Lonliness For Me Seems Unavoidable

I've met someone recently. He is completely inappropriate and already involved in a long-term commited relationship. We have exchanged emails and gone for long wooded walks....under the banner of 'friendship.' Some of the emails are romantic but some are quite platonic. Conversations are wonderfully funny, challenging, stimulating and comfortable. He is a beautiful soul and he can read my mind.
Until today, I was able to maintain the pretense of 'friendship' but this afternoon, a dozen white, long-stemmed roses came to my door.

That's not a 'friendship' gift is it? I don't know what to say or how to address this.
See, I have baggage. So much baggage that I drag a caboose the size of Texas around behind me just to house it all.
The ink on my divorce decree is 3 days old. I have very little self-esteem or confidence but I give the impression that I have lots. I can't stand the way I look since I've gained weight because of the stress of the last year. God I hate cellulite. I have little trust in men since being abused in childhood and a bad marriage.
Those are just MY hang-ups. He has a girlfriend, a long-time one. He has a role in my life right now that renders him completely untouchable.
Someone talk to me about this. I'm not used to this kind of complication. I have only had one man in my life and that was my ex-husband. I dated in highschool but it was frivolous and superficial dating. I met my ex-husband when I was 17 and stayed with him until he left me for another woman.
I'm not on Sex in the City, I have no idea how to think, let alone how to act here.
Any advice would be appreciated so much. PM me if you like. I'm so out of touch with relationship reality.
thanks
angel

Oh, gosh, ya got me. I'm alone after 15 years with a guy. I'm absolutely clueless and I'm pretty intimidated about the M-F thing.

I think he is giving you a kind of mixed signal here. I know that the colors of roses are supposed to have specific meanings -- I would presume that white indicates the chasteness of the relationship and he wanted to show you how much he thought of you. Still, I would have a very hard time not reading a lot into it.

I hope others will be able to suggest how to get the balance you need here.

Hi, Angel04,

I agree with Ozzie, this is a time to be cautious, although it is sooo flattering to have the attention and that must be upsetting for you. I think that we all want to be loved and it's hard to turn anything away when you're already feeling lonely.

Does your new friend know your history, and where you are emotionally at the moment?

Take care, Myzen

Hi, Angel.

I'm about to give you the worst advice ever. Maybe I should ask for forgiveness in advance?

I am in love with love. I love love. Love is the ultimate experience for me and the reason for everything in this life. The ultimate drug, one that plays with my chemicals more than any illegal or legal substance I can get my hands on.

Therefore when you talk about long-stem white roses I can only smile and see the beauty of such gesture. I'm also a romantic fool, I hope that's alright with you :-)

There's so many different ways to feel and experience love and it's never too late to learn new ways of feeling and dealing with it, with its power so overwhelming.

I hope you can try something new while still preserving your self.

Love+Empathy

Thanks Wants2fly, Ozzie, Myzen. You're all right and I know it. I wish I could hold on to the friendship somehow though. It is so great being able to converse with someone that is so comfortable and easy. I love it too. My mind works so efficiently and in such new ways when I get to just sit and talk with him.
*sigh*

Ah saudade, I envy your outlook and ideals. I only wish my practical and ethical nature could be over-ridden. If I could walk away from my morals and ethics, I'd fall into heaven with this man but I just can't. I was abandoned by a man for another woman and I cannot do that to anyone else. Sometimes doing the 'right' things hurts alot.

Dear Angel!

I would be very careful to get involved. But having said that, when a heart is bruised and hurting the most natural thing in the world is to reach out to someone who could comfort you. The old saying: ' In order to heal a broken heart, fall in love again'.

This guy has a hidden agenda. Be careful you do not get hurt again.

Sometimes a person can be more lonely being with someone than being on your own.

I've never heard this saying about healing a broken heart by falling in love again. Are you sure it isn't "If you want to get a over a dog that just died, get a puppy"?

What I usually hear is to avoid relationships on the rebound.