How can you tell if someone is projecting on you?

Long story short I was harassed by a girl I barely knew who seems to have it out for me. She went around spreading a twisted story/lie about my past,so I kindly messaged her my side of the story and blocked her as advised. After that a few hours later she messaged me a long paragraph on her alternate account. And then another half hour later she somehow found my other social media to message. She was angered and called me a ***** and said she didn't bother to read my story. How she doesn't care about me and how I don't affect her life. She said many horrible things I will not write unless someone asks me. She said that I was manipulative of others to get what I want,that I lie a lot (we never talked ever,I'm not kidding,) that I'm controlling or something. (Sidenote: she also got mad at my friend/her coworker for telling me what she was saying about me and got mad he "snitched" on her.)

I have about 30 ish friends that I've met in the last few years that can vouch for me that I'm nice and I couldn't hurt a fly with a handful that would REALLY vouch for me. I've had many come forward this week when they noticed me in distress assuring me that she's mentally insane or not right in the head because I never did anything wrong. I spoke with another friend who used to be very close with her, and she told me that she might be a Narcissist (not a professional diagnosis) and she has a lot of issues herself. How she's very vindictive and manipulating herself. I can't tell if everything she said to me was projection because we never talked and she never gave me a chance to talk to her. I'm also flabbergasted because according to a friend of mines who knows from a coworker that works with her,she's a psychology major.

She doesn't know you, and apparently has issues. She is angry and frustrated with herself and wants to make others feel the same.i

Curious but what happiness do people get from trying to make others feel miserable...I don't understand why bullying/harassing someone does. :/

That is definitely a form of projection. And I agree with your one friend that used to be close to her, she most likely is a narcissist. Not a definite because as you mentioned, it's not a professional diagnosis, but it's very possible. I knew people like that and still do to this day. Something doesn't go their way, they project it onto someone, usually someone who is not as assertive, and treat them like crap. Also people like that will always find reasons to believe they are better than others and that's clearly what's happening with this girl who seems to have it out for you.

She is not right in the head and the fact that she's a psychology major is definitely annoying. Stay away from her, she actually probably secretly enjoys it when you message her and get all defensive. Trust me, I know people who are like that and actually love it when people get defensive and upset. It's their way of feeling more powerful and better about themselves. I wouldn't talk to her anymore. If it gets worse and she's out to ruin your life, then get the authorities or someone with power involved.

Yep,I have witnessed such behaviours.Some people do find happiness in others misery,they even try to make a happy and content person miserable for the sake of fun.

She could well be projecting her stuff onto you. Given that she is a psychology major means she way well understand psychological definitions but that does not make her a nice or functional person.

Try to block/ignore her. It's her circus and her monkeys. Your friends know who you are. Care about the people who care about you.

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Originally Posted by BrittyBird Long story short I was harassed by a girl I barely knew who seems to have it out for me. She went around spreading a twisted story/lie about my past,so I kindly messaged her my side of the story and blocked her as advised. After that a few hours later she messaged me a long paragraph on her alternate account. And then another half hour later she somehow found my other social media to message. She was angered and called me a ***** and said she didn't bother to read my story. How she doesn't care about me and how I don't affect her life. She said many horrible things I will not write unless someone asks me.

Did she threaten you? This seems very stalker-ish to me. You donot have to share what she said if you do not want to.

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She said that I was manipulative of others to get what I want,that I lie a lot (we never talked ever,I'm not kidding,) that I'm controlling or something. (Sidenote: she also got mad at my friend/her coworker for telling me what she was saying about me and got mad he "snitched" on her.)

What basis does she have for these feelings? Like what lead up to this explosion?

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I have about 30 ish friends that I've met in the last few years that can vouch for me that I'm nice and I couldn't hurt a fly with a handful that would REALLY vouch for me. I've had many come forward this week when they noticed me in distress assuring me that she's mentally insane or not right in the head because I never did anything wrong. I spoke with another friend who used to be very close with her, and she told me that she might be a Narcissist (not a professional diagnosis) and she has a lot of issues herself. How she's very vindictive and manipulating herself. I can't tell if everything she said to me was projection because we never talked and she never gave me a chance to talk to her. I'm also flabbergasted because according to a friend of mines who knows from a coworker that works with her,she's a psychology major.

I do not think it matters if she is a narcissist or projecting. She is HARASSING and that to me is the issue. It doesnt matter if you have 1 friend or a 100 friends that can vouch for you; you do not need anyone's approval or proof about who you are. What about this person's opinion affects you? Are your true friends cutting you out over this?

