Marriage Problems

Check womenslaw.org. most states have laws that allow abuse victims to break a lease if they are a Co leasing a rental unit. It's worth checking into.

Thanks! Does that mean I can possibly break my lease without having to find someone to sublet my portion?

Check womenslaw.org

Some states go above and beyond domestic violence laws permitting a lease to be broken without penalty. It's worth checking if your state is one of them.

It's likely worth talking to your landlord as well. Ask for specifics about taking one person on the lease leaving and one staying. Penalties for breaking a lease are usually incurred because the landlord loses rental income. If one person is staying and paying the rent, there shouldn't be a penalty.

I submitted a question through the website to get more details for my state. What I want to know and asked on womenslaw.org is whether I can break my lease and absolve myself from having to find a sublet to take my place for the duration of the lease.

My husband cannot afford the full rent by himself, if I leave early. He would either have to get a roommate, or move out himself.

So? A week or two ago you said it didn't matter what happened to him. If you can legally get out of the lease and he can't afford it on his own, that's his problem, not yours. It's OK if he fails and you succeed.

Take care of you first.

(I'm not trying to be witchy, I'm simply trying to encourage you to tap into strength you already have)

He just called to tell me that he may be able to move into the place he moved into the first time we separated. This will resolve things all around, if so.

He’s a grown man. Not a child. If he at age 50 or over 50 can’t afford rent, then he needs to find roommates or quit pot and stop partying and start living within his means. You aren’t his mother. He needs to find ways to support himself just like the rest of us

To get out of lease because of abuse is doable but you’d have to prove it. It isn’t always easy as you need enough evidence

Agreed. But I think he's found a solution. He tells me he can move back into where he lived before when we first separated. That solves the problem.

I have been following this thread but I hadn’t written anything because I wasn’t sure that I was gonna lose my time. You know…couple issues are delicate and normally when we receive suggestions or insight about it, we feel bad when we don’t receive messages as to what it’s best to do. It’s a very personal topic. This is how I see it.
But, from what I read here and others of your threads, it seems to me you have progressed and are pretty open to hear others.
So, why don’t we focus or react in a different way this time.
Why not stop giving your husband information about what you are thinking at the moment and about what you are planning to do in the future. I mean, saying him that you are thinking of cut the relation off is giving him ammunition for him to openly going on trying to manipulate you. And this is only prolong possible circle of abuse and get your confusion grow.

Recap: Take some distance so you will perceive with more certainty what’s the true behaviour on your husband while preparing your posible exit from the marriage.
You will see how long he’s ready to go and what to expect when he’s being himself.

This is my suggestion if I put myself in the sane situation, of course. Giving my partner or my husband no information about what I’m thinking of doing in the future. No ultimatum at all and see how he behaves without pressure.

Thanks. I am definitely open to suggestions. Divorce is already out in the open and is underway. We are officially separated, sleeping in separate bedrooms. Now we just have to be civil to each other while we still must live together. It may be a couple of months before he can move out. He did find a place to move into.