Why is he behaving like a child?

Grrr.
Ok, when we started dating, he was wooeing me like Romeo with Juliet. I told him to just treat me like a person, not a queen, not a princess, just a person.
Well, he has gone WAY over to the other side, treating me like I say nothing important, DO nothing worthwhile, and pretty m uchmaking me feel like a trivial appendage that he could easily do without.

When I brought the subject up today, he came right out and said "I want to deflect the conversation, lets talk about me!"

Everytime I have tried to talk openly and honestly about my concerns, he acts like if he changes the subject, I'll just forget about it. He never wants to confront the problem.
I had enough of burying my feelings when I was married and I won't do it anymore.
Should I just dump him and move on to someone who is open and understanding, or is there some way to change his behaviour to deal with the problems instead of forcibly turning a blind eye?
It is very annoying.
Any advice? I'd love to hear a male point of view too.
thanks
Tina

well he was trying really hard in the beggining to "catch you" and now that he has you guys tend to not work as hard because they figure they don't need to put in all that hard work to keep you. how wrong they are! the same thing happened with my ex... and that is why he's now my ex! I hope it turns out better for you! *hugs*

Well, I have learned you can't change someone, and what's hard, is when you love them so much and you want them to change for you and for the relationship, and they don't. If you're not happy now, I can't imagine things getting better for the precise reason SK had mentioned - he's got you - he doesn't have to try anymore. And there are some people out there that are entranced by the chase and nothing more.

I recently read a book talked about on Oprah called "He's just not that into you" and it truly opened my eyes to what we women deserve and what men really are capable of. There are great men out there willing to go to any length to make you happy. If he won't talk about problems and does not treat you like he loves you, well, maybe "he's just not that into you.."

Pick it up and read it - it truly is empowering!

Wish you the best!

Thank you Spaz and chloe. I know you're both right. It just sucks that I keep attracting the wrong men.
Grr..
take care
Tina

"Should I just dump him and move on to someone who is open and understanding, or is there some way to change his behaviour to deal with the problems instead of forcibly turning a blind eye?"

It sounds like you'd be much happier finding someone who at least listens and tries to understand. Sounds like this man isn't worth the effort. He might change, then again, it might take several years. Are you willing to wait when you could find happiness elsewhere? You shouldn't be the one to change him, he has to make that choise himself. Hopefully, threw intraspection and talking on this forum, you maybe gain a better understand for why you attract these kind of guys.

Hope everything goes well, Jess

A friend passed this pearl of wisdom on to me:

They are all the wrong men (or women) until we get to the right one.

It seems far too many women complain about attracting the wrong men. Could be because physical attraction is more of a factor than what's "on the inside". Then there's the guys who would be loving but are often left on the sidelines because they're a frog, not the prince.

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Well, he has gone WAY over to the other side, treating me like I say nothing important, DO nothing worthwhile, and pretty m uchmaking me feel like a trivial appendage that he could easily do without.


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So how long have you been seeing this guy? He doesn't sound like adores and respects you.

Sounds like your missing too many key ingredients!
I dated a man for almost 2 years after my divorce. I think I always knew he was wrong for me. I don't know what kept me with him for so long.

get him to read some of those codependent recovery books. "love is a choice" "codependent no more"

sounds like he has some problems with his relationship with himself that he needs to take care of