I agree with the others...

She's a psych major but this doesn't make her a nice or functional person.

It definitely sounds like she is projecting stuff onto you.

(I wrote this on a facebook post more in dept)
So TL DR 2 years ago I ran my old college japan club. At this time I dated a guy named Steve lete just call him that. And he cheated on me twice. Once online once in person and I have screenshots for both times I caught him. He also tried to strangle me as "assisted suicide." He saw this time I was getting closer to another guy "white looking guy" and got mad and threatened suicide if I left him. I couldn't do anything so I stayed with him but went on a date with this other guy. I tried breaking up with him prior to that but he kept saying no and kept bothering me.

I finally snapped the day he thought of doing "something" or maybe it was just talk,on our school rooftop and called in school health services. They took him away,others got involved and witnessed it,and that was our official breakup because he refused to breakup with me through text.

Fast forward to now this girl went around telling some people at her new job about me and talking/spreading lies. Her coworker (my friend) heard and told me. So I messaged her and she messaged me back with that on her alternate account and later my discord. She doesn't know me at all and never bothered to talk to me to get to know me. She only believes what my sociopath (everyone knew he was a sociopath and had issues) ex told her or what these other people told her because I had another ex prior to him that talked badly of me and now hes apologetic because he started something. She never gave me a chance to talk to her. She only knew me 2 years ago as club vice president and she left and never came back. She keeps on claiming she doesnt know me yet she spouts crap she heard from other people which isnt true.

For anyone curious who she heard these things from;my school is notorious for the toxic club I used to run and they also split off into a hallway to hang out at school. The group was full of liars,thieves,people that talked behind each other's backs,and people that actually cheated on their significant others when they were not present. Some members didn't like me because
1)I had an ex spread lies about me and he is apologetic of this and understands he caused the hate
2)one guy doesn't like me because I was the only person to voice my opinion if it was different. Remember the kid that got murdered in New York named junior? He said who tf cares and I said I do,and many others did as they went to the vigil. And he got mad at me for things like that
3)a guy doesnt like that he lost a game tournament my club held and started a rumor that I stole the prize money for me and my boyfriend
Basically they're toxic and she believes them over me
So she messaged me this after I messaged her what was posted above and blocked her. She found me on her alt account and messaged me. She then messaged me later the same thing and somehow found my discord.
Imho it sounds like she's projecting because I legit have friends that can vouch that I wouldn't hurt a fly and I'm empathetic and kind. But all it takes is her,1 person to make my self esteem crumble.. I spoke to one of my friend's who used to be a former friend of hers and she told me this girl is very two faced and manipulative herself so she shouldn't be talking. How she likes to act better than others people,etc.

To sum it up,I dated a sociopath (not a professional diagnosis but he had many of the symptoms that aligned with a sociopath.) He cheated on me twice,and I have evidence of this for both times. I was falling out of love and tried breaking up with him and he refused. I slowly started to fall for someone else who had a pure heart and he realized this,and threatened suicide if I left him.I felt trapped.He claimed to try to do something on the school roof (which had fences put up,) and I got health officials involved. They took him away. I moved on and eventually dated someone new. Before he got taken away,he went around telling people that I cheated on him,when some of them knew he cheated on me because they saw the evidence I posted.

I guess she went around talking to them and heard from them "I cheated: and believed them,instead of asking me what really happened.

In the message she sent me,besides greeting me as a *****,she told me that my ex probably got with me for some (I think it's going to be censored) the p word for Vagina. It was so vulgar and rude. She then got mad at me and my friend and said I was leading him on. Because he heard from his job what she was saying,and told me.So she's mad that he "snitched" and thinks that by him telling me that,I'm leading him on.

I'm sorry for the long read

I also don't expect to believe my story but I'm sorry,that is what happened and that's not a lie. I had a horrible community college experience.

Also,I haven't lost any friends over this. It actually made me closer to a handful of them. And I don't know why it's getting to me when I barely know her. I think it's because I haven't met someone like this in so long. Someone so vindictive that doesn't want to bother talking to me to learn about me or learn what I'm like,instead believing other people and not the source herself. The feeling of not being given a chance or not being believed at all.

She is not projecting. She is just being a B***h. She is caught up in her own nasty dramatic way of being in this world. As we go through life you will find that some people may or may not like you. You will also find that you wont like everybody either.

You are not in college now. Hopefully in time you will move on and leave her behind you.

Forget about her.. and get some TLC