Why does my husband constantly threaten to leave me & take my name off the account?

My husband was approved for SSI disability the first time he applied. In his case, he had been laid off (pandemic) for about 4 months. He had worked full time his entire life until then. He had a well-documented serious medical condition that was no longer responding to medical intervention. He also was diagnosed with early onset dementia (which we are pretty certain was the clincher). He was unable to safely drive himself anymore. His income from SSI was actually about what he was bringing home from his job, which wasn’t a huge amount but we were happy with the amount in his case.

From my research during the process, they generally need well-documented diagnosis and a history of regular treatment. Usually they say you have to have been unable to work for a year. I think in my husband’s case, it was clear that his employer had made significant accommodations that were beyond what most employers would ever consider. And his medical conditions were highly debilitating. During the process, they discovered a doctor’s notation recommending assessment for memory loss that we hadn’t had the chance to pursue, and social security paid for having that assessment done during the process.

All I can recommend is that you go onto the website and look at the information. I was very unsure he would qualify because he had worked within the year, but my gut told me his medical history would trump the timeline which it did. You just don’t know until you try.

How long have the two of you been married @jesyka?

If your husband worked his whole life full time, he qualified for SSDI. In addition he had ton of proof that he got to the point when he was unable to work anymore due to medical condition. He also was under regular medical supervision and treatment from medical professionals. I do not know if it’s even the same situation as OP’s

Thanks He has been working his whole life

I was responding to the other poster whose husband got disability after he became unable to work, but he worked his whole life. Your husband is not the one applying for disability

29 years

he would have to support you for life if you divorce him

My husband’s ex was awarded spousal support for 8 years. It was around 1k a month. Can’t really live on that. /QUOTE]

that is true, you cannot live on 1K. But 8 years in Jesyka's case will already be pushing the age of retirement, which would likely mean that it won't be ordered but lifetime spousal support will be ordered instead. There is no expectation that people should be working after age 65, even though many are and I certainly hope I will be.

All of this needs to be discussed with a family lawyer in San Jose area.

Does he have retirement funds, @jesyka? Do you even know what he does or does not have?

Note that community property in California goes the other way, too: community debts are community debts. Even though you had no involvement in various debts your husband got into, such as the debts to the IRS, in divorce you will still be responsible for 1/2 of those debts.

You are right, especially if they filed taxes jointly.
This really should be a cautionary tale of danger letting other person run your life and being so fully dependent on someone, especially someone shady and secretive.

So true. And it is likely that given their relative circumstances, he filed taxes jointly without letting Jesyka know about it.

This is what H&R Block, which is a fairly authoritative source, says about it:

Married Filing Separately might benefit you if you have to use the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) on a joint return (Only true if only one spouse is liable on a separate return) because the spouse with the lower income can qualify for tax deductions only by filing a separate return.

None of these circumstances applied to Jesyka and her husband.

If they file jointly, she must put her signature down. You can’t file jointly without both spouses signing. But I think he’s so shady that who knows if he fakes and forges things

We discussed this some time ago on this or an adjacent thread and somebody suggested that Jesyka's husband filed electronically. It has been so long since I filed taxes electronically while being married that I do not remember how the signature part works on such returns.

On paper returns (those I still remember), yes, both spouses must sign.

Both spouses must sign electronically. E- sign. Invalid without it. We file electronically. Must both sign electronically. Unless one spouse has power of attorney

Since that is how it is done, I assume that Jesyka's husband habitually forges her signature. And then this might be true outside of tax returns, too. On other important documents.

Now is really the time to find out what has been going on. Jesyka does not need the husband's signature to find out. This is what the IRS website says:

Copies of jointly filed tax returns may be furnished to either spouse. Only one signature is required. Sign Form 4506 exactly as your name appeared on the original return.

And this is the form: https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4506.pdf

@jesyka
do you know your husband's social security number?

On line 5 of the form, I suggest you put someone else's address so that your husband would not interfere with your mail. Do you have someone who can receive the mail from the IRS for you, give you the mailings, and not tell your husband?

Might not be forging. Might just say “sign here”.

Note that community property in California goes the other way, too: community debts are community debts. Even though you had no involvement in various debts your husband got into, such as the debts to the IRS, in divorce you will still be responsible for 1/2 of those debts.

I never said it’s useless. I am just saying it’s not as simple and you need to talk to your doctor about it as they’d know if you are unable to work

Can you prove that you are unable to work? Not that you don’t like those jobs or don’t get along with bosses but literally unable to work? I don’t know

If you haven’t worked 10 years in your life, SSDI it out of the question buy SSI pays very little and you need to be very low to no income. From what you describe on here you aren’t low income at all because your husband provides for you.

Now if you divorce your husband and have no income then you might qualify for SSI. But you need to talk to your doctor if they think you have a chance. They know you better