[Tiirikka]

Hi...
I have a little problem with my father. Sometimes we do understand each other very well and so on but sometimes it's so disturbing to spend time with him.
I think he sometimes thinks I'm just a girl that doesn't understand anything. So if I don't answer immediately what he asks or asks me to do, he repeats the question and starts to explain almost every single word in the sentence. I don't know if all the females (or why not males, too) feel the same when he's there but I'd like to show him I really am not an idiot. I don't know if he's joking all the time, but anyway it hurts. Always saying how to do the things. He thinks he's always right.
I don't know how to show my brain and ability of doing things...
Has someone any ideas??
What to do in this situation?

[wanttoheal]

Can you tell him that he is hurting your feelings by doing that? If so, that would be my approach. Maybe you could write it down and give it to him if you are unable to say it out loud?

I'm sorry he is hurting your feelings. It would hurt mine too if someone did that to me.

[Doh2007]

You are not who he thinks you are. It would be nice if he were more polite and patient. But the way he treats people reflects on him, not you. It would be nice to have his approval, but it wouldn't change who you are, just the relationship.

I think there are lots of ways to address this. Even if he doesn't listen, I agree that it's important to tell him how you feel. This is for you, not him.

If he won't hear you, you could try laughing and saying, "Yeah, I'm a moron." That's a very smart thing to say. It turns things around to his habit of treating people like they aren't very smart. But it also shows that you accept him, kind of like, "There you go again Dad."

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Tiirikka --

Bringing up our parents sure can be challenging. I would never put myself down by calling myself a moron, even in jest. But I like the "There you go again" line a lot.

Another thing that my T taught me to do was to praise my mother extravagantly whenever she behaved in more supportive ways (she was unintentionally critical). So whenever she said anything even mildly supportive, I would tell her how much I appreciated it. Rewarding her positive behavior really turned things around.

If you can find even tiny little times when your dad shows you respect, perhaps it would help to use this technique of telling him you really like it when he treats you that way.

[Tiirikka]

Thank you all, really, I appreciate your advice and support.
Tomorrow I try to do something for this. I prefer showing him he's wrong some other way than telling it straight. Maybe it would even be no use.
Thanks, fellas.