differences.

I could list them all BUT it would end up being a full book, not just a post

[shakespeare47]

Lately we've had encounters that went like this:
Me: I really felt close to you last night when ________________
My Wife: [long silence- changes the subject]

I guess eventually I'm going to have to ask her what's going on. For some reason I have a hard time engaging her in the moment.

What I should have said is something like - "What's going on with you right now? It appears you didn't have a good a time as I did. Should I be worried?"