[Brego]

I tried them and I think they are definitely not for me. I was stunningly surprised at the amount of time it all led to nothing. Yet, I do not know how to meet a guy....I do not ever go out for the night. I hardly leave the house. But I want so badly to be in love. I want so badly to experience life as it comes with a man and I think I can. I just don't know how....Should I just let it be? Do you think I should maybe try harder? I think all the time they all will find me so unappealing and even say something about it. It's a social inhibition. I think I want to maybe work on myself like self-development sometimes. That could do me so much good. I want to interact with a man in love with me more than someone just a friend. I'm coming off my seat here. What in the world should I even do?

[RollercoasterLover]

I had the same problem. I tried dating apps and just found it to be a waste of time.
My advice though to try different activities you enjoy 9r are just interested it.. I started walking with a group of senior ladies a long time ago. It happened by accident, but those 5 ladies changed my life for the better. I've been to parties at their homes and met their families, we are working on a book of life lessons and stories together, we support each other and take care of each other. They've encouraged me to join activities I enjoy, be more active in our communities and meet people, and that involvement has also opened up several dating opportunities with men who enjoy the same activities I do. It's a start for me and I'm enjoying growing into the life I want for myself.

Meetup is a great way to find activity groups. I also subscribed to my local newspaper because the events section always lists different local events and volunteer opportunities that aren't always listed online. The point is to have fun being who you are and you will meet people who will want to know you. Good luck!

[Brego]

@RollercoasterLover That sounds so fun!! I will have to try that sometime.

[Orwellian Nightmare]

Brego, I was quite touched by the sincerity of your post.

I have never tried dating apps but previously met several potential partners via online dating sites.

I'll echo what Roller Coaster said re Meetup groups. I just joined a local activities group and its been a lifeline. I'm out of the house and being social on my own terms. I've developed a secret romantic interest in a fellow member which is fun. I'd urge you to consider this option if you're able. It's hard to form romantic attachments from your home. Find a local group that do things you find interesting. Pick and choose what to commit to. If you've been out of action romantically, as I have for a long time, it's a positive way to ease back into the social side of things.

[AzulOscuro]

@Brego, I subscribe what you have been said so far. It’s very important that you don’t limit that boost to your self-esteem you may receive from the outside to have a love partner. Deeper and meaningful connections are more likely to come from casual ones. And when not, you will have the opportunity to meet people to share a time with.

Then, it’s also very important (I would say, the most important) to work on yourself.
This thought you have about your fear people not finding you appealing is not fair with you. I know you feel this fear deeply but it’s not fair or truth. I’m sure there will be people you will be able to connect with. It’s only that some of us find it harder because our own circumstances. The only fact that you are thinking about you being rejected is already a strong brake for you so much that you don’t see the time to leave the house.
What about figuring some little goals that make you leave the house little by little. My advise is to put a date to achieve these goals and think very well, the steps to give to achieve these goals. They must be orientated to your interests according to the possibilities your city offers you.

For example, let’s say you want to work on your body and be fitter.
This is the goal to achieve in let’s suppose, six months.
One step might be to have things ready to go out and take a walk four or five in a week.
All this is only an example.
When the time arrives. You already have the tracksuit, the shoes and all ready to go on the next step, go out for a fast walk.
I put the first step because from your post it seems you see hard to go out.
After you make a habit of going to walk.
You can go to the next step, for example, in these same walks you can stop and ask for information in a nearby gym to join later.

Well, this is only an example.

Also, setting some other goals to help you with getting the other (the social ones) could may be orientated to create other habits in your life as reducing your online time.

Hope it can help you. Good luck!

[ItsForMe]

Sadly I am in the same boat. I have been ghosted, stood up, removed, and no responses.

Since I am IT, let me help you on some things here.

The majority of the applications out there play on your insecurities. They also send fake people to your inbox if you don't have a subscription to entice you to sign up. Only for you not to hear anything from those people. Some will tell you that you have a "message" and in order to see it, you have to sign up. The apps play on the potential of love and so people buy into them.

So don't let that get to you. I also find myself internalizing the same thoughts. I have to tell myself that these are not true at all because they aren't. I know I am worth it and you should know that about you. Don't let the lack of responses ruin you like that. You got dis gurl!!!!!

[unaluna]

We all want to meet our charming prince. What a burden to put on another human being. Are you his ideal woman? Everytime i prepare a meal, i think about how i would resent sharing it with some ungrateful goon. And i would be just as hard on him. Toothpaste in the sink? Cap left off the tube? Off with his head!

Not to mention the nigerian online scams. Its not about a prince sending you email offering to share his inheritance. Now they pretend to be american servicemen. Google it. Gorgeous servicemen. Who turn out to be gay strippers IRL. I.e., stolen identities.

[Orwellian Nightmare]

Originally Posted by unaluna

We all want to meet our charming prince. What a burden to put on another human being. Are you his ideal woman? Everytime i prepare a meal, i think about how i would resent sharing it with some ungrateful goon. And i would be just as hard on him. Toothpaste in the sink? Cap left off the tube? Off with his head!

Not to mention the nigerian online scams. Its not about a prince sending you email offering to share his inheritance. Now they pretend to be american servicemen. Google it. Gorgeous servicemen. Who turn out to be gay strippers IRL. I.e., stolen identities.

I have absolutely no idea what you are going on about but it made me smile.

[divine1966]

I think meeting the right person is hard no matter where you meet then. I don’t find dating online that much different from dating anywhere else except online you meet more people.

But you can meet a serial killer at a church event or opera. They usually appear to be productive members of society. They don’t stand out as potential danger. Many people marry total jerks and they haven’t met online.

There’s a huge risk of a scam online though, more than other places. I agree with una. You better watch for that. Other than that I don’t think it matters where you
Meet them

[Brego]

I'm thinking I am aiming to do away with dating apps in my life. My thought is this: I'd actually rather try to meet someone in person, I do not want to meet someone based on a tiny, little thing like an app or website, I want there to be a real reason to go ahead and talk to someone. I'm going to quit. Thank you for all the responses.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by divine1966

But you can meet a serial killer at a church event or opera.

Aha! The Phantom of the Opera! Your funny, D!