[Lynn3734]

The last of my friends “broke up” with me today. I have to admit it was mostly just someone to socialize widh but now I have no one even for that. I’m estranged from my sister. If people keep leaving me and telling me it’s me, it seems like I’m the common denominator, right? I’m attractive, successful career and my personal relationships are a mess or just non-existent. That’s what bothered ne the most- I just have no one.
I’ve been going through the worst depression and anxiety for years. I’m a good person and a good friend as far as being there and supportive when They need something and then I get labeled as flakey because I have backed out of plans or don’t accept invitations. I just can’t seem to make it last. I am alone and lonely all the time.

[Yaowen]

Loneliness from abandonment is something I am quite familiar with unfortunately although I am not you and would not want to trespass the absolute uniqueness of your own experiences.

I use these Forums frequently to ease my loneliness and have met many concerned, empathetic and kind hearted people here. I wish I knew how to be of help to you but sadly I am in a similar situation. I hope you will feel welcome to lean on all of us here for support during the lonely times. Loneliness is terrible.

[Skeezyks]

You mentioned, in one of your previous posts, you had seen a new counselor (mental health therapist?) She came off as abrasive and you found the interview challenging. Hopefully, if you're not continuing to see her, you'll keep trying. It can take a few tries to find the right therapist. (Not every therapist works well with every client.) It sounds to me, from what you wrote, that finding a therapist you "click" with may be the best way to get to the bottom of what's going on here. As I think I mentioned in a previous reply I wrote to one of your posts, being alone without friends can, over time, become a habit (IMHO.) It can get to the point where one simply prefers to be alone. At least that's the way it's become for me. So I hope you can find a way to figure out why it is those in your life keep leaving you. Best wishes...

[Embracingtruth]

Friendships/relationships are often a complex journey. What I've learn through the years is that I can't apply the same rules of engagement to everyone I deem a friend. Sometimes people are good for some things that you do or hobbies you might share interests in. But they may not be the best people for more personal discussions (and that can be for a variety of reasons). Then there are others that fit that mode of being good for in-depth conversations, but they may not be big socializers, which means their capacity has its limits as well. So, for myself, I have friends that come in varying degrees of approachability that I seek out at different times, but not all the time. Maybe you just need to determine what you want most right now and gauge prospects from that perspective.

[eskielover]

Hopefully you can wotk with a Therapist to determine what "your" common denominator behavior is & change what is not working.

I back out if plans when I need to & none of my friends have a problem with that. Your backing out may just be their excuse for something else that is bothering them that would be much harder for them to bring up.

I have had a few nice friends that I have left. One was because of the passive aggressive way she communicated & I just got tired of dealing with it. I am busy with my farm & caring for horses & my fur babies so I really don't have time to deal with someone who complicates life at an emotional level. Just me, but it might be something to look at within yourself as to how you interface with people at a personal level. Analyzing ourself & our own behaviors is a good thing & making changes where necessary.