[RozG]

Sorry if this wrong place to put this...apologies to any mod who has to move it...andmaybe I shouldn't put it anywhere's coz I've no support to folks the past few weeks but I'm driving myself nuts here...and a lotta other folks too.

Not sure how to explain this so sorry if i ramble or make no sense!

This neighborhood I live in now...never lived anywhere this long. Took years to get used to being settled, took a long time to learn it was ok to trust folks. But I never really had folks there for me before...not long term...coz I've always moved around a lot from birth till a few years ago. Like easy come easy go ya know?

Anyways, there's one thing I always do when folks start getting too close...I back off, withdraw, isolate. If folks persist...jeez thiis is gonna make me sound like a total *****...I push them away on purpose, hurt them if needs be so they get the message.

Ok, I can't keep doing this...and the rare occassions I've spoke to somebody IRL...like my doctor...all I get is...it's part of my mental health problems, coz of the way I grew up etc (ok, I'll give her that one, grew up in a cult where contact with outsiders was disallowed and that included schooling)...but there has to be a way to stop myself doing this?

Any advice would be most welcome...even a slap upside a head would be most atm...lol

peace, love to all

[I_WMD]

Roz ,, Ya got it in ya to have more smiles and less frowns >>> I 'm pulling for ya My Friend and take that as an automatic .. hope ya can chat with me again soon ,, I mean we logged in errrrrrrmmmm [ looks at notepad ] 288 hours .... 12 hrs. shy of a record hehe,, and I was wanting to get to 1000 hours . LOL .

Keep yourself safe and do what works for you .

I_WMD.

Roz, i cant give any advice, just know you are not alone .... I push people away too .....

Shall we hook up and bog off to a foreign land together or wot

and BTW .... you wont get rid of me easily lmao ..... Jin xoxoxoxoxo

[RozG]

LMAO WMD...we near broke a record??? now breaking that would make me laugh lmao...an ya knows where ta find me lol

ty for caring

[RozG]

lol Kerry....i'd worry if i got rid of you that easy....

maybe an island eh?

love and huggies xxx

[I_WMD]

sits .

Roz... IRL you say... yes... but talking here or through IM is IRL too in a way. You've listened to me and my worries... given constructive suggestions and been a wonderful friend. I know you don't want to open up too much or to let people get too close to you... but still - I must say that I think you've told me about private things... not too much and not too little. I know it's easier to talk online and no one really knowing who you are and where you live... but still- you've talked about YOU and your situation and that can be hard no matter online or "IRL".
You're on your way, Roz. One step at a time... To let someone in looking that person in the eye is scary when you're not used to it... but try to be patient with yourself and don't force yourself to rush it. There's a time for everything.
I believe in you!

[50guy]

Roz,
Cults are tough to recover from. I was in one for 10 years. I was finally able to break away fully and I still have a hard time when I see those people. I have some family members on my DW's side that to this day don't talk to us because of our break from the cult. This is 17 years later.

I think that your pushing people away is related to your experience and you don't trust people because of it. I know I wouldn't ever trust a member of the cult again, no matter who they are.

Good luck to you and have a great day.

[RozG]

((((((Nina))))))

thank you, i hadn't thought of it that way. i am taking small steps every day, i just have some days where i freak myself a little but i know i will get there.

thank you for the support you have given me.

[RozG]

guy....

thank you for sharing. i don't know you but it helps to know others been there too.

thanx for replying.

peace & love to you,
roz
xx