constant dreaming of ex that you want to despise!

Ugh among all other problems i have for some reason every night my ex is in my dreams, whether it be a nightmare or not he is there. Is this a sign for something? Because of this during the day i am stuck thinking about him, there has not been one night he has not been in my dream since we broke up. And now i am married to someone else all starting from dating this guy to get this ex jealous for lying to me and now look where everything led me? I constantly have doubts and think about the fact that i may have married the wrong man...

Can you honestly say you are in love with this man or do you just love him? I think if you were in love you would know it and not even have to question.
Your ex is occupying your thoughts during the day therefore those thoughts also encroach on your sleep. Perhaps you should try occupying yourself with some sort of activity (physical may be good) to help yourself stop thinking about him in the day. I do believe the less you think of him in the day they less you will dream of him at night.
Another thing you may try is writting your dreams down when you first wake so you can analyze them. There are some great dream dictionaries both in book and online resources that can help you deciefer the meaning. Sometimes the smallest things in a dream have the biggest importance.
One more thing to try, I dont know if this will work for you or not, but I guess trying would not be so bad. Write all of your concerns, issues, worries, thoughts, feelings about your ex till you have exhausted all and can think of no more. Then, hold yourself a little ceremony, a sort of cleansing of your spirit where you take all those thoughts you wrote and burn them in the fireplace or burnbarrel (a safe way of doing this of course) if you do not have any of that, tearing it all into small pieces and repeatedly flushing may work too : ) During this ceremony imagine all thoughts, doubts, feelings etc of him going away as the paper burns or is drowned. I dont know but you may find this as a kind of theraputic release, a cleansing of the soul.
I do not think you can allow your new husband into your heart and even recognize if you do love him until you let the other one go completely.
Good luck, I hope you find your answers.

what if, what if i can not let go of the past? what if one day i woke up and realized that i made a mistake. To make it worse, i thought my husband deleted everything of him. He did not. I was looking in my Sent messages and found threads between me and him linked in there. I guess he only got to my inbox. But this message hit me a lot. One he sent to me after i broke up with him, i was so stupid and naive and thought i could do whatever i want. I hurt this man and he literally was the best thing that happened to me. He had sent me a letter stating that No matter what he will always love me and will never forget the memories we had and the way i made him smile and melt when i walked into a room. The way that no matter how bad his day was i made it the best. That as hard and painful it is to let me go he will do it because it makes me happy doesnt matter how much it hurts him. Things keep hitting me, about this relationship. It wasnt over, i forced it to be over because i was angry with him. Now i have no closure at all... The place we met, A local rite aid we worked there together, was now closed down yesterday for good. That memory is gone, i dated him for 2 years.. I used to come in and pretend i was shoppping and go to visit him and he would always come and talk to me, the latest time was only 2 weeks ago. My husband knows nothing of me going to that store. Im not allowed. but i go when hes working, or i used to . I could tell he still cares for me, i saw it in his eyes, he came over to me and couldnt stop staring at me and kept giving that nod look like " this sucks". I love my husband but i should not have married him when my feelings were like this. I do not know what to do!

That is a toughie, just remember that the grass is always greener. Last year I met a man, the perfect man. We instantly connected on every level. He was a nuclear physicist so he was obviously all there in the brains department, we shared the same interests, he made me laugh, and he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I don't know if you read the post about my husband but basically they are complete opposites. Problem is we were both married and both pretty miserable. Then came the day that he had a little too much to drink and told me that he loved me as way more than a friend. Told me that if I left my husband he would be there for me in every way possible and that he has never felt like this about anyone.

So...I made a choice and chose my husband. My feelings were that I made a commitment and regardless of if it worked out in the end it just wouldn't be right of me to end things for something that quite possibly wouldn't work out. I also have three little ones to think of and they played a factor in my decision making process.

The point is I still wonder every time my husband does something wrong if I made the right choice. I actually just told my husband how much I miss my friend terribly and he asked me if I would rather be with him because he was willing to support me. While he was opposed to us hanging out before, I think he realized how much I need someone in my life like that. I can honestly say I think I made a good decision, if I leave I don't want it to be because I love someone else but because of my own needs and wants. If I left him I wouldn't go running into the other mans arms no matter how much I wanted to because I would need time to adjust and figure things out. I could see myself if I had done the opposite and if things didn't work out between my friend and I, I would probably regret that he was my reason for leaving.

I am not telling you which way to go regarding this decision but I would look at what would happen if things didn't work out with you and your ex, how the divorce would impact yourself and your family including your husband, and if it's not just a matter of infatuation but actual love.