[windbound]

I grew up in a large, secluded, religious family. Not necessarily strict and holding to one set of religious beliefs but one of those families that hops from passing revival craze to the next best "cult".

Any way, I feel like this has permanently brainwashed my mind and skewed even my very perception of reality. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to escape these horrible things that was forced upon my brain from a very young age.

Is it just me that ended up like this? Or am I wrong to think that it was my religious upbringing that made me like this? I don't know what to think...

[(JD)]

While it's generally accepted that our environments contribute to who we are "today" it in no way determines whether, or how, we will heal from the past experiences.

You can heal from your past. Some bad thinking habits (what you feel is brainwashing) can be countered, or reinforced, or reframed for good.

We all have many habits that may irk us in one way...but once we find the origin of them (why we think or do the way we think or do) some may be not only okay for us to keep, but another may be one we want to embrace, being part of our individuality.

[Gus1234U]

there is a big difference between "religious" and "spiritual", windbound. i would never want to live without the latter, or with the former.... maybe there is a way free if you look at how other cultures believe and behave.... best wishes,, Gus

[Heidiwho2212]

I can totally relate to your concerns. I was raised in a fundamental strict family. I didn't give up my spirituality through this.

It's amazing how a trigger as powerful as man's idea of religion - it can scar you. But it does get better with time, and finding what fits for you.

[Inedible]

These days it seems to me that even the word spiritual is being poisoned.

The advice I like most is this: Think for yourself. A big part of this is accepting being alone in it. This is your life we are talking about. Don't let other people use you to help prop up their own beliefs.

[Open Eyes]

I was raised in a certain Faith and my father donated his time to teach it to children.
One year my father was not asked back to do this completely donation of his own time, and he was a good teacher. And I can remember my father being hurt by that and I also can remember the essence of politics surrounding that place of worship.
And my father stopped going to that place altogether because of that. So as a family we all stopped. But we did not stop having and practicing "Faith" in our home as a family.

I went to a high school that was a private school and it had a specific faith that was similar to mine but a different title. And the whole time I was there I was permitted to read the books about that faith in classes and was allowed to go to the part of the school where that faith was celebrated. But the whole time I felt like an outsider who just had permission to view that faith and learn about it. So the whole time I attended that High School I just felt like a kind of outsider as most of the other students were part of that faith.

So most of my life I never really felt part of one specific faith but I did learn about faith from reading and I also liked to learn from other faiths too and see what they believed and practiced. But I have to say that I was always a kind of outsider because I had never really been allowed to join one specific faith, or that is the way I felt. But the one thing I did want was to be a good person so I thought about the different things I had read and mostly prayed in private, not really sure if I would be accepted because I didn't really have a specific name of "Faith" that I belonged to.

I finally decided that the most important thing was to learn about how to be a good human being and use the knowledge I had learned from different books and that it was ok to pray and have my own "Faith". And I truely felt that as long as other people from other faiths were respectful and kind to me, it didn't really matter exactly what "Faith" it was that those people belonged to.

And I also realized that not all people follow their specific "Faith" to every single guideline, they just focus on being good people and make efforts to respect other human beings. And over the years I have been around different people who have practiced different faiths and there was a quality to each group of people. So I don't think that one has to really be under one exact faith to be a spiritual person. The most important thing of all is that YOU as an individual find your own personal way of having "Faith". And to be honest, even in different individual faiths, there is an individuality within those faiths that people have and choose to be a part of their personal everyday journey in life.

I know what you mean by a brain washed sense of fearing a cult like atmosphere.
But that doesn't have to be your personal life or sense of personal "Faith and Spirituality". I personally believe that each person has a personal choice and it does not really have to be organized by someone elses beliefs. You should respect yourself and find ways to respect others and know that you can choose your personal "Faith and Spirituality".

I am always open to learning the ways that others practice faith. And as long as that faith includes the acceptance and respect for other human beings, I respect it.
I have come to understand that it is truely a personal choice.

Open Eyes

[popeye]

I think of myself as a spiritual person...not a religious one.

