Is it rude to want my GM to close?

I work at McDonald’s and GM’s usually don’t work night shifts. Also, only one manager close each night. An hourly manager was scheduled to close that day (3-11 pm) and I said I want the GM to close. The GM already worked a full day shift. The hourly manager said I’m rude. I asked her how I was rude and she said, “I’m closing. Get over it.”

I wasn’t even talking about her. I was talking about the GM. How was I rude to her? Some people take offense to everything!

Ruby, it could be that the manager who was closing was hurt by you saying you wanted someone else to close. She might have felt rejected by you.

Ruby, that is not professional to say you would prefer someone else to close, someone who has worked a full day and who doesn't close or work nights. The supervisor closing probably did take it as a personal insult. If you don't understand how that is rude, please speak with your counselor/therapist. It's not a matter of some people taking offense to "everything". You continue to not take responsibility for your actions at work, over and over again. And you get yourself into trouble, over and over again as a result.

Honestly I don’t think it’s your place to tell management what to you want them to be doing. It’s entirely out of turn and inappropriate

She acted like I was specifically rude to her, but I wasn't even talking about her, so I don't understand. How was it a personal insult?

I was stating what I wanted, not telling them what to do. I don't know how I was rude bc coworkers sometimes say they want to work with so and so.

1. You don’t get to tell management what you want unless they ask. If they don’t ask keep your opinion to yourself

2. By telling your hourly manager than you want someone else to close (not hourly manager) you came across rude. You pretty much indirectly told her that you don’t want her to close. It’s rude

3. I am pretty sure coworkers don’t tell management which manager they want to work with, particularly they don’t tell managers that they prefer other managers. It’s rude and inappropriate

4. Hourly manager is not your friend. She is your boss and you are a subordinate

5. Yes you were talking about her. You were saying you’d rather someone else to close, not her. That’s rude

6. Not someone aren’t offended by “everything”. But most people are offended when others are rude to them or cross boundaries. Sadly you were both rude and crossed professional boundaries

7. Please describe this incident to your therapist. Ask for help with this. You can learn from this incident. Instead of blaming your manager please seek help in learning how to accept responsibility and how to know your place and not keeping crossing boundaries at work

OK now I know how I ****ed up. People aren't always patient enough to explain to me. Good thing we have mental health forums lol.

I am glad to hear it helped! That’s what we are here for. Peer support. I do agree that people don’t always have patience or time to explain irl. Hugs

You might want to apologize to the manager you spoke with, the one you didn't want to close.

I know that it was not your intention to be rude to her, but it nevertheless was a rude comment.

Did you say to the manager who was closing that you wanted the GM to close because you like them better or prefer to work with them for some other reason? Yes, that was hurtful to a person to be told they were not wanted and not liked as much as the other person. That’s why it was rude.

Also, the manager does the managing, not you, the employee. It really wasn’t your place to say what you preferred.

I’m glad you understand what you did wrong.

The problem now is that she hasn’t treated me like human since then, even after I said I didn’t know. People just assume I knew what I was doing. Why can’t they assume otherwise?

Ruby if you want accommodations at work and more understanding of your struggles, responsibility to inform people about your disability and struggles is on you, not on other people. That’s how it works. Yes it could be hard but unless you inform people, they can’t possibly guess.

Looks like your question has been answered in detail. I'm glad you now see how it was a problem.

Did you sincerely apologize and take responsibility for your actions?

Yes. I explained that I didn’t know it was rude but she’s still treating me different

What exactly does she do

Ignore me and be nicer to everyone else. Acts annoyed with me. The incident was 2 weeks ago and she must’ve decided she don’t wanna associate with me.

She is a manager. She doesn’t need to associate with you. If she discriminates against you you could talk to GM but if she just ignores you I think it’s something you have to let go

Ruby, did you actually APOLOGIZE to her for your rudeness, or did you later simply tell her that you didn't realize you were being rude? There's a BIG difference in the two scenarios.

IF you owned up to your actions AND apologized to her, there's no reason for her to hold a grudge. But if you NEVER actually owned up to what you said, took responsibility for it and directly stated to her "I apologize for being rude, I didn't mean it", then she has a right to still be annoyed with you.

When I was at the gym and I missed a shot at basketball, a girl of about 5 y/o pointed at me and said I missed.

Also, when I was at drive thru, a little boy in one of the car asked his mom (the driver) if a coworker was a girl.

In both these scenarios, they were rude. So were instances when a 3 year old sees a pregnant lady in public and loudly ask his/her parents why that lady is so fat. Were they ever told to shut up? Yes the hourly manager actually told me to shut up. When I asked her what I should shut up for, she said I said something rude. And she brought it up again with one other person the NEXT day. The whole incident happened in front of the GM. He also later explained to me how it was rude. Hey, I don't know everything and I need things explained to me sometimes.

Well you can’t possibly compare 3 year olds and 5 year olds kids to yourself? You are an adult and you are at work. You don’t see that as different? You want 3 year olds held to the same standard as a grown up employee who gets paid for doing their job and behaving? You can’t be serious. I remember you did it in the past too asking why shouldn’t you be allowed something if 3 year olds can do it

I agree that things need to be explained to you but you often refuse to accept explanations. So now it sounds that GM explained to you that you were rude the very next day (you said no one explained anything to you but clearly they did). Yet two weeks later you post on here that you don’t understand why it’s rude.

And it happens with every situation. People irl and us on here explain something to you and you seem to be in a right track but then days or weeks or month or years later you always come back and say you don’t understand how you are wrong. It seems that you are having hard time accepting that you could ever be wrong.

Hourly manager shouldn’t say “shut up”. They need to say it differently. You can discuss it with GM

Ruby, you’re comparing yourself to a 3 and 5 year old. Like divine said,, children cannot be held to the same standard of behavior as an adult.

Also, you never answered my question. Did you actually apologize to the closing supervisor?

I feel like you never respond to my posts, too. Maybe I’m just not helpful. I mean, you don’t have to, but it does feel like getting snubbed; just like your manager felt.

When a young child makes an honest observation and a comment that is offensive, they are told that while their observation is true, it is hurtful to say it to the person. The child learns about truth and kindness and grows up, modifying behavior to keep their rude thoughts to themselves.

I understand you have a disorder, so I see this is why you are not maturing in this area.