Judging = Disrespect = Rejection

I am sorry you are hurting Time0 I do not judge you ...I think you rock in fact

fer sure dudette

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Fuzzy

Dear Time,

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

So SORRY to hear that you are hurting due to another....

I do NOT judge anyone, I leave that to the man upstairs.... it is my job to spread unconditional love to all that I meet, friends & enemies a like .

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

it is easy to understand how one could feel bummed if one lived by the equation you have in the subject line. we can see how you believe that to be true based on what you've shared on board over time. however we do not find that equation to be true for us or for our lives.

we hope that you'll continue challenging your thoughts as your awareness of when APD is distorting things grows.

we had to learn with major depression that more often than not our thoughts about ourselves weren't valid or based in any reality that mattered. the disease would have us believing we're worthless and useless. we know both of those things are false.........now. it took many years of therapy, meds and lots of self work to get to the point where we do not automatically believe what thoughts are in our head.

we hope you'll get to that point too eventually. slowly you've grown and changed and done things to better your life. keep on keepin' on sweetie.

For me, I feel that judging is very similar to disrespect. Do we really have the right to judge others? Especially when we surely know that our judgements will hurt? I think not....

I am also learning and growing... and also have moments of irrational thought and anger when triggered!!!!!

Fuzzy

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said:
For me, I feel that judging is very similar to disrespect. Do we really have the right to judge others? Especially when we surely know that our judgements will hurt? I think not....

I am also learning and growing... and also have moments of irrational thought and anger when triggered!!!!!

Fuzzy

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> the thing that we were expanding on from time0's post was that her awareness of her thought process being distorted was a major step in changing how painful some thoughts can be.

with your post above we'd merely ask how you "know" your judgements will hurt? we're not suggesting that you're not able to accurately gauge a situation but how often are you aware that your APD might, just might, be distorting the things you "know"?

it is never easy to admit we're not able to trust our own minds or thought process but will disease/disorder we often MUST learn different ways or else remain stuck in pain and misery. that's why baby steps of growth add up to leaps and bounds. it may not seem important or large at the time but a year down the road to be able to clearly see how far one has come and what positive growth one has achieved is so valuable.

we hope you continue to work toward returning to professional help eventually as that has been something you go back and forth on in posts. perhaps the experiences of others in the UK that aren't through the NHS will help you continue with your baby steps toward healing.

thanks for offering the opinion of someone with APD....that helps the board at large better understand some of what you experience and why your reactions are as they are.

I thought that Time0's original post was referring to judgement from others!

I have personally found that people with APD are generally amongst the kindest most caring people, as they know (due to their own sensitivity) how much harsh judgements from others can hurt.

You are correct that professional help would help me to identify my thought distortions, thanks for the continued pointer!

I am trying.....

Fuzzy

sweet (((((((((((time0))))))))))))))

i'm sorry that i just saw this.

much love,

KD

I am sorry if I didn't understand your post.,...I do care about you and like you though

Thank you!

the only way we're able to speak about distorted thoughts and thought processes is from having lived them!! it is only from years of living with a brain that we haven't always been able to fully trust that we empathize with how difficult it must be to have these thoughts. it is especially hard when we sometimes know rationally they might not be correct but that does little for the emotional side of things.

being sensitive to the feelings of others can be a wonderful gift but it is important to learn how to protect and assert oneself first and take one's own feelings into account before becoming Atlas with the world on yer shoulders.

this isn't easy stuff fuzzy and trying is all one can do. keep at it as life is worth finding whatever it is that works best for you and makes you happiest. only the bear knows what the bear wants and needs.

((fb))

like yer siggy says: <font color="#000088"> We cannot control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails. </font>

we know you've been learning how to become an adept sailor after all these years. stay the course and take necessary measures to weather any stormy seas.

namaste

That's what I'm doing. I'm setting my sail!

Thank you for trying to understand in this post.

Take care,
Fuzzy

Hi TimeO. I love you signature We cannot control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails. I am a sailor myself but the phrase hits home. Can I use it in the future?...lol