Misinterpreting what others say...

Happens to me all the time!

An example. Yesterday we got a new baby bearded dragon lizard shipped to us from Florida and she arrived before my husband returned from the pet store with needed items for her enclosure. I opened the small plastic container she had been shipped in and set it in the terrarium to let her out when she was ready. By the time he returns, she is already exploring. When he saw this he said, "oh, you already put her in there". All he meant was he had hoped to get back before she arrived and I took it to mean he was pissed that I didn't keep her in the container until he got home and my blood boiled.

My therapist said I need to stop doing this though even she admitted it was easier said than done.

Was he pissed for any reason?

The paper boy could have managed this level of insight !!

I thought Ts were supposed to be facilitating us reflecting upon & working through our shortcomings?

I misinterpret too! You're not alone in that for sure. Has your T given you any techniques or skills to help change / cope? Checking the facts (a DBT skill) has really helped me.

Realizing you may have this problem is a good start.

At times it can be due to being exposed to a controlling person and it’s similar to flinching if a person raises their voice etc.

It takes time to train yourself not to react.

That's just it. He wasn't pissed at all.

Well, she put it more eloquently than that in the context of mindfulness but that's the way I heard it. 😁

Mindfulness mostly.

He is controlling, no matter how much he denies it.

I've had that problem as well. My mother used questions as a way to criticize me. She would often ask something like "Why do you think X?" in a tone of voice that suggested "Why the h___ do you think X?" And then she would take it personally, yell at me, and tell me all that was wrong with my view. So for many years I felt defensive and hurt when people asked perfectly reasonable questions. I am doing better now but must remain vigilante!

Oh my gosh! I do this too! I tend to think that people are mad at me when they are not. I have most difficulty when it is over text message or email or something like that. Where you don't get to hear the inflection and see their facial expressions but sometimes I misinterpret in person too. You are definitely not alone! HUGS Kit