[Thinkbait]

My T told me that she will be asking me details about my sex life every week for the next couple of months. She said that she feels it is relevant to where my head is at. She wants to know when, where, what we do, and what I'm thinking about. Has anyone else ever had this?

[krisakira]

Wow, um... those are way personal questions. I don't think I'd feel comfortable telling my T all that... why does she need to know where? That's oddly specific. Nope I would not answer those questions, unless I was talking to a sex therapist.

[Thinkbait]

Originally Posted by krisakira

Wow, um... those are way personal questions. I don't think I'd feel comfortable telling my T all that... why does she need to know where? That's oddly specific. Nope I would not answer those questions, unless I was talking to a sex therapist.

She is a licensed sex therapist (among other specialties as well) but that's not what I see her for.

You don't have to answer any of those questions and frankly I'd run for the hills if my T asked me questions like that. It's not up to her how your sessions go; you are the paying client and if you aren't comfortable with the questions you can say so.

[LonesomeTonight]

I don't see why she needs so many details. Both my T and marriage counselor have let me/us lead when talking about that topic--never pushed us. And my T used to do sex therapy too

[nicoleflynn]

If you aren't seeing her for sexual issues, then those questions are none of her business.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

If you aren't seeing her for sexual issues, then those questions are none of her business.

Oh my!

I'd agree with the above. Unless you have specifically identified that you want to address your sexuality/sex life in therapy I think it's way, way, way off base. Even when I've brought up sexual issues in therapy my therapist has followed my lead in terms of the amount of detail and specificity we get into. I would find it inappropriate for her to ask questions (sexual or otherwise) purely to satisfy her own curiosity.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

If it makes you feel any better, last week my T said he wants me to describe my sexual fantasies about HIM in detail....apparently drawing it wasn't enough.

[Thinkbait]

Originally Posted by Jessica Hazlitt

If it makes you feel any better, last week my T said he wants me to describe my sexual fantasies about HIM in detail....apparently drawing it wasn't enough.

Oh my gosh, how did that one go??

[Thinkbait]

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

Oh my!

I'd agree with the above. Unless you have specifically identified that you want to address your sexuality/sex life in therapy I think it's way, way, way off base. Even when I've brought up sexual issues in therapy my therapist has followed my lead in terms of the amount of detail and specificity we get into. I would find it inappropriate for her to ask questions (sexual or otherwise) purely to satisfy her own curiosity.

I guess a little background info is warranted here. I see her to deal with childhood sexual abuse. I have a very hard time opening up with my feelings so they come out in other ways. In the past, I have acted out sexually by purposely recreating the atmosphere of my abuse. I have just recently started to realize that I do this so I think this is where she is coming from. I truly do not think that she is just curious. I really believe that she is trying to understand me so she can help me. BUT! That doesn't make it any less awkward.

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by Thinkbait

Oh my gosh, how did that one go??

It was near the end of the session so it was just a lot of squirming really, we are going back to it on Thursday, will update

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by Thinkbait

I guess a little background info is warranted here. I see her to deal with childhood sexual abuse. I have a very hard time opening up with my feelings so they come out in other ways. In the past, I have acted out sexually by purposely recreating the atmosphere of my abuse. I have just recently started to realize that I do this so I think this is where she is coming from. I truly do not think that she is just curious. I really believe that she is trying to understand me so she can help me. BUT! That doesn't make it any less awkward.

Well, that makes more sense!

Mine has only asked a couple of times how my sex life with my husband is, no more details required than "good" or "dreadful" or "copacetic." I don't expect it to go beyond that.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[bixkf]

Well, I guess I see it as normal to be asked by my T. I've had issues with dealing with the loss of sensation in my penis. I've been asked many times about my sexual past, my sexual orientation, preferences, activities, etc., all to figure out if my loss of feeling is linked to some aspect of my sexuality.

It's been difficult. Just having my T discuss the idea that me being bisexual and losing my feeling might be because I could actually be gay and I might not be sexually attracted to my wife...it devastated me. I've questionned by past, my sexual orientation, my marriage...but in reality I know that my T had to ask.

Nowadays, I am very open with my T. We discuss my desires (gay and straight), my sexual activities (gay and straight), my anxiety, etc. all to ensure that I am dealing with my feelings and not hiding it all away. Sometimes it's embarassing, sometimes it's rather arousing...but I know it's necessary.

Keep an open mind, and if you are concerned over why your T is asking this kind of personal information, then ask and your T will tell you.

[Thinkbait]

Originally Posted by Jessica Hazlitt

It was near the end of the session so it was just a lot of squirming really, we are going back to it on Thursday, will update

I need an update! LOL

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by Thinkbait

I need an update! LOL

Hi yes sorry. Last week we only briefly touched in on it again. By this point I was already in the early stages of dissociation so talking at all was tricky. I basically told him that the drawings I had been bringing over the last few weeks summed up my desires in their totality. (I'm sure I uploaded one to another thread, if it's still on my phone I'll attach it here). So he was happy that for now having SEEN what I fantasise is enough, and we can go back to it in a bit when thing are less intense. This felt like he really understood the difficulties, we held hands for a bit at the end for some reconnection.
My Ts a gooden

[PerryJeffJoeJimBob]

I wish I could have told my therapist some of my issues earlier. I feel I have handicapped her by giving bits and pieces. Part of my problem is that my therapist is a female.

I have many MH problems, and we have discussed everything except sexual items. When I finally (after two years ) broached seeing a sex therapist for a sexual disorder, she said she wouldn't have a problem with this, although there could be therapy conflicts. And, while not a sex therapist, she had some training. So I decided to talk with her about some embarrassing items. She has been very professional and made this as painless as possible.

After not having much success dealing with my problems, I brought up that I had been molested as a child. She said she felt honored I would share this with her. She also said it would have been helpful to have known this earlier because it likely has a direct impact on my other issues.

Because of this, I have given her permission to ask any question she has. I told her I would probably answer anything she asked before voluntarily giving these details.

This is because I defer to more dominating individuals, and I consider therapists being in a position of authority.

Of course, that is a topic for another session, although I believe she is aware of this 😨

[bixkf]

Originally Posted by PerryJoeJimBob

I feel I have handicapped her by giving bits and pieces.

You know, I understand this a lot. I've personally had problems opening up to me GP, because I've only given her bits and pieces over the years. It was only about a year ago I actually told me GP that I was bisexual, though she say she kind of knew. The thing is now it's difficult to get enough time to actually tell her about "me", the real "me", because appointments are so short and we actually have real life health concerns to work on.

When I first started seeing my T, who is a sex therapist, I told myself to get put it all on the table...tell her all the details...hold back nothing. It felt so good to just let go. Now, when we speak there is no guilt or embarassment when I tell her things. I can tell her about my gay sex fantasies and desires, and the impact it has on my heterosexual sex life. That way we can deal with the issue, not the guilt over being bisexual.

I know it can be difficult, but if you have this dedicated person listening to you and helping you...let it all out because holding back is only going to hurt you by limiting what your T can do for you.

[Thinkbait]

Originally Posted by Jessica Hazlitt

Hi yes sorry. Last week we only briefly touched in on it again. By this point I was already in the early stages of dissociation so talking at all was tricky. I basically told him that the drawings I had been bringing over the last few weeks summed up my desires in their totality. (I'm sure I uploaded one to another thread, if it's still on my phone I'll attach it here). So he was happy that for now having SEEN what I fantasise is enough, and we can go back to it in a bit when thing are less intense. This felt like he really understood the difficulties, we held hands for a bit at the end for some reconnection.
My Ts a gooden

Nice!! Thank you so much for the update!