[UCLAFan]

I'm 37 years old.I have noticed the older i get.The harder it is for me to find true friends.I spend a lot of time on my own and at times hate it.I use to though.Hang out with people.I really did not like much.But then i thought i should stop being around folks i don't like.I hung out with folks i did not like for years.Because i would get bored and lonely.The main reason i did not like them folks.Was the friendship was one sided.I'd give and give.I'd listen and never been listend to.Plus some would gossip.Then when the person they gossiped about.Was around.They'd act like that person was their best friend. I even told someone who talked behind everyone's back to me. That i have a feeling she talks behind my back to.So i learned not to trust her.If i can't trust a person.I don't want to be their friend.Anyone else have this problem? I wish i was better at reading people. Ok a times i'd get bad vibes around some people.At times i should have belived that vibe.Because in the end.Most of those who i got bad vibes from. Ended up being jerks when i got to know them.I just don't want to be judgemental.So that's why at times i think getting bad vibes is bad.BUT My counselor says.When i get a bad vibe.Around a person i am not judging.But my intuition is telling me to be careful. Lately i have paid more attention to my intuition. I wish i would have done that sooner.Than i might have been hurt less.

[Rhapsody]

I am sorry you are feelings so badly with how people are in a friendships...... I guess it is true what they say -

When we get older we have less friends for we often tire of people and their stupid ridiculous unrespectful ways.

[tautologic]

People aren't perfect. Yes people gossip. Yes people sometimes disappoint us. This is all part of life. When you are taking inventory of your friends qualities, try to focus on their positive points. Everyone has negatives but is that truly who they are? Or is it merely a minor flaw you can learn to overlook or manage? If a person is truly rotten, then by all means get them out of your life. But I would be suprised if you find that was the majority rather than the minority. If you tend to be drawn to the same types of people that aren't the greatest of character, then maybe it is time to find out why and then change your lifestyle or approach. Good people ARE out there.

[Doh2007]

I also wish I'd known then what I know now. Congratulations. It sounds like you're growing. I was able to find new friends by taking a class.

[StarPonysMama]

It has been my experience that gut-instincts are best taken to heart. I have very few "friends" and many acquaintences. Good for you for listening to your gut more. Doh2007 has a good point - I did make alot of GOOD friends in college.

Looks like you will do fine. No reason to doubt yourself. Keep on truckin'.

[sabby]

Oh yes, the gut intuition will not fail you! And, T is right, it is not a judgement of another individual. Sometimes our guts will tell us to be careful and we don't exactly know why. But if we heed what our instinct is telling us, sooner or later the answer becomes very clear.

I never had a lot of close friends in my life. And like you, as I grew older, there seemed to be less and less. What I found was that I was in a "negative" space in my life. When I finally realized that, I changed how I thought and went to the positive side of everything. It was my nature to be positive, but for so long I denied it and was negative. Once I became more positive, it was easier to surround myself with those who were positive also! I was able to find more supportive and loving individuals to become friends with. It was an awesome feeling to find that again.

My mom used to tell me when I was young that I will have many acquaintances in my life. She said that if I went through life with one or two "good" friends that I was blessed. The older I get, the more I realize how right she was

I wish you well (((( UCLAfan )))) on your journey to find the right kind of friends for you!


sabby

[Irine]

close friend are rare. i agree. it`s like....i think that our human race is not developed yet. like it say in Conversations With God...espacially book 3. All these lies and pretending and gossip..i agree. i personally don`t enjoy being like that and after a while this hipocritical society is getting on your nerves.