Relationship Problems and my Mental and Physical State.

So, i've been in a toxic relationship for more than a year now. I myself, and other people, agree that me and my significant other (S.O) are both toxic. Even before we started dating, I saw red flags in him, there were things I didn't like about him, but I tried to accept him for how he viewed life. The whole summary is, I tried to look past his flaws, but he wouldn't do the same in mine. I don't know there's a lot in my mind. It's hard to arrange my thoughts. I'm still hurting, to the point where I got so depressed and I know other kids have it bad. But.. that's it

Due to the CoVid19 crisis, we haven't seen each other since and we've been fighting a lot through texts and calls. But now, I decided to just ignore him even if I knew it would cause more trouble. I just want clarity.

People in general are feeling a heightened level of stress due to the covid19. In your situation, I'd use covid19 to your advantage and break it off with him. Why? You can't see him now, anyway.. and, if you're self-harming, this relationship is not at all worth it.

Toxic behaviours feed toxic behaviours and you seem to know yourself well enough to conclude that some of it is coming from your end.

Instead of asking someone to understand "your" toxicity, I'd instead work on the root cause that's triggering you.

Positive efforts create positive changes which introduces us to other positive people.

Stay strong and let him go.