[SmallestFatGirl]

I've seen in a few threads here where people have said Ts generally know about transference feelings before the client ever confesses them. For reals? That seems pretty awful, particularly if the client just wants to keep that bit of info to themselves.

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Well they're trained to really read into human behavior. My T was never gonna say anything until I decided I was ready. He said that it was my issue, and wanted me to deal with it at my own pace.

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

[veronicamarie]

They don't really know the only way they can is if you are very obvious about it but that's it therapists or not they are human beings and can be oblivious to it just like a lot of people are when someone likes them

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[RTerroni]

My last Therapist sensed transference very early on.

[thestarsaregone]

My therapist brought it up before I even had a chance to think about my feelings. I don't think either of us were prepared for the conversation, but we muddled through anyway lol

[Mactastic]

My T knows about my feelings but I have been dying to ask him if he already knew and was waiting for me to bring it up. I wonder if he'd answer me?

[SmallestFatGirl]

Ugh. That's a conversation I don't ever want to have with T. Ever. Unfortunately for me, he's very good at reading body language and I have absolutely no poker face.

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I don't think they really know. I think they just throw out guesses or what they think should be happening whether it's true or not.

[Petra5ed]

They cant know for sure of course, but I bet it is pretty blatant when it happens. You cant hide this kind of stuff.

Do you mean transference related to affectionate or love feelings or just in general? I think experienced therapists can tell; moreso if the transference is intense. Or any astute observer, really.

Now that I've experienced/recognized my own transferences, I can often tell when people around me are experiencing it. Need for approval around authority figures is one that is especially noticeable...

[SmallestFatGirl]

I guess just in general.

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[dark_sweetie]

I sort of told t that I had gotten really attached to her when she was talking about my bad relationships with my parents and she was like "yep I thought you did but I wasn't positive." She also had dropped hints to get me to talk abiut it before. And she reassured me that it is TOTALLY normal and that that way I can learn from our relationship. We haven't talked about it in more depth yet though, but anyway, she did know before I said it.

[MoxieDoxie]

One of my T's had no idea I even had any attachment to him until I told him months later the reason why I chose to see another therapist weekly and cut him down to twice a month was because I was painfully attached to him and I needed to break it. He kept shacking his head back and forth saying "I had no idea." He is such a strict CBT Therapist that it blinds him I think.

[SmallestFatGirl]

I think my T dropped hints last week that he knows, but I'm so painfully clueless about human interaction that I'm not sure. I swear I feel like I'm 13 again when I'm around him.

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[SeekerOfLife]

I am sure my T. does not know. I hinted at it the last time we met, and she never changed her expression, or tried to get me to open up about it. Half the time, I doubt I have transference, and the other half I am not sure.

[LearningMe01]

I don't think there is one answer to this question. They are good at (and trained) reading human emotions/body language etc. So I guess if you acted a certain way , they might pick up on it. If you are very aware of your feelings and don't want them to be known , you could probably hide them by acting indifferent. Sometimes that's easier said than done, I suppose. My T didn't know. I did tell her though.

[Cherubbs]

When someone has the hots for me I can generally pick up on it, I'm pretty sure most people can. I don't see why a T shouldn't notice that, of all people.

[SmallestFatGirl]

Originally Posted by Cherubbs

When someone has the hots for me I can generally pick up on it, I'm pretty sure most people can. I don't see why a T shouldn't notice that, of all people.

I can't. I'm painfully oblivious to these type of things. That's actually been a huge source of tension between my husband and I lately. Anyway, because of my blinders when it comes to this sort of thing, I can't even begin to guess if T knows I'd love to shag him rotten. Goddess, I hope not. *embarrassed*

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[Cherubbs]

Oh dear, it seems there's a lot of it about these days.

They can make an educated guess but they can't know for sure as they can't read minds!

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

They cant know for sure of course, but I bet it is pretty blatant when it happens. You cant hide this kind of stuff.

I agree. They are trained to expect transference and they know what to look for.

[Bentay]

I think T's must have an inkling plus they have ways of asking questions to ascertain how a client is really feeling about something.

[red61]

I messed up n told my therapist I was highly attracted to her. Then I quit therapy n wrote her some crazy letter telling her y I was attracted to her. I wish I just kept my mouth shut. She was the best therapist I ever had. I don't when want to see anyone else. She s try y's.on y mind and it's been 8 months. I can't deal with it. And because ur diagnosed with something and in therapy it's automatically transference. Like our feeling aren't valid.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by red61

I messed up n told my therapist I was highly attracted to her. Then I quit therapy n wrote her some crazy letter telling her y I was attracted to her. I wish I just kept my mouth shut. She was the best therapist I ever had. I don't when want to see anyone else. She s try y's.on y mind and it's been 8 months. I can't deal with it. And because ur diagnosed with something and in therapy it's automatically transference. Like our feeling aren't valid.

Can you go back? Ts usually let you come back.

[losinghope]

Mmmm....yeah, I think they do.

I was struggling with my feelings so much one night that I finally put my thoughts in an email. She printed out a copy and brought it to our next session. It contained some physical stuff, but mostly it was about how perfect I thought she was. It did not refer to her in the email. I asked her to read it aloud and she said she was uncomfortable doing so, as it was a bit explicit. I must have looked tortured, because than she asked if she was the 'she' in the email. I nodded, then started to cry. We talked about it, and we have several times...I finally realized it was about me wanting to take care of her, not anything physical. She said that was my mothering instinct kicking in. Funny, being that the only thing I am a mother to is 2 horses and 4 cats.