Covert Spousal Disrespect

How does one deal with covert spousal disrespect?

well, not to be rude, but honesty is always the best policy i think? of course they say there is an exception to every rule...

covertness is very damaging to the psyche... a shadow of guilt overhangs every decision.. from there, a relationship spirals quickly into the opposite of what it was intended to be...

a relationship which 'pushes' one into covert behavior is highly dysfunctional imo and very toxic to all who come into contact with it... good people are sometimes convinced to 'cover' for the original defector...

I guess, I need to clarify. I am not being dishonest, or disrespectful. I am experiencing, the unowned disrespect, and, I am seeking an effective way to deal with it.

I would say the best way to deal with it is to put it right out on the table when you discover it. It's on the individual who is covertly dishing it out to own up to, accept responsibility and explain.

Just remember that you personally cannot make someone be honest and forthright if they don't wish to be. You can call an individual on their behavior but in the end, it's up to you how you will deal with it. One must be prepared to hear denials and excuses which may be thrown back at you. Calmness on your part would be the best way to go through it. Being prepared will also help you keep your calm and help you decide where to go from there in the relationship.

Wishing you well!


sabby

I agree with bring it out on the table. I would do this in a semi public setting, like in a restaurant that wat an outburst can be avoided.
I would calmly ask why he feels it necessary to disrespect me in the manner that he does and how can it change. You need to stop the disrespect and belittling toward you before it become overt.
Does he love you? Do you love him? Try to find out why he acts this way toward you. Does he have friends that are this way toward their spouses? There is a reason for his behavior and you need to find it out now before it develops into a nasty situation and becomes mentally or physically abusive.

Good luck to you,

How did you come to the erroneous conclusion, I was female? I am not offended, or annoyed. I am just searching for answers.