lonelinss

This is hard for me to talk about. I guess no one wants to admit to feeling lonely. Well I've felt that way all my life. Like I dont relate to others, espically since I got dianosed with schizophrenia. You really dont know how terrible life can be til you get diagnosed with that. I just feel very alone and iscolated probably as a result of the illness. It has really set me back in life and I can't say I'm happy about that. So far I just been at home doing nothing really. My mom is a devout christian and she calls up my cousins who are now christain and talks about me with them. God knows what about really. But they dont have this problem. They are not socially awkward like me cus they have friends and can make freinds and relate to others. Me on the other hand feels so different from everybody. I dont feel people understand me or can relate. I always feel weired and awkward around people. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb in social situations. I hate being like this. If it hasn't been this its always been another thing. Social phobia , anxiety, depression, schizophrenia. Will it ever get better??

Hi, curious, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Do you have a therapist at all or see your psychiatrist/doctor who diagnosed you regularly? Maybe they know of a support group you can join. It has to be lonely, with your mom talking to others about you. Have you told her how that makes you feel?

I use to retreat into books which helped me forget how lonely I was a bit. I would try to get into some group with others who might understand and be potential friends.

Curious,

I am glad you joined us here at PC because this is one place you are not alone. There are wonderful people here with all kinds of issues and mental health conditions even schizophrenia.

I agree with Perna on the support group idea. Have you looked for one in your area at all? One place to start is Mental Health America. If you are in the US you can look up local mental health organizations in your area and go from there.

Welcome, curious. I'm glad you joined us... you're not alone here. There are many people here that understand what it's like to feel the way you do.

Honestly, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've never seen anyone (or heard) describe my own feelings so exactly. I feel alone when I am in a crowded room! Mostly because I'm fairly sure that pretty much no one on earth understands me and the way my brain works and the way I think and feel. Pretty much the only time I do relate (or at least can interact without having a panic attack) with others in when I am in a position where I know something that they don't (i.e. a teacher/pupil) type situation. Otherwise I feel extremely inadequate and very weird. Exactly like you said about the sore thumb. I've never even been able to wear make up or anything too attention getting because it makes me feel like I'm 10 feet tall with a spotlight over my head saying to everyone "LOOK AT ME!!", which is the last thing in the world I want.

You are not alone in the way that you feel. so many of us feel like that sometimes and for some of us its alot more often than not. I know how it feels, being trapped in your own head and like the world around you is a movie you are watching.. you need someone to talk to, and i know its not easy. I think you may start to feel better, even communicating with people online, who know how you feel, who understand because thay have been through or are going through the same thing.i was always very lonley when i was younger, painfully shy and just couldnt communicate. It just got better over time. i was alone in my head for years. but things got better, and i hope that thay will for you too. You didnt mention your age.. Its not until you reach your 30s that you know who you really are (well for me!)and your teenage years especially are a difficult time. Some find it easier than others..not me! but i got through it and i was ok, and stronger after the difficult times. communicate with others how you feel,like you have here. And can you try to talk to a therapist or even a kind relative or teacher? someone who will just listen to you without judging you. Good luck

Yep i CAN understand the way you may feel, and without having schysoprania.

But i see what you mean that your desease makes you feel that way. Among othees. But i am sure (as ....clinchy as it mayb seem) that you like anybody else have something unique and wounderful to express. which has nothing to do with your diagnosis.

I hope that here with us you wioll feel less lonely

Hi.
You stick out in social situations because you are withdrawn from them. If you want to blend in you have to be involved.

Easier said than done? Sure.

So what can you do? Start slow. All it takes to gain social skills is to take one step at a time.

First observe others. Look around at other peolpe and pick out qualities, personality quirks, things about them that you admire. Then try to emulate them. The more you do this the easier it gets.

Start with a smile and a hi. Practice on strangers. People in the store, on the bus, walking down the street. Quick interactions that build your confidence by repetition. Once you master that, then go from there. The best way to make people warm up to you and get their interest is to ask them about themselves. So get yourself a pen and paper and write down some questions that will draw people out. Then memorize them.

I can definitely relate here...

As an nontraditional student in a very traditional college setting I always feel like caca around all my peers. It goes beyond college for me too, I have few close friends but that is it. I think some people just aren't socialites. For me personally it takes a lot of understanding to be my friend and only a few will tolerate my difficulties. I am thankful for the friends I have though.

What I've recently been realizing here.....especially with the people here at PC is NOT everybody has to like me. A person automatically assumed because they are not social royalty that they are inadequate socially. This is a TV, media feed assumption...not reality.

You have to put yourself out there and let people in. Don't worry about pleasing them neither because a real friend will like you as you are, whether you're ill or not. Hang out with people who can relate to your struggles, for they'll understand.

You have to start somewhere. Don't be so hard on yourself, naturally everybody wants to feel they belong some place.

(((curious)))

Thank you everyone for your responses. It's comforting to know that I'm not that alone. I am involved in a psycho-social group at the hosptial but I find I feel like the wieredest one in the group. I just feel like everyone has it better than me. Even though we are all going through similar battles I feel like I am less than them. I feel that way with everybody because I feel everyone is smarter or just better than me. I am always aloof. I hate speaking up cus I find I sound so stupid or than people can see how "not cool" I am, in the sense that I stay quiet and put up a front so not to looke stupid and give too much away as to who I really am. I know that sounds stupid but I guess that's my defense mechansism to trying not to look out of place and just as equal to others. Anyways sorry for the babbling on.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm glad I shared this becasue I got such good support, and to know that people understand makes it a little easier to cope with.

I've been that way my whole life too a outsider looking in .Even though I've been with my wife for 23 years when i get really sick she just doesn't understand if anything she pushes me a way because she feels nothing she dose helps me feel better she gets scared .

But the day i joined a mental heath groups in my area was the greats !!! thing I could have ever down to help mental heath. To meet people like my self to finely fit in ! I know now that you can have a mental illness yet be smart , kind and good person . Because before i felt like a reject. Now i know I'm not thanks to all the friends I meet like my self I'm not . To hear one person after a other tell me my life story but its its it theirs .

Just like people go to AA or NA To find support We need to have the same support. Mental heath groups are much harder to find and are place in out of the way areas but we should be use to that type of treatment .

I myself at times feel lonely in a crowded room.I look at folks having fun with their friends.It makes me feel very lonely.Plus i feel like a loser.Some times i also feel like a 3rd wheel.