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  #1  
Old Aug 09, 2008, 09:22 PM
SophiaG's Avatar
SophiaG SophiaG is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: North East USA
Posts: 1,427
so i met this girl on Second Life and she and I hit it right off. She told me some deep stuff about her I told her some deep stuff about me. She is 26 and i am 19.

Lately i've been talking to her every night but i am getting the feeling that she doesnt want to talk anymore and I am a little tense around her because I so respect her so much and care about what she thinks. I feel naive/insecure because i am 19 and am afraid that she wont understand me. We havent been talking about deep stuff lately. It's like she has shut me out.

Tonight i gave her my number and i got the vibe from her that she felt uncomfortable about it because she signed off right after i gave it to her.

I feel stupid now for caring so much about a friend. She is just a friend but i feel hurt. Like i've done something wrong and i keep thinking to myself "Stupid...stupid....why did u care so much?"

I am beating myself up over it. -_-

What does everyone else think about this?
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“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron

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  #2  
Old Aug 10, 2008, 02:48 PM
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SophiaG SophiaG is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: North East USA
Posts: 1,427
eh i want to delete this post now but it says i cant. haha. great :/
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“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron
  #3  
Old Aug 10, 2008, 05:26 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
It's all right, Sophia, don't think we'll drop you here!

It's not like we can choose who we love/care about? You really like this girl and would like her to like you! There's nothing at all wrong with that. However, the other person gets to be part of the getting to know each other situation too and, for whatever reason (which has nothing to do with you, is all her) she has maybe decided to not have such a deep relationship. It's too bad of her not to discuss it with you though, but that can be hard to do and a lot of people feel bad, just because the friendship vibes don't feel right to them. She could be feeling intimidated by you for all we know! You could be the stong person and she more afraid she can't be who she would like to be. Or, you could remind her of herself at your age and maybe that scares her as she might have had a hard time then and is afraid it will "come back".

I'd keep in casual touch with her and look around and see who else you can find on Second Life; it's a big place! Do you have a job and apartment, etc. there yet? Work on that maybe? But if you stay "constant" and just friendly, maybe she'll be more engaging over time as she sees you're just a "regular" nice person :-)
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Thanks for this!
SophiaG
  #4  
Old Aug 10, 2008, 09:41 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,628
friendship gone too far friendship gone too far friendship gone too far friendship gone too far
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Thanks for this!
SophiaG
  #5  
Old Aug 12, 2008, 12:00 PM
chiz chiz is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2006
Posts: 51
Maybe it was just a matter of miscommunication. Maybe she felt that you delved much in her personal life. When you talk to her next time, talk about something more general first until she opens the topic of a more personal one. But don't feel too hard on this one, you haven't lost a friends yet. Just try to keep in touch with her.

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Thanks for this!
SophiaG
  #6  
Old Aug 12, 2008, 10:55 PM
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bextar bextar is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2008
Posts: 10
Im ashamed to admit that I have done this to someone else recently. I met him online and I was suffering emotionally, I didnt tell him the whole truth because he was very interested in me. I wanted to kep the interest. While I needed him, he was there made me feel loved and valued and listened to, what a great guy.

but when i felt i had told him so much deep stuff about myself that he couldnt possibly want me, i stopped communicating. I know it hurt him, but i couldnt help it at the time.

We are back in contact again, but it is not so intense which is a good thing, that level of intensity cant go on day in an day out. well i dont think so.

Dont know if this will help, just give some space.
Thanks for this!
SophiaG
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