[alimak]

What your thoughts about a T that constantly says he cares a lot of you? Usually in the content of:

Me: I give up.
T: no, don't. I care a lot about you.

Or

Me: I don't even know if therapy working. I am just going to stop coming.
T: I wouldn't like to see that. I like it when you come. I care a lot about you.

Am I just reading more into it than what it is (wishful thinking??)

[junkDNA]

my T says those things. and our relationship is not inappropriate. im thinking u are reading too much into these comments. also it kind of seems like ur testing him by saying its not working and u dont want to keep coming.

[alimak]

I'm not testing him. Just tired of knowing there isn't a "cure" for what I have to what the point of treatment? YA know.

[TheWell]

Maybe he's trying to build up your self esteem a bit. Have you thought about asking him about it?

[JustShakey]

My T says stuff like that. He's trying to teach me to care about myself more. There's nothing inappropriate about it.

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[frackfrackfrack]

Its hard to tell from the conversation without seeing him say it. It could go either way.

'I like it when you come' is a bit much though. Or maybe I am just thinking it would be if my T said it since he never expresses anything he feels about/towards me.

Did you feel some tension on his part (sexual? emotional?) or did he say it matter-of-factly?

[lunatic soul]

My group T called me after first session when I passed second and started to tell me to come back and how much she cares about me.
I think it's okay and even good in therapy when T says it.
Clients always want to find in simple phrases something more.

[WrkNPrgress]

I don't see anything inappropriate in those words alone.

Are you comfortable when other people say things like this to you, or pay you compliments?

If it's something you didn't grow up with, it can be strange to hear those words and it can be hard to believe that someone truly means them.

[LindaLu]

Alimak, I've gotten several of these kinds of statements in a similar context as yours. I've told my T that I'd like to take a break and mentioned need for eventual termination. She says things like your T has, expressing concern for maintaining a working relationship. Yes there is real concern for you, but it's professional.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by alimak

What your thoughts about a T that constantly says he cares a lot of you? Usually in the content of:

Me: I give up.
T: no, don't. I care a lot about you.

Or

Me: I don't even know if therapy working. I am just going to stop coming.
T: I wouldn't like to see that. I like it when you come. I care a lot about you.

Am I just reading more into it than what it is (wishful thinking??)

I would have to consider body language and non-verbal communication as well as past interactions.

My exT said things like this and because I was already madly in love with her, it left me confused and wanting to know more. Eventually it became unbearable, all the ambiguity and the speculation about T's feelings toward me.
So I asked for clarity.

[LindaLu]

Originally Posted by BudFox

Eventually it became unbearable, all the ambiguity and the speculation about T's feelings toward me.
So I asked for clarity.

Good point. Better to discuss openly than assume, or ruminate. Might try that myself

[buggles]

My T has only once said she cared, and that is over 2 years of therapy. I wish she would say she cared, i wish she would say comforting things but she doesn't. I feel like i need her to. I struggle to trust her and when i do i sometimes feel like i am alone anyway. I am mostly happy with our work together but i wish she was more caring and nurturing.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by LindaLu

Good point. Better to discuss openly than assume, or ruminate. Might try that myself

I will say that my T resisted, using the reasoning that therapy is about my feelings, not hers. And that one must be able to tolerate ambiguity and so on.

But to me is was very unnatural to be in such an intimate relationship and have one person withhold their feelings. Maybe psych theory would advise such a thing, but it caused such distress and confusion. However, one might not like the answer to question...