Why does my husband constantly threaten to leave me & take my name off the account?

I have nothing to do with the filing st sll. He has an accountant but I can’t talk to him.

He is shady. I have never signed a single thing ever. Weird!

Nope, I don’t recall signing anything ever. Maybe I might have a long time ago? Idk.

Yes, my good friend would help me if I asked her to.

Please do. Request copies of tax returns as far back as possible. You need to start learning what has been going on. I hope you know your husband's social.

OK. The IRS will send me copies even if I don’t know his s.s #?

Unfortunately, no, not without his social security number. You need that. It is required on the form (I posted the link to the form earlier in this thread). Usually, spouses know each other's SSN. He clearly knows yours and uses it on the returns he files with the IRS. It is a problem if you do not know his number.

Maybe other posters have ideas how you can learn his SSN. There was a law passed some years ago which requires truncation of SSNs on forms that get mailed. So even if you look around in his mail, say from the social security administration, you won't see the entire 9 digit number. I am out of ideas.

Where are your SS cards? Go look for the actual card? In document files or where do you keep documents? Honestly I don’t remember my husband’s SS number. Every time we needed each other SS for something we just ask each other or if the person isn’t available go look in a document files.

Jesyka, I wonder if he’s filing as “married filing separately” and since you don’t work you just never file? Do you have any proof that he files “jointly”?

Thanks for the info. I can get it onve the IRS sends us another letter. I’ll look things up then.

Idk. He hides everything. I can’t ask him for that as he’ll refuse to give it to me. I have mine hidden in a safe spot.

Idk. He doesn’t tell me anything, I have never filed anything. Him & his account do everything. I’m not involved in anything at all.

That’s true. I don’t have anything yo do with taxes or anything financial at all like paying any bills. He does everything. He won’t tell me anything most of the time too.

It will be grounds for divorce for me if my husband hid things. You have rights to demand to know his SS# or any other info.

My sister in law isn’t involved in any billings or financial dealings and she only ever worked occasional part time jobs, if any. That’s just how their marriage works and it’s fine, not that unusual. My brother isn’t a jerk though and .I am sure he’s not hiding anything, there’s nothing shady.

Regardless if you work or not, if you are legally married you have rights to know things. I know other families where one spouse doesn’t work but it doesn’t mean they are kept in the dark.

I’d also demand to know if there are any retirement savings. What’s he planning on both of you living on in old age? You have rights of information

My SS card is in a safety deposit box at a Wells Fargo bank branch. Jesyka's husband's SS card can easily be in a safety deposit box, too, and she would not even know about the existence/location of that box, much less have a key.

With retirement savings, yes, most definitely, @jesyka should know about them and how much money is in them. What you are suggesting @divine1966 would change the dynamic of the marriage, establish @jesyka's valid claim as an equal member of the couple union. Maybe the student therapist can help guide in doing that.

At some point she might have to STOP being too nice and being scared of him. Good idea about asking a therapist.

Re married filing separately, I doubt that the husband would so easily forego using Jesyka's exemption on a joint return. But of course we cannot tell what he is doing in reality.

I think this is autocomplete. I think you meant to say stop, not start.

That’s true. I am out of ideas with this situation

Hahah where is Unaluna? She will think I am insane

He has no savings. I asked him & he told me that. I do have a right to know these things. I’ll need to figure out a way to get him to share things with me.

JoI think my student therapist will be available in a month from now. Hopefully I’ll be able to get a good one to help me out with things.

I have tried everything. He is very stubborn & controlling.

How old is he? At some point you two won’t be able to work so are you two planning to just live on his SS as you will have none? It’s not doable. What are his plans? Is he waiting for inheritance?

He’s 60. Idk. He didn’t tell me what he intends to do. He’ll probably keep working until he literally can’t anymore.

Idk about his SS, but mine will only be $300 a month.

Imjust started looking for work. I hardly qualify for much, but I did find a job to where I can go walking with an elderly person 3-5 times a week for $20 an hour.

That and two f/t positions with benefits. One is for a cafe & the other is for a grocery store.

I’m applying to both jobs today. I already contacted the person for the walker job.