[MonroeTree]

I told my therapist I had a crush on her.

I trusted in our relationship enough to know that we will work through it. It was such a relief to get it off my chest, but now that it is out in the open my feelings have grown stronger for her.

I know I will eventually have to start letting go of the unrealistic feelings, but right now I want to dwell in the fantasies. My T is being wonderfully supportive and allowing me to work through all the aspects of the crush.

Truthfully I am afraid of the heartbreak I will feel when I do finally accept the reality of the situation.

This is my first post here and I'm hoping it helps me put all of these feelings into the proper context. I originally went for therapy to help deal with some personal relationship issues and so far I've been very satisfied with my progress. I feel very fortunate to have found my T and I want to find a way to navigate these feelings without ruining the relationship.

This message board has already helped me to see that this is not an uncommon situation and that I'm not crazy to have these feelings.

[geez]

Originally Posted by MonroeTree

I told my therapist I had a crush on her.

I trusted in our relationship enough to know that we will work through it. It was such a relief to get it off my chest, but now that it is out in the open my feelings have grown stronger for her.

I know I will eventually have to start letting go of the unrealistic feelings, but right now I want to dwell in the fantasies. My T is being wonderfully supportive and allowing me to work through all the aspects of the crush.

Truthfully I am afraid of the heartbreak I will feel when I do finally accept the reality of the situation.

This is my first post here and I'm hoping it helps me put all of these feelings into the proper context. I originally went for therapy to help deal with some personal relationship issues and so far I've been very satisfied with my progress. I feel very fortunate to have found my T and I want to find a way to navigate these feelings without ruining the relationship.

This message board has already helped me to see that this is not an uncommon situation and that I'm not crazy to have these feelings.

I'm exactly in the same spot right now. Thank you so much for voicing that as it's also my fear 'ruining the relationship' by being honest with T.

I'm afraid my T will use my being honest against me and tell me she can't have me as a client anymore.

[MonroeTree]

After obsessing about the feelings & desires for so long, thanks to both therapy and personal reflection I am ready to start thinking about my feelings in a healthier way.

The obsession has been such a mixed bag of emotions. I have loved thinking about her, daydreaming about being intimate with her, but at the same time I was always realistic about the impossibility of it all. I don't want that inner turmoil anymore.

I have been working on separating the desires (unhealthy & destructive) from the feelings (healthy & normal). As the days go by the distinction between the two sides does become much clearer. Noticing the difference between the two has really been the key to my moving forward.

In many ways this feels like a break up. I am saying "goodbye" to the desire for an intimate encounter. I'll be honest, it is very sad to me. I am heartbroken that I have to let go, but I know I will get through it and I'm so excited to have gone through this with my T.

I want to say that I don't think I would be where I'm at if not for my T being so supportive of me. I never felt judged or weird.

[nicoleflynn]

I have been in love with my t for 8 years; told him a long time ago; he considers me a colleague (studying for the profession).

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are....and should be recognized, valued and honored.

[nicoleflynn]

Originally Posted by geez

I'm exactly in the same spot right now. Thank you so much for voicing that as it's also my fear 'ruining the relationship' by being honest with T.

I'm afraid my T will use my being honest against me and tell me she can't have me as a client anymore.

If you feel that by being "honest" with your t, then there is something wrong. Authenticity/honesty is what it is about. A t isn't supposed to abandon you because of your feelings. They are supposed to help you....with the feelings!

[purplemystery]

I'm glad you found the courage to tell your therapist and have been successful at working through it so far. It is really hard to let go of that fantasy where everything seems so right and perfect. It takes a lot to acknowledge that, so good for you!

[archipelago]

I started out with a puppy love crush on my current therapist. He was encouraging me before that to express any feelings toward him so we could talk them through. At first he was very curious about the extent of the feelings. They were so bound up with innocence that they really didn't include sexual fantasies. Later on as we talked more they developed, but they were not consistent and not a central part of what happened between us. Finally, after he made a slip and called me "babe" instead of my name, I confronted him. We then relaxed because it was more true that a certain kind of intimacy was developing where we both felt fond and caring toward each other, but my history eroticizes such relationships. I worked this out and now don't have those feelings. There was no let down or no hassle. It just turned out to be deeper than the "crush" so I'm glad I was able to go through that and move on to other things.

[Lauliza]

"In many ways this feels like a break up. I am saying "goodbye" to the desire for an intimate encounter. I'll be honest, it is very sad to me. I am heartbroken that I have to let go, but I know I will get through it and I'm so excited to have gone through this with my T."

That is so well said, I have the same feelings but have been unable to articulate them so well. You really do have a lot of courage. I have been struggling for a couple of years to tell my psychiatrist but have lost the courage every time. My female therapist thinks its important (I finally told her after all this time too), but I can't seem bring myself to do it. My therapist has reassured me that she is 100% sure he will be kind, understanding and will not terminate me (a common fear I guess), so that is helpful. I'm glad to see that this is so common.

[geez]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

If you feel that by being "honest" with your t, then there is something wrong. Authenticity/honesty is what it is about. A t isn't supposed to abandon you because of your feelings. They are supposed to help you....with the feelings!

Thank you nicole and sorry for posting this on the thread --- I'm not wanting to hijack this thread.

I completely get what you are saying and I agree. It's my old thought patterns that get in the way. Honesty with feelings never paid off when I was growing up and I always craved love and attention. I had to lie about my feelings when asked with hopes of getting love and attention.

To have a T that I can tell things to and not be rejected is new territory for me. It both feels wonderful and scary at the same time.