wife said shes divorcing me

im a 52 year old male my wife is 43 we have been together 5 years married 2. l have felt something was off between us for 1 month but every time i asked her she said we were fine. last night she said she is divorcing me. we have a blended family and the kids are very close. im in shock right now. ive had 2 women do the same thing to me so i asked my wife when we got married to please communicate any issues and not blindside me like the previous 2 women did. she promised that she wouldnt do that to me and i trusted her completly. i feel like such a fool.

she refuses to go to counciling. she has major depression and i have a panic disorder. her complaints are that we dont bond over the same music. that i want to spend to much time with her. i thought putting our time together on our weekend without the kids a priority. im very affectionate and because of her depression she can be very cold. i try to be patient but she doesnt let me know shes in a depressive state and i feel rejected.

im a mess im not suicidal i would never leave my 10 yr old daughter but i dont want to be alive right now. can this be saved?