Facebook and Paranoia

For me, any new thing or change causes much anxiety and paranoia, especially in a relationhip. I think of anything that can possibly happen or go wrong and get it in my head that it will. Now, as you can see this post is about facebook. Let me tell you i have had a facebook for quite sometime but i never can go on it except on my phone so i dont update stuff that much. My boyfriend recently signed up for it, alot of his family and friends have talked him into it because they have it as well. Fine, i mean i have it. But oh my i have become crazy paranoid about him meeting, reuniting with a girl from the past or something. he knows how i feel adn has said i can watch him do it, etc that he wont cheat on me. i cant help it but get crazy i keep telling him its going to happen and that its addicting and annoying, etc (facebook that is) he can also check it on his phone which this morning i noticed he updated his status before he even texted me. I am literally driving myself insane. We do live together, he has on his facebook pictures of us and that he is in a realationship with me, etc. That isnt enough. Enought would be for that stuff to never exist. I hate that i dont know the people he grew up with adn what happened with all of them i hate it! I just dont know what to do about it im going to drive us both nuts. I know i need therapy but my insurance does not cover it and i cant afford it at this time. I am on meds which help but my way of thinking needs to be changed.

sorry this is so long and thank you for reading. any advice would be sooo appreciated.

I don't think you are out of line at all. One of the reasons I thought my ex-fiance was so great was that he did not use the internet at all.

I am not fan of these internet social networks either. In those sites, people expose theirselves in a way to attract others attention for what? I believe that facebook/orkut and stuff like that are a very easy way for cheating.
I was involved with someone that used these sites a lot and I was cheated many times.....it was sad because I knew he frequently used these sites and he never wanted to share any information with me....I believe that in his "virtual life" I never existed and he was free to "date" whoever his feels like...(which in fact he did)
Maybe your boyfriend is trying to be quite honest with you by letting you watch him do it. Besides that, people know that he is with you and that he is proud of that! It is a good sign! I know it is hard now but try to relax and dont think much about it. Good luck!

I feel exactly the same way... actually an incident happened tonight about half an hour ago involving facebook and my bf, and the first thing I did was type in 'paranoia' in the search box and I found this! weird, eh?

My paranoid side is taking control of me lately, and I ****in hate it. Any ideas to help me reduce this, because I dont think I can take anymore, bg x

I understand how you feel. My boyfriend and I actually met on an internet dating sight. We have been together ten months and it's been a very difficult road. We moved in together about a month after meeting because he was about to be homeless. He used to let his ex-girlfriends call my house and talk to him! One woman he was seeing for over a year used to call at least once a week and they would email each other. Oh of course he would let me read them and he would tell me how cool I was to let him do that, but when she started asking when she could see him again I put my foot down and said it's her or me. He chose me. Now I still wonder if they talk and he just doesn't tell me. I have a very difficult time trusting him. Or should I say other women. It upsets him that I don't trust him after ten months, but hey, he gave me reasons not to. Your boyfriend has you on his facebook and these women know he's involved, but I understand how you feel, as it is women we cannot trust because as women we know how women are. Hang in there. Life is too short to worry about these things. Enjoy your time together because one never knows what is around the corner. Live life to your fullest.

Thank you for the response! I know he is being honest with me so im trying to calm myself down its just hard. I think im going to try to go back to my couselor so im excited about that becaue I need it! I know he is happy to be with me and loves me but everytime i start to relax a bit i freak out all over again. Guess ill keep trying!!

Thank you again.

Great attitude sandi i really am trying to get that way of thinking.

Hi, Katie...I don't have a facebook membership, but I can attest that the Internet sure opens up a whole new can of worms when it comes to trust vs. paranoia. It sounds like your beau just likes the many venues for social exchange offered on the Internet, and since he features pictures of the two of you on his page, stating upfront that he is in a relationship, it sounds as if you will need to try to trust him. It doesn't sound like he is willing to remove himself from Facebook to accommodate your insecurity, which may be well-founded. I agree that many girls/women won't give a hoot whether he states that he has a partner. Therein lies the abilty to trust him, and decide whether he is worthy of your trust.
Patty