Therapists and discard?

I wonder if a particular personality style of therapist suddenly decides their patient is ''beyond help'' and discards them? With bullying words?

I do not know how to ensure that any therapist I consult is not another who does this when I have not done anything wrong and have been compliant in therapy. And I am not overly passive, aggressive, passive aggresssive..... idk. It's hard having to psychoanalyse my own therapist

Feel your pain. I brought this up on day one with my current therapist. I find it really stressful to end a relationship, and I'm upfront about what makes me feel triggered and defensive. A therapist is someone that you should be able to gradually open up with, and feel comfortable sharing deep scary stuff with, without fear of push back. It can be traumatising/retraumatising being dismissed or shut down.
I'm sure my last therapist had poor self awareness. It really angers me now that she would tell me counciling isn't right for me, after I had decided to stop seeing her. I can't believe that she would hold that belief as a councillor/therapist. I think she didn't have the guts to say she wasn't able to help me any further.
They're only human, and it is likely "just a job" to some.
I really like my current therapist. He does trigger me sometimes, but he takes his time listening, and doesn't usually rush his remarks. He even says sometimes "I just need a minute to think about what you've just said", and he does feedback really positively. It's really helpful.
Think there's no way to ensure. I'm looking for a therapist I really like, that seems tough enough to hear me out, and not get defensive.
It's not your job to make your therapist feel comfortable

That is terrible when they say that therapy or counselling is not ''right'' for someone instead of admitting and owning their own........ stuff Ugh

I'm sad this still happens in some prehistoric areas

I think that is part of the problem, when they do not think out their ''interpretations''.... I was told I was ''taking things out of context''.... but any context would not be ok with some of the things they said

Do you think your current T might be a keeper?

hugs and respect

It's weird because, in couples therapy there's such a push against "you" comments, because it's confrontational. I don't see the point in telling you you've misinterpreted something, when they could just rephrase if they need to get their point across! You could just counter "you're not making yourself clear" and then they've got themselves in an argument
I've got a lot to say to my therapist next session. I'm not sure at the minute, cause there's some stuff I feel I need to see a female therapist for (not being sexist, just is complicated). Just not sure at the minute

I know what you mean, you statements can indeed be confrontational. And I am certain that ALL therapists know this, when a ''you'' statement is negative

I think that is something I would state upfront, how unhelpful accusatory ''you'' statements are and how they are very untherapeutic. So maybe I would be ''too difficult'' ......

We pay these people who are supposed to, I thought, offer positive regard. And useful insights ... not name calling.

I do not think you're being sexist. I wonder why we are somehow ''trained'' to be ''passive'' and walk on eggshells?

Haha, "too difficult" would really show them up! I'm sure it's a difficult job, lots of thinking on the spot, and must get tiring seeing client after client. That's their problem though!
It is weak to put someone down to make yourself feel better, or make them "easier to deal with" urghhhhh. That's loads of people's MO... especially teacher's in my experience, bad bosses... basically anyone "in charge" that doesn't love their job...resentful parents...etc. etc. Just get their self worth from controling It's a mad world

It's actually a challenging job being a therapist. They need to have patience and sit and listen to the patient because the ultimate goal is to help the patient help themselves. Also to help the patient understand themselves so they can begin changing things about themselves that can improve their perspective as well as helping them develop skills to not only better manage themselves, but others as well.

Learning about all the different challenges/labels is only one part, the next is seeing if these labels apply to the patient, then listening to that patient and helping that patient not only better understand their challenge but to better manage whatever is happening in their environment that is causing problems, some of which they may be unknowingly creating themselves.

Also, a therapist can encounter a patient that has a challenge the therapist doesn't feel comfortable treating and sometimes they refer to a different therapist or gently tell the patient they can't help them.

For example, not all therapists are experienced in treating trauma ptsd patients, that's pretty specialized. Or trying to treat a patient that dissassociates a lot because treatment does require discussion.

Choosing a T is very hard.

Its not like we know what they can help with until we have got to know them. It is expensive to find out that they are not compatible.

CPTSD is very difficult to treat and after many years, I have accepted that I will never recover. I seek to find support and reduce my time spent triggered.

Psychotherapy is more helpful than counselling. Counsellors seem inexperienced every time to me.

I have to work at improvement while accepting that I am never going to be a "normal person."

Sending hugs and respect to all who have had therapy that has been unhelpful.

My therapist the first one I saw after about a year and a half, said I was difficult. Since she had to ask a lot of questions of me and I really never started the conversation.

You know, I refer to myself as a difficult patient to my therapist because I will call him out immediately when he says something that is confusing to me or that I don't understand, and I'm also very upfront about what kind of help I need. And if he upsets me, I tell him. A good therapist will understand and appreciate you explaining your needs, and also will take the opportunity to find out why what they said was off base - and this serves as an exploration to helping you, which always turns into something useful.

BTW, my therapist disagrees that I'm difficult and says that I'm very direct and blunt about my needs, as well as much more open to say exactly what I'm feeling. I don't know, I feel like if I were my therapist I'd be a difficult client, but maybe because I just lay it all out on the table, he finds it easier to work with?

There's always an amount of training you have to do with your therapist to help them learn how to best meet your needs. That might sound weird, but it's like if you hired an employee to help you around the house. You'd have to show them where to put things away and how you want things done. A lot of people (not saying this is you) allow their therapists to direct the course of therapy and never lay out actual goals. My first meeting with my therapist I said "these are my goals - I'm disabled by a psychiatric illness (PTSD and others), and I'm planning on going back for a PhD, I run two businesses, and I have to figure out how to better deal with triggers so I don't shut down entirely and screw everything up. I can't afford another breakdown and being out of life for 5 years again." So I set the ground rules and every week we work on improving my coping skills in different areas.

So I'd say if you feel like you're training a therapist in the first month of seeing them, that's normal and a good thing - and hopefully they are listening to what your needs are.

And I hope I didn't get off topic here. I think I may have gone off on a tangent.

To go back to your question of discard: I'd be blunt and say this to your next new therapist. See how they handle that question.