Furious and don't know how to handle this is a calm way....

I am so frustrated and angry with my mother. First she tells me that she is going to support my choice regarding to the pregnacy no matter what it was but she went back on her word. She said she would support me and she's not doing that which really really makes me pissed. I think it took a lot of guts to do this and I know it was the right thing to do and shes just so mad at me for getting an abortion. The morning I went and got it my friend picked me up and took me and I just told her I was going to hang out with her and she follwed us without us knowing and when I got home she interigated me and was like where were you and I told what I did and she was so mad. She was like I can't beilive you would do that and expecially without talking it through with me or your father or your theripist. I just wanted to punch her becuase she wasent doing what she said she was going to do. Sunday we went to family therapy and she would barely talk to me. She tried apoligizing to me once but I'm not forgiving her and now were avoding each other at all cost. I have no idea what do....you could cut the tension with a knife. Is she reacting the right way or the wrong way???
Please someone help i'm so pissed and don't know what to do.
Any advice would be greatly greatly apriciated.
Thanks
CountryMusicGurl

edited to add trigger icon

Can you take her with you to see the family therapist again? Maybe your therapist can help mediate and create the space you need to talk and listen to each other. It may take a few sessions before you are both able to communicate with each other.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Is she reacting the right way or the wrong way???

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It sounds like there has been some progress--she has changed her mind and tried to apologize to you. This sounds good to me. Maybe look inside yourself and see what you want from her now. The damage is done--she followed you and spied on you and was not supportive when she said she would be. But now she is sorry. What do you want? Maybe you just need more time to allow yourself to accept her apology.

i'm am sorry you are going through this country. i can imagine that it was a difficult decision to make and it would help to have a support system. how old are you? if you don't mind me asking. i hope that you and your mom can work through this. i agree with sun that you should discuss it again with the family therapist. it may help to get it all out in the open. don't hold back, express your feelings. hopefully your mom will take the cue and will discuss her feelings openly as well so that you can clear the air on the situation.

I totaly get why you are so angry with your mom. I think it would help if you will imagine yourself in her place and see how she might have felt about you having an abortion.

It seems to me that she was worried about your safety for one thing when she got all upset about your going to do this without your parents being involved. If you live at home it seems she should have been the one to take you. Also, she may have had much more intense feelings about this situation than she expected and found it much harder to BE supportive. She also may have mixed feelings and regrets because this child would have been her grandchild.

I'm not trying to excuse your mom, I'm just old enough to know that people are more complicated than we wish and they sometimes are very conflicted over situations. I do know that she loves you and wants what's best for your life.

I hope you can get to a point of forgiveness with your mom. My mom is dead and I wish many times that I still had a mom.

Leslieann

It sounds like you want more control over your life. It's so smart that your family goes to therapy. Somehow Mom needs to get the message that you still need her love and support, but also need her to let you grow up and take responsibility for your own life. Being a mother doesn't come with an instruction manual, unfortunately.

I wish you peace and forgiveness.

Well, the way I see it......you were old enough to get pregnant ...you're old enough to make some decisions.

Maybe she feels some guilt. Maybe she feels like it's kind of her fault that you had the abortion b/c if she had taught you better........you wouldn't have gotten pregnant in the 1st place. On the other hand, if she's laying the blame on you - that's just wrong.

Yes, it takes alot of courage to do what you did. I had an abortion at 17 years old because I was scared to death that if I told my mother then she would hate me. So, I went and did it with her never knowing. Don't know if she knows til this day.

The important thing for you to remember - no matter whether your mom supports you or not.....is to ALWAYS use birth control and do your absolute best to prevent the same thing from happening again. Double up if you must!

I use the Nuva Ring and it's pretty awesome - you just forget about it!

You must be having a TON of emotions now..........My heart goes out to you girl....hang in there.........life does get better.