He said he loved me

I'm in a process of divorce. I've been married a year, in the relationship for 7 to 8 years. It's been abusive emotionally and mentally. There were good times and bad times. But he turned from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde all the time.

Long story short, he was admitted in Chandler, az in hospital. He had been missing a week without calling me until recently. We had a massive fight. I'm tired of being told to tell people what to do on his behalf. I'm tired of him slitting his wrists and showing it to me. I'm tired of him assuming I'm not doing the best I can when I did. So he left in the middle of the night. He kept calling me few times three days from yesterday. He said he's sorry, he said he wanted to talk to me. He said he doesn't want my dreams lost, he said he wanted to fix things and so on. I don't know what to believe. My parents think he's a sociopath and the book psychopath free says as much. I just dont know how I feel and I really don't know what to do. He always hated it here, he hated the dog, he was always controlling and he expects me to do everything for him. He never works and is always sick and in pain since forever. I do love him, but I can't do this as he did this multiple times.

How many times must I forgive him?

I can't do this anymore. It's just hurting me so much when he send me these voicemails, but I know we'll be right back to what we've started.