Overreacting to an injury

I ran over my friend with the boat trailer on accident (no boat on the trailer). Sunday. The trailer fell off of the boat ramp and me had to lift it up. He told me to go and I did. He slipped and fell on the algae on the boat ramp and the trailer went over him. He did get injured.....but not really really bad.

Large laceration on a strange spot on the kneecap.

10 stitches. Pain meds given.

Family is out of town so I took up a little slack of taking care.

Totally blowing this out of proportion. Every single movement constitues an ooh ahh and an ouch. I was asked if I wanted to see it this morning while he was changing the bandage (which also constitutes an ooh and ouch every second). My response was "no - not really". It was only about 7:45 am and I was about to leave for work.

The friend is Male.....not sure if that makes any difference.

After I did not want to see it he was then infuriated and said I was talking to him like a child and I did not care about his feelings. Basically got into a HUGE argument and I left. His last thing he said was, "I'll take care of my damn self!". I apologized for being condescending but explained that I did not think I was. I just said, No I dont want to see it.

Just wandering if I am being cold or insensitive. I've helped him move his leg when he asks, took him to the ER, give him pain meds when he needs them, what else? Must I also wait hand and foot. Not gonna happen. Not for me who 6 months ago cut an artery in my ankle and had to go to work less than a week later. I mean I know it hurts but MY BEJESUS - how sympathetic am I supposed to be????

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StarPonysMama said:

The friend is Male.....not sure if that makes any difference.



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yes, it makes a difference. i can't tell you how many times i have taken care of hubby, father, male friends, etc. when i was as sick/injured or worse then they were.

sorry this happened to you, and to him. and sorry guys if i have offended anyone. my male gyn once told me that he had never met a man who would be able to withstand the pain of childbirth.

lost

If no one else is around yet, I'd be a bit more attentive. People respond to pain differently; and it's not necessarily a guy thing, that's a bit stereotypical/condescending right there :-) He's an individual you hurt; see him through the hurt. Knees are important; I don't know what the "strange spot" is but he could have all sorts of trouble with that knee/be crippled in 20-30 years because of this hit (I have trouble with one of mine now at 57 because I fell on mine 2-3 times in my "youth" :-)

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Osteoarthritis of the knee usually occurs in knees that have experienced trauma, infection, or injury.

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From: http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00228

There was no bone damage. Xrays were clear.

It was a large cut on the top of the kneecap. It was about 2 inches long. Clean cut. They would have butterfly stripped it with no stitches but - where it kind of is on the joint - I think they wanted to stitch it to keep it together.

I suppose I compared it to myself. I cut an ARTERY in my right ankle in Novemember. I too, had 10 stitches and had I totally severed the artery would have had to have surgery.

I didn't mope, or moan and whine and vent. I just plopped comfortably on the couch and propped it up. It swelled up to 3x's it size and I still got my butt up and went to work. This injury is not that bad. My mother is a nurse and also had bad knees so I understand what you say Perna but this was a small aluminum boat trailer. He's flipped 2 racecar's before this so I'm sure that could inflict some injury more so than a light aluminum boat trailer - although I am no medical expert. It was light and while I am sure the sheer trauma was unnerving for both of us. I just did what I was told to do. I even asked, "Are you sure you want me to go?"

I talked to a good friend who shed some light. Another male friend and his take on it was while I'm a "take care of myself" kinda person - not all people are that way. He's a dependent and I did not see that before but I do now.

I've made it where he can't stay at my house. He will have to MOPE elsewhere. He's not helpless.

I suppose some people need more support than others. Maybe I'm just not that sympathetic.

Talked to my T about it - she said some people are just plain pathetic when they get injured. Don't know. I've never been that way so perhaps thats why I don't understand it and can't deal with it.

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thelostone said:
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StarPonysMama said:

The friend is Male.....not sure if that makes any difference.



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my male gyn once told me that he had never met a man who would be able to withstand the pain of childbirth.

lost

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The other male friend I consulted says it could be the same thing. he fessed up that he could not see himself withstanding the pain of childbirth and that it very well could be that women are just a little more pain tolerant in general. So I guy fessing up to it helped me out a little. At least gives me some explanation.

I believe its a pain threshold kind of thing I know I have a low pain threshold and hubby has a high one. He could give birth easier than me anyday.

You didn't run over him; he slipped and fell under the trailer as you were helping him move it.

(((Doh2007)) Needed that. Thanks.

my male gyn once told me that he had never met a man who would be able to withstand the pain of childbirth.

lost

I have heard this too, but from an orthopedist. I asked if I was complaining too much about a back injury. He said it probably hurt more than I was letting on; that nature has protected women for childbirth (something I've never done btw) by giving us higher pain tolerance. So yes, your friend is being a big baby. But pretend he is not and put up with it -- because you are glad that he isn't threatening to sue you in our sue-happy world.

He couldn't sue me for anything. I owe on all I got. He can sue the state of florida for the %#@&#! poor boat ramp that was unsafe.