[Shakeitforme]

I am thinking that I need to do a balloon release or something to just get over someone that I have not seen in a few years.

I am lonely in general and what I found in this man is something I have never had or found before. It was not a good situation because he was married.

I need something to just get past it. We don't talk, he has no social media that I know of.
I saw something once of someone releasing one balloon in the air.
Any suggestions?

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by Shakeitforme

I am thinking that I need to do a balloon release or something to just get over someone that I have not seen in a few years.

I am lonely in general and what I found in this man is something I have never had or found before. It was not a good situation because he was married.

I need something to just get past it. We don't talk, he has no social media that I know of.
I saw something once of someone releasing one balloon in the air.
Any suggestions?

No balloon release. You have no idea where it comes down & we on farms have lost animals to balloons that just happened to come down in our fields. Not good if birds get tangled in the string or they land in the ocean either. Released balloons are destructive to the environment.

My suggestion would be to write a letter with your feelings & thoughts in it then BURN the letter of release.

[DerSteppenwolf]

I'd say loneliness is probably the real problem here, when we're lonely we tend to look back on the past more because we want to find a way to not feel alone again so your mind keeps thinking back at a time when you maybe felt less lonely.

Of course, if you could fix your loneliness you probably would have already, so that's not much of a solution.

[Shakeitforme]

Yes, I know loneliness has a lot to do with it.
I am going on dating sites and no one compares. It is as though when I swipe through profiles I am almost looking for him to appear. I also feel guilt because I did things to hurt him afterwards knowing I could never have him.
Even if I did have him, he would cheat on me! Just like he does his wife and everyone else.
He was my friend and we had something that was special to me. I don't have much in my life. I just thought maybe doing something, not sure what, that could get me over this hump and restart my life.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

What did you do that hurt him, if I may ask?

[Open Eyes]

The good thing about what you are sharing is that you are gaining ground in seeing what this man really was/is. What you are really grieving is what you imagined him to be, something you created in your mind about him that you wanted to be real and only for you.

You made a very common mistake in that you fantasized and thought if you hung on the fantasy would become a reality. This man is not capable of becoming a man that will be anyone’s one and only. All he does is act the part to get his ego/needs satisfied.

A big part of growing and maturing is slowly learning to identify the people that are selfish and don’t care the way we want. The hurt feeling is to remind and help us to pay attention and not make the same mistake again.

[Shakeitforme]

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

What did you do that hurt him, if I may ask?

One thing was I was on a chat app with him and in groups with random people. I found out he was seeing a woman on there. (This was after he was with me). I took screen shots of what he was telling me (because I knew he was telling her the opposite). I sent it to her and told her what he was about.

Needless to say, I think she thought she was his girlfriend. But in reality, he had ANOTHER girlfriend that he saw regularly. This chat woman lived far away and she only saw him occasionally. (I found all this out secretly going into these chats)
Anyway, this woman completly left the chat and erased herself and told him she didn't want to talk to him again (at least I think that's what happened)
He messaged me right after that. He told me he was sorry he hurt me. Told me I won because the woman in the chat was not in his life anymore and then he said he was also erasing himself from that app permanently! Then he said Bye. That was over a year ago.
I also did some other things but I'm not sure he thinks its me. I catfished him with another profile. I also tried to email screenshots to his wife, but no one ever wrote back so not sure she even saw them. I think he had to shut his facebook down because I think I tried to sign into it. I don't remember now.

I did stupid, silly stuff because I was so hurt.
I feel guilt about it, because I really don't want to hurt him.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

This is all very unfortunate and indeed silly stuff, but you need to find a way to move on and not feel burdened with completely unnecessary guilt.