People who cling to their child and their relationships

I still think seeing a therapist might be a good idea. It’s a bit concerning that close and loving relationship that this woman has with her boyfriend and child is perceived as abnormal but having relationship with abusive and distant sociopath is perceived as ok. Personally if I felt this way I’d like to see a therapist to understand why I feel this way, sometimes if people never had good relationship neither romantic nor family relationship, they might have confusing understanding of what’s normal. It might appear abnormal because it’s unfamiliar.

Good therapy could help. Good luck

I don't think this is about the loving behaviours towards the child. It's more about the potential unhealthy severity of it. I also think it stems from the normalcy of social media.. the excessive selfies, the "narcissistic" posts, the spamming of family photos. It's a bit much, IMO. It's a joint account. Does he have access to it? Does he post?

I find this mom to be a bit over the top, based on what the OP has said. It doesn't sound like she's having matching outfits with the family, as a family-wide fun event. She's apparently pairing herself with her child, only. As for his holiday costumes, most kids like to choose their own. Last year, my 3yr old wanted to be a pumpkin. I let her be, without outshining her with my own pumpkin costume. Individuality in our family is really important to me.

It's possible this mom is forming an unhealthy relationship with her child. When strong words like "always", "constantly", etc.. are used I question the accuracy of a story. It's subjective. Has the OP recorded their yearly habits for the past 11 years?

Also, if mom is "holding" her 11 year old.. what does that even mean? Does he have special needs? Something sounds off.

Who really knows. Some things sounded perfectly fine and some sounded like maybe overprotective mom and some sounded very subjective and some sounded like this woman just isn’t liked so nothing she does is good enough. Not enough information for us to know what’s normal and what’s not.

As a parent yourself you know that some things you (hypothetically) do other parents might find unnecessary. There are many parenting styles. Minus abuse who is to say what’s normal?

OP doesn’t seem to know them on a very deep level to determine what’s going on and she even suggested that perhaps they behave normal in their own home. They might dislike this particular crowd so they cling to each other for comfort at the parties. Who knows.

I think the OP left, but I thought I’d post this: We just binge watched the entire series of Arrested Development. The mother is unhealthily attached with the youngest son, who is around 40, and they have a history of dressing up in matching costumes together. The joke is that it is an annual contest called Mother Boy. See photo.

Families taking Christmas photos in matching outfits- normal. Just mother wearing matching Halloween costume with 11 year old boy- not normal.

There were a lot of unanswered questions by the OP that would have given us enough information to draw better conclusions.

Honestly, I dont think the OP cares about other member's opinions. Instead I think she just wanted some ideas about possible disorders she could search and read about.

I wouldn’t know if an over-bearing, overly-attached, overly-protective mother or anything like that necessarily qualifies as a diagnosis.

The outlandish egocentric behavior of the mother character in Arrested Development suggests she’s a narcissist, I presume. They never outright say she has a diagnosis and it’s a comedy.

Or as being "toxic" as the OP put it.

Personally I think the OP was a bit rude in their delivery.

I have much the same situation in my own family, and no i don't have kids (and the reason is connected, so...) and it's heartbreaking to see the parents' insecurities being forced upon the child, as if a kid doesnt have enough of his own to deal with. From my point of view, these branches of the family tree eventually wither away.

But we don’t know enough to conclude if the woman has insecurities. That’s the thing. We don’t know and neither does OP, she doesn’t know this mother and child on any kind of deep level. There are some messed parenting cases and we all know these cases irl.

But you got to really know these people on the deep level to decide if it’s normal. What people post on social media and how they behave at parties isn’t enough for diagnosis of normal versus abnormal. It’s also subjective and at times cultural.

There are examples of parenting i see around me and find absolutely bizarre yet I understand that it’s subjective due to culture, upbringing, life style etc

I think the OP doesn't like the woman in question or is jealous of her and wants to find something wrong with her though extensive diagnosis and judgements.

Yes it came across as though this woman was not attractive enough to have this guy and child. Therefore something must be off.