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#1
May 05, 2008, 08:58 PM
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When, after trying every way you know how to make a relationship better, even searching for new ways, after begging for the other person to get help with their issues to no avail, after enduring the pain they've inflicted over and over, there comes a day when you have to admit to yourself that they will never feel the same way about you, that they will never be the person you want or need.
I love my husband more than I have loved any other man in my life. The day I married him, I handed myself to him, mind, body and soul. I gave him my trust, my friendship, my soul. He broke my trust, turned to others for friendship, and his selfishness and inconsiderate behavior have left a hole in my soul. That being said, it has to be over. When you know that the other person won't try to change, or when they are incapable of it, and all the future holds is more of the same behavior, more hurt for you, it's time to give up. I have given up. |
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#2
May 05, 2008, 09:10 PM
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((((((wounded))))))))
im so sorry to hear that youre going through this. its so much better to enjoy life than to live miserable. i hope you find happiness 
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#3
May 05, 2008, 09:16 PM
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((((((((((((( wounded )))))))))))))))))
 I'm sorry that you are going through this situation, I hope you find happiness in your life, you deserve it, everybody does.
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#4
May 05, 2008, 10:24 PM
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((((((((((((( wounded1 )))))))))))))))))))
Such a harsh and difficult realization to come to. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Hopefully in time, you will be able to see that you had done everything in your power to make the relationship work. You cannot make someone do anything they are not willing to do. The only control you have is over yourself.....and now it's time to take care of #1. I too am going through a breakup of my marriage. I understand the greiving, the loss, the anger, and even the fear, and how my mind can accept it's over, but my heart refuses to let go just yet (if ever). I wish you well....and I hope you are able to take time for you and be good to yourself....you deserve it! sabby |
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#5
May 06, 2008, 10:01 AM
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It's hard to have a relationship with someone who isn't trying. Can you find a therapist to help you go through this?
Best wishes |
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#6
May 06, 2008, 10:20 AM
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hi wounded,
big hugs to ya, cause i totally understnd where you are coming from. my husband is a bipolar alcoholic. when we married almost 7 yrs ago we both were confident that we had the kind of love and understanding of each other that would last us a life time. BOY was we wrong!!! 2 yrs ago after he was robbed at gun point and shot at, he went into a real dark place that i just couldn't understand or help him out. after several unsettling incidents and he started drinking everyday, i finally got him to seek help and BPD it was. i try and try and after his bipolar diagnosis in feb 08 but he has pushed me away, closed me out totally and made me his #1 enemy. i'm not sure why because i have never done anything for him to be so rude, inconsiderate, belligerant and hateful towards me. i use all my free time studying up and seeking info on his bipolar so i can help, support and encourage him to want to get balanced and come out of that prison bottle and live again. sometimes i think he's testing my loyalty and love but then i think he really wants nothing but to jump in a bottle of beer. either way i keep trying to stay strong, positive and consistant for him. omg it hurts and gets so hard sometimes and i want to run like forrest gump lol  there is no support groups in our area and our finances are in the tank (due to his mania spending) and the odds are stack against us but silly me still has a glimmer of hope for him and us. there is a country song, not sure who sings it but there's a line that says "loving a man shouldn't hurt this bad" that says so much and hit's home for me. good luck and God bless you wounded, and i hope you find happiness in whatever choice you make. take care of you, chiwawa mom aka rayla
__________________
Goal: to connect with others and learn about BP. please don't be strangers... |
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#7
May 06, 2008, 12:04 PM
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Holy *****, good job for realizing it's over. BTW I don't believe in 'handing' yourself to anyone, you should be able to enjoy life and the relationship without investing more than you are willing to lose. I guess sometimes it is hard to know exactly what you have invested, though.
__________________
Athlaos the Conquistador “Nice guys do finish first.” – Ed Stelmach "Show everyone how spectacular you are despite the choices you did not make." - Athlaos |
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#8
May 06, 2008, 12:54 PM
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My heart goes out to you.
__________________
"Life is short, you get one shot, make it count." ~ Yours Truly |
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