New and Tired...

Hi, new here and looking for support. I am someone who has managed to "trap" themselves in a very crazy-making relationship. The person I am in this with has BPD, PTSD, and also has Narcissistic tendencies. They have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Thank god, I thought I was losing my mind! Come to find out they are the reason!

However, it hasn't done much good for them to get diagnosed when they are in DENIAL every other day! "On I know I did that, or said that, I'm sorry" also, the violence and physical abuse towards me, the cops being called on me, the suicidal threats and 911 ....Tired of up and down, around and around behavior from them!!! I want OUT. I'm sick of this crazy, crappy, scary, and Insane 5 year relationship...how could I have let it go on for so long?? Easy. Read up on BPD. They are great manipulators and liars.

I don't put all the blame on them, I know I am a great "care giver" and have my own issues with "saving" people. So now that I know all of this...I want my life back. Anyone reading this that is a "NON" BPD person...in other words, you don't have it..they do...and you can relate, I'm sorry for you too. I hear most people never leave them. I'm getting up in years and I don't want to waste anymore of my life trying to fix them! They don't want help, and they will never "be cured" from it. The best I could hope for is having a little bit smoother life, MAYBE after years of them going to counseling...but BPD doesn't go away.

So basically I'm here to vent and help myself get stronger. Therapy, reading about these disorders and reading your posts here. Lots of work on ME. Thanks for the support. Sometimes all we need is an ear to listen. Thanks

Well, if you don't feel like staying in a relationship then I guess it's better for both of you to move on. I don't think it's fair to generalize against all of the people who are suffering with BPD, though. They deserve to be treated with the same respect as anyone else. Still, I'm sorry for your negative experience. I hope you'll be able to work on yourself and that things will improve. Please keep working on yourself. Wishing you the BEST of Luck! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and your Girlfriend/Boyfriend, @NotForMe!

Welcome to Psych Central, NotForMe. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotForMe Hi, new here and looking for support. I am someone who has managed to "trap" themselves in a very crazy-making relationship. The person I am in this with has BPD, PTSD, and also has Narcissistic tendencies. They have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Thank god, I thought I was losing my mind! Come to find out they are the reason! However, it hasn't done much good for them to get diagnosed when they are in DENIAL every other day! "On I know I did that, or said that, I'm sorry" also, the violence and physical abuse towards me, the cops being called on me, the suicidal threats and 911 ....Tired of up and down, around and around behavior from them!!! I want OUT. I'm sick of this crazy, crappy, scary, and Insane 5 year relationship...how could I have let it go on for so long?? Easy. Read up on BPD. They are great manipulators and liars. I don't put all the blame on them, I know I am a great "care giver" and have my own issues with "saving" people. So now that I know all of this...I want my life back. Anyone reading this that is a "NON" BPD person...in other words, you don't have it..they do...and you can relate, I'm sorry for you too. I hear most people never leave them. I'm getting up in years and I don't want to waste anymore of my life trying to fix them! They don't want help, and they will never "be cured" from it. The best I could hope for is having a little bit smoother life, MAYBE after years of them going to counseling...but BPD doesn't go away. So basically I'm here to vent and help myself get stronger. Therapy, reading about these disorders and reading your posts here. Lots of work on ME. Thanks for the support. Sometimes all we need is an ear to listen. Thanks

Get out of there and start your life.!

Even tho the relationship is unhealthy you still have learned valuable lessons so move forward and watch for red flags in other potential mates.

Good luck

Maybe a temporary separation will help. Also couples therapy if your partner is willing to go. You probably do have a “ savior “ type personality with , although the best intentions, wind up NOT helping the other person because nobody will change their behavior until they’re ready. The most important thing though has already been said. You MUST keep working on yourself. I just want to add one more thing . Many times you need to find out if it’s really “ love “ , or just an “addiction.” Best of luck to you....