[sillyfish72]

I met a very sweet guy and fell in love with him. He says he feels the same way although he never said "i love you" to me. Problem is, he has a gf for 2 years and i believe they were best friends also and known each other for 3 years already. We know each other for barely 2 months. Yes, we are having sex. We can't resist each other. He had sex with his gf only once last year and we do it more often. I tried to leave coz I don't wanna destroy a relationship. But it's hard everytime and the relationship continues. Today, I finally made a decision to end the "illicit affair" and I hope I can stand with that decision. My heart hurts bad now. Bleeding. Am i right or am I wrong of letting him go?

[(JD)]

He doesn't sound unavailable, I mean, in what way? He's has 2 girl friends. If you have a problem with that, then yes, leave. You only know each other for 8 weeks and you are expecting what from this relationship? Is there a relationship if you don't engage in sexual relations? Just thoughts to help, I hope. Good wishes.

[sillyfish72]

Thanks for your reply. He is unavailable in a way that he has a gf before I came. The way I understand with our "relationship" now is that I am not really his gf although he says he likes me and even told me that he feels love for me. I am confused between what my heart and my mind say coz they are different. This is also beside the fact that he is 13 years younger than me. He is just 22. Am I so bad?

[MyBestKids2]

Pardon the pun, I don't mean to sound dismissing but it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too!

Wish you peace as you work through this very difficult situation

[wounded1]

Here's a question sillyfish72: what are you looking for from this guy? If it's a "feel good" thing, can you feel good about yourself knowing that you are part of a lie that's hurting someone else (his GF)? Or are you looking for some sort of commitment? If you are, do you honestly think this guy is capable of a true, honest commitment? He sounds like a liar and cheat to me...

There's nothing wrong with a casual, consenting sexual relationship between two adults, but when there's a third person who is not aware that they are sharing the person they love, it's cheating, and an ugly thing.

Sorry to be so harsh, but I've been that GF, and it hurts like hell when you find out you've been lied to.

[Doh2007]

That's really nice of you to give him free sex with no responsibility. Who wouldn't love that?

[katiescarlett]

I was in love with a guy who had a wife. He told me he loved me early on. But apparently, he told her he loved both of us. Honestly, if I knew half of what I know now, I would have just cut all ties. All the promises were just lies. We married. Only 2 years in, if I ask for help, I ask to play a game, I suggest intimacy, it is always "maybe" "later" or "tomorrow" I have learned that maybe actually means NO! And later and tomorrow never come. The only thing that seems to go on is watching sports, eating and sleeping. I am no longer important. I tried discussing it with him, but it is like talking to a wall. He says it's all my fault. Well when someone choses just about anything to do but listen to you or communicate, or intimacy, all I can do is wonder what is wrong with me....how did I become invisable...leave this man now if he hasn't made up his mind he may never do it,

[Clandestine]

Hey sillyfish72, one of my close friends is in your situation right now, as in exactly the same situation. She ended the "affair" and remained just friends with the guy and it turned out better.

I might be harsh, but physical intimacy in kind of crucial in a relationship and perhaps he enjoys it with you. But hey, if he's fine with that, and you're fine with that, then so be it. ;]

But remember, there's another party involved - the GF. So yeah. ;]

Goodluck with your situation and I hope better things come along.

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>

[nothemama8]

remember if he's playing around on gf, he's probably playing around on you