The God complex

My mention of learning disability was not insinuating you had that challenge. It was my older brother and a psychiatrist told my parents to use very strong discipline and no cuddling or bathing him. So my father took him out to the back shed and hit him with a belt and told him if he cried he would get hit harder. Then I witnessed him picked on every day on the bus and teachers were mean to him.

I was always stressed and traumatized daily from what I witnessed. Not only did my parents fail him but the psychiatrist failed him.

The treatment you describe experiencing was extreme abuse, horrific. Your parents were evil human beings.

How old are your parents?

Also, did your parents have a drinking problem? I ask because some people get very mean and abusive when they drink, even physically abusive.

I had a friend that was nice but would get real mean when she drank. She also developed an addiction to another drug and she ended up divorced and was not allowed near her two sons because she abused them.

The way a person behaves can be due to having a base problem that gets worse when they consume alcohol or combine alcohol with marijuana or cocaine.

For example, we develop an attraction to different movie stars yet if you learn about some of them they were known for having a very dark abusive side to them. Many of them were alcoholics and addicts.

There were no addiction or substance abuse issues.Some get high on substance, may be my parents get their high abusing me.

Yes, I can believe that.

I have witnessed adults neglect and do things to their children that is very wrong.
I was horrified and reported it to child protective services.

It may sound farfetched, but that is why my parents are very nice and generous with people.So that even when there is evidence of abuse,good samaritans are forced into silence under the weight of gratitude for the favours my parents do.When I witnessed the length my parents can go in terms of giving ( to only outsiders by the way) as a child it reinforced the idea that I was unlovable and faulty.Because they were capable of goodness that I saw.Now I put in the right perspective of me being their scapegoat, it really made sense.
OpenEyes,you said you reported to CPS.I am just curious and wanted to ask you.Would you if you were a friend of my parent and took favours and help from them a zillion times when you were in crisis ?Would you?

Yes! I would still report what I saw to CPS. I am brave where others choose to look the other way.

Ahh,I wish you were in my life.What made my suffering complicated is absence of that one brave person.My abusers were not too many,but there are plenty of flying monkeys.The flying monkeys make the abuse happen by turning the other way.They act mute,blind and deaf.COWARDS.

Yes! I most definitely noticed that. They fear calling out the abuse because they know they will become a target.
Yes, they often do look the other way. They are just as weak as the narcissistic abuser.

Some of those people who knew(I suspect they knew) I think were caught in a dilemma developed sympathy for me.While still maintaining friendships with my parents, they were extra kind to me.They liked me back then for who I was and still like me to this day.

I survived my childhood which is kind of a miracle in itself. I am grateful for a couple of people who were my angels and I think I survived because of their little kind gestures. For example serving me breakfast alongside with their own children, letting me sleep in their homes sometimes, giving me their kids sweaters for layering when shivering things like that.Or else I could've succumbed to the elements.

I don't know what the name of it is, but when people show a face to the outside world but in the house there is a different story... People find it hard to believe. Until it happens to you.

I shared my story with a person last week and the similarities in both our divorces were astounding.

There are patterns to these stories.

I cannot fathom having gown up like that. My parents loved me and I always felt safe at home. It was not until one relationship that made me realize people can be two-faced.

Although YouTube videos about narcissism are very informative, lately, they've been upsetting me because I do not understand why people treat others like that. It's really terrible and inhumane.

I read somewhere...."Street angels and house devils "Sounds like a fitting explanation to me.