How do you deal with people that want to fix you?

Really religious people who believe do not run around recruiting people, trying to get them to change their minds. They accept everyone, help everyone, and hope, that by the way they live and think, it will help others.

I'd be careful if I were you, Lonegael. I suspect Elysium might be loading dirty diapers into her arsenal. Hope you like the smell of newborn babies!

So AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - what do YOU think about all of this?

Will you whisper softly to us and say "Let It Be?"

Will you speak to us and say "Stop touching my thread."

or will you shout at us and say "GIVE IT A REST!"

It's up to you because I heard Yoda can go all night long!

Its a hard situation AAAAA. I was raised in a family with very strong convictions as well. My mother used to tell me all of the time that she was praying for me that I find my way back to the "right" path. To which my response was that I thought that praying was an act of faith, and that the point was for god to answer those prayers. That telling me about it all of the time was her way of trying to control what she could not, instead of allowing the let go and let god. I suspect that she still prays dilligently for me, but no longer tells me about it.

She also used to tell me that she was praying for my one roommate, a gay male, that he would no longer be gay. I used to just tell her good luck with that. Needless to say, we have come to an understanding. It is important to know your own beliefs and convictions, and to live by those without allowing others to interfere with them. I believe as you do, that everyone believes their own things for their own reasons, and that it really is okay. But I believe that it should be reciprocated, and that I should be allowed to be at peace in my own spirituality.

So, decide if this person is worth the time and the headache, or if you can just be civil, and realize that she is coming from a place of judgement and intolerance, and let her be. It is hard to do that with relatives, but I suspect that you have had to set other boundaries with different family members, and that it has worked out okay.

Are you insinuating that I FLING poo? LOL!!!

No dirty diapers here!! I save those for politicians!!

The worst I would do is fling a spoonful of strained peaches...but even that's only for dire situations!!

Although...newborn babies do smell pretty good. As long as they're fresh!! Sour newborn babies need their butts changed, a gentle bath, and some nice baby lotion. Then they're ready for snugglin'.

My family is of one protestant denomination; my husband's family is of another. My husband's brother and wife are convinced we are going to hell. We cut off any religious conversations by hanging up the phone. We delete emails. They've backed off some over time. We just don't "bite" into their nagging.

Farmer girl, yeah, that's how we have had to handle some stuff, though not religious. eventually folks start gettting the picture.
Elysium: "Freedom has the scent like the to of a newobrn baby's head", from one of U2's songs. Love that line, but one wonders,
what abstract concept smells like the other end?
No, really. I think it's really tough trying to get one's feelings respected at times, especially when one side is sure it's right (and I KNOW mine is).

No kidding? So I've been kissing the wrong cheeks all this time?

It's never any fun when somebody tries to "fix" you. Reading your post makes me realize that I need to be on the look out for trying to "fix" family members-something I probably try to do too often. At any rate, When people do try to "fix" us, I find that a good solution is simply to say, "Bless you." This can be said quietly or out loud if the person won't get offended. Their need to fix you usually has more to do with their own feelings of low self worth than it does with you. So next time that person tries to "fix" you, try giving her a blessing, and say, "bless you." I'd like to know if this has been helpful. Thanks.

Alright, Sky - fess up. You're a librarian, aren't you?

I'm sincerely sorry for taking this off course, but I never really saw it as off course.

I'm wondering if AAAAA had posted this in the Relationships forum to begin with, it may have been edited for "religious content." It's kind of hard not to support her with this particular problem without mentioning religion or relationships.

AAAAA - If the thread is moved and this bothers you, I'm sorry for my contributions. I know it's difficult for me when I place something in a safe spot, only to find someone has move it to another location and forced me to hunt for my belongings. It's even more difficult when I find out my belongings have been thrown away.

I like this thread just as it is....where it is. I don't see a problem with it....but yeah AAAAA, sorry if it strayed.

I think a lot of folks understand your post and want to comment more but are wanting to be sensitive to other's opinions at the same time, which can be a challenge sometimes...to say what we'd like to say.

My thoughts are though, that Religion and Spirituality are Relationships. They're relationships with one's self and one's higher beliefs in the Universe....so maybe it would fit both places...but so what?

Anyway....let's keep on truckin'

I put this thread specifically in this forum because I was very troubled at the time. Like I've said, I'm very comfortable with my beliefs and I respect this family member's beliefs as well. Sometimes in the heat of the moment something seems bigger perhaps than it actually is. The answer to this problem was really quite simple, just ignore this topic completely with this woman.

I found it very annoying and insulting that she did not extend me the same courtesy. I guess I'm still naive at heart, mind and soul. With so many shades of gray out there I cannot fathom being absolutely convinced that there is only one way to salvation, and that path MUST include being a member of a specific church. This makes no sense to me logically or spiritually.

In my youth I would have taken her on. I would have pointed out all of the rules of her own church (which I am very familiar with) that she breaks, and asked her point blank how she expects to convert someone when she so very clearly doesn't believe in many of their rituals herself. Age and experience have taught me that we believe the same thing ultimately, she's somehow able to reconcile in her own mind being a member of this church and not necessarily following the dogma to the letter.

To me spirituality is a personal thing. I'm more than happy to discuss it with you, but I cannot categorically state this is thee single, solitary path to salvation.

My first thought of the day is actually a prayer for guidance and wisdom to see the guidance when it's offered.

Sounds good to me. I know sometimes I get so annoyed with a certain person that i can fail to see the ways in which they can be right also. Praying for wisdom is in and of itself wise. HUGGS, and thanks for the idea:-) So simple and so easily overlooked...