In Love with Therapist and I can't take the pain from it.

Yeah, me too. Only tempted though. Best outcome is to get over this obsession rather than induldge it and look at why you fall so quickly in love for what other people would view as an infatuation. There's a confusion there.

You are already writing that it is causing you tremendous pain (in the title of this thread it's more than you can take).

Well, if something is causing tremendous pain, a good outcome might be to stop going in that direction. It is a warning sign.

You are correct. One of the reasons I'm at Therapy is to talk about my crave for intimacy and how I don't get it or how to ask for it. This goes back to when I was a kid. It's the shame and embarrassment about my feelings(I know there's no reason to feel that way, but). I hopeful that after our appointment today, I'll feel better. I fell for her for a reason, she gets me and I feel so comfortable talking to her. I've told her this and she smiled, which made me feel amazing. So what I am doing is chasing those feelings I get from her. Since I don't get that from my marriage anymore.
It's funny to know the why and how you are doing something, but there's another part of you that just wants to feel what you feel. We've spoken on how I have done this before. Of course part of me thinks "it's different this time". After racking my brain over the past week, the only thing I can come up with is...

Be honest about how I feel. There is nothing wrong with it and it's part of my therapy.

And about the pain thing, I choose to punish myself, I am unworthy of happiness.(This is also a topic my T and I discuss).

Basically it's a really good thing I am in Therapy with someone who, I am very comfortable with, who makes me better, who I feel connected to, and is so beautiful, words can't describe.

Pete--
good luck today, it's very scary for sure, I would probably try not to use the phrase "in love"-I've read stories like that where therapists think the client is in love with them etc and terminates. maybe just say you have loving feelings or that you have transference feelings you want to work though

also, my T isn't good looking to me but if he was, I personally think it would make it so much harder going forward, a constant reminder of what you want and cant have.... so keep that in mind as well, it could get even tougher from here

Have you considered couples therapy? It's wrong for you to go "chasing those feelings" that you are getting from your T. It's kind of like being in a one-sided emotional affair, and that's no fun. I think that today when you tell her how you feel and why you believe you are feeling them that you ask your T if couples therapy would be right for you and your wife.

Well, I had my appointment today. It took me some time to get it out, she was very patient with me. I told her my feelings and she handled it as a true professional. We talked about the whys? and hows? We normalized my feelings and she said this is exactly what can happen when I have no intimacy in my life. We talked about how I have to get better with communication with my wife. She's not a mind reader. I feel a lot better now, getting this off my chest. I told my T this and she said I was brave to tell her. She is an awesome T and I do love her. We left off with, I told her my feelings haven't changed but we will work on it. I thanked her for helping me and she told me I've been helping myself, she is just pointing me in health directions. The best part I think is, she wants to bring my wife in on a session. Of course we won't tell me wife the "love" part. But I think things are going to work out. Today was a good day. Just hope the reliable Depression doesn't come back to quick. Trying to stay positive.

Glad it went well... I appreciate the T's who handle things like this very well

I sometimes wonder, how weird it must be to be a T and have all these people that get these feelings for you.... I would be weirded out, not a very good T at all... but props to them for being able to do this on a consistent basis with all types of people

I'm happy that it went well for you. I'm glad that she suggested the session including your wife.

I know my t has said he tries not to take a lot of the client's negative feelings personally. Probably same goes for a lot of the positive loving feelings. Some of the clients seem to get caught up in the undivided attention, the caring, the listening, eye contact more so than who the actual therapist is.

Tho Im sure theres times with Ts think ****, they really actually love me...

Yes you were brave. And it paid because your therapist is a professional.
Now you know you can count on her and he also will try to help you with your wife.
You have to stay positive: it will take time and effort, and it may not be straight and easy.
But you are not alone and you are doing it right.

Someone stole your post and used it in their blog post.

https://www.emaxhealth.com/1/falling...t-live-feeling

Are you sure this blog is about this specific post?? Did the author edit it and remove a pic of this post or something, because I see no identifying information...

That said ,that article is complete crap and makes me stabby.

I saw that, not happy about it. But there's no way to identify me from their post. Still not happy and feel a bit violated and judged by that persons post.

But I've more important worries in this crazy head of mine.

re: article
omg.. its wrong to fall in love? No, its wrong to sometimes act on it and there is value working through it with a good therapist

Yes he edited it after receiving comments from folks on here. There is an entire thread on this in the community feedback forum.

Sorry to those who were plagiarized...

I see that guy has been publishing his work on that site for more than nine years...urrgh!

Wow, he’s such a judgmental jerk.

He does have a FB account.

I hope the bloggers judgemental crap doesn’t get to you too much. This guy is giving terrible advice and is not a therapist. Having thoughts and feelings is NOT the same as acting on them. So he can take his phony Christian act and go sit and spin. I’m so sorry he lifted your words and twisted the actual situation

Armen Hareyan is a hack who has no understanding or apparent training in psychotherapy.

To those who wish to peacefully express thier outrage (he has still not taken down the offending posts) here is his contact info well, since it is publicly available must be fair use, right?

Armen Hareyan (not a therapist of any kind)

828-291-5884

Hareyan publishing
4128 2nd street nw
Hickory North Carolina 28601

Also on Facebook and LinkedIn
Also has two books on amazon

And the comments section of this jerk
https://www.emaxhealth.com/1/falling...t-live-feeling

My goodness, that guy is a total twunt. What is he trying to achieve I wonder? Over inflated ego syndrome perhaps.

UnclePete... hope you are well, been away from here a bit, just was thinking of you and hoping things are going ok