My dearest friend...

... Regularly sends me memes, funny videos and other such material, which I consider a waste of my time. I have taken to not responding with more than a thumbs up, hoping she would catch the drift, but so far, she continues. I can tell that she does it with her other girlfriends, because the messages show up as forwarded in Whatsapp. Should I continue doing what I am doing, i.e., not engaging with these messages, or should I tell her upfront that I value her friendship and am always glad to spend time with her, but do not care for what she sends around?

Maybe tell her you are trying to clean up your inbox and would like to "unsubscribe" from the funny memes list?

Boy, i didnt know people were still doing this. I did yell at my cousin wow about 20 years ago now? To stop sending me obama-bashing stuff. I reminded her she was an immigrant, for petes sake!

that is a smart move, to unsubscribe from the list. I will mention it, if the memes do not stop soon.

And you right, this is so early 2000s.

Is she a bit lonely? Is she sending them via text? I’d just delete after i sent thumbs up or smiley face.

I have a friend who sends me pics and details of some people whom i don’t know and who aren’t even her relatives. Like kids and grandkids (and their friends ) and details of their lives of her brother’s girlfriend. I usually say awe how cute and then delete.

She’s a lovely person and I think she’s a bit lonely. Maybe it makes her feel good to send those. I can deal with it

My friend isn't lonely. She has a worldwide circle of friends and is a very busy grandmother on top of her full time job at a startup no less. That is why I am surprised she has time for those. She sends them via Whatsapp.

That sounds like my cousin. My armchair diagnosis is a false sense of self-importance masking insecurity, to put it nicely! Boy SOMEBODY got up on the wrong side of the bed today!

Another option is to not reply. Instead, on a less frequent schedule, send her genuine written messages that she'd appreciate. I do this with my daughter's partner.

SPG, I think this tip is easiest for me to implement. Basically to not even thumbs up, to stop doing even that. And I do send her genuine messages, yes, from time to time.

Got you.

It was just my thought based on my experience with some people, sometimes people are busy and involved in many things, but still lonely. Like they aren’t alone but lonely. But obviously i am wrong about this lady

My dad used to send me endless you tube videos, I ignored them. I talk to and see my dad regularly and of course reply to his texts, but not to his texts with you tube videos. He kept commenting how it’s rude to not reply. I still wouldn’t. Only communicate about everything else. No you tube video lol

Guess what happened. He stopped sending them 🤣 Well he started sending them to my brother. lol but it stopped being my problem 🤣

Maybe she is still lonely, but it is beyond me, as two of her granddaughters, her daughter and son-in-law all live together and the younger girl is a newborn. Lots of work, you would think? No time to spare, you would think?

There may be more at work than loneliness, which isn't trivial. But this could be insecurity, anxiety and / or some other mood or mental syndrome that hasn't been defined yet. Good luck!

Only mention something to her if you know that she won’t get defensive & take things to personally.

If you think that there’s any chance that she might get upset at you for setting boundaries, then just ignore her memes from now on.

Don’t even give it a thumbs up as that will only cause her to think that you like the jokes & memes she sent you.

Sometimes things like this can be a way of seeking or maintaining connection. She may be very busy in her family life but wanting to keep those friendship connections going and this is a way she knows how to. I personally wouldn’t say anything but wouldn’t react and if it bothered me I’d mute the conversation.

That is quite possible. That these quick videos are her way to keeping connected.

I cannot mute the conversation, though, as she might reach out about, say, going to the movies together, and I would not want to miss that. Also, we have seasons tickets together and the season is about to start. So there are legitime reasons for me to write to her or for her to write to me.