[Leed]

I also consider myself "spiritual" rather than religious. I was brought up in a certain church, and they "skewed" my mind BIG TIME. I had years of problems due to this -- and finally had to confront the pastor about the teachings of this religion and what it had done to me. I think that did me alot of good.

I don't go to church now -- I can talk to my Higher Power anytime I want. Organized religion just isn't for me.

I wish you the best -- it might help to talk to a therapist. I did, and I'm glad I did. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Hello, windbound.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/fix...e-distortions/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...nking-hurt-us/
http://thoughtmedicine.com/2010/04/t...nge-your-life/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...-inner-critic/
http://www.recoveryhope4all.com/negative_talk.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...essing-you-out
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/48485

I wish you well.

[lynn P.]

((windbound)) - I'm sorry religion had a bad impact on your life. Personally I don't feel the need to attach myself to a religion. I believe I can still be a good person and upstanding citizen without a specific religion. It should never rule ones life but be an added bonus.

[Queen of Chaos]

I was born into a family deeply involved with a church that honestly believes only those who are members have any hope whatsoever of going to Heaven. You cannot believe what years and years and years of regularly hearing what a total loser you are can do to a person unless you've been there. Years upon years of guilt and fear - growing up knowing only a desperate fear of God, never understanding the love of God. When I got old enough to realize how wrong all this was, it took every ounce of courage I had to leave...and it left me ostracized by not only dozens of "church friends" I'd known my entire life but also disowned by my family.

In my own humble opinion, that "religion" nearly destroyed my life. But, eventually, the experience led me to a church I genuinely love - one that teaches God's love for everyone. Interestingly, a huge number of the members who attend the church I attend today have backgrounds in a variety of religions and faiths.

I like where I am today. My religious experiences are very much spiritual, I believe that God loves me for who I am. I'll always have a lot of mental and emotional scars but I guess we're all the products of what our life experiences make us.

In all sincerity, I do believe that so much harm has been done to so many innocent people in the name of "religion".

[mlyn]

still trying to figure that out for myself given past experience (abuse) in what they call religion.
You are not alone. srry not much help!!

[1LittleLamb1]

Have you looked up any of the "Ex" sites on the web these days? If you type the word ex and then the name of the church you grew up in, you will probably find a support site that has many members who have been through the same struggles. It is very difficult to overcome years of teachings that have been ingrained, but many have done it. I hope you find the help and peace you're searching for. It's out there!

[Open Eyes]

(((((mlyn)))))

I am sorry that happened to you mlyn, and as you can see by Queen of Chaos's post you are not alone in that. I don't think that real "FAITH" was ever meant to be as organized as it is, it is man that did that, and given that, there will be power sought by it, and even abuse unfortunately.

Thats why I thought about the books and the stories and the messages and human lessons learned and all the wisdom that came from all of that history. And often I think that the fighting that took place and still takes place is not really done by those who have real "FAITH" and practice it in their lives, but, instead by those who use "FAITH" for power and a means to gain other lands or possessions.

Personally when I break it down to the simple true messages and what that might mean to me, one person in a big world full of natural things that never cease to amaze me, I can open myself up to understanding how to accept the true essance of "FAITH". If I as a human being created something from scraps of nothing than I would have to say that something has all of the essence of me in it. So, if I were to look at some kind of creator, I would have to consider that I am just one part of that creation, one essance of a much bigger effort that is in everything that I see and in everyone I meet, in all things around me. And even though I am just one small speck along with so many other things, I am still a part of it, I am here, so it must have been intended for my one small speck to be. Though I may not know exactly why, surely there must be a reason and as I look around there must be a reason for all of that too. And so I must find a way to respect not only myself but all the other things that are there for a reason. And the best I can do is see what is in my little speck and do the best that I can to respect and let it come to be also.

Open Eyes

[Willcat]

Originally Posted by windbound

Any way, I feel like this has permanently brainwashed my mind and skewed even my very perception of reality. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to escape these horrible things that was forced upon my brain from a very young age.

You are not alone.

I had many horrible experiences growing up in a religious family that was very church going. I would be frequently be terrorized by the messages of damnation and hell fire I heard in church as a child.

Still to this day I have atrocious intrusive memories of my religious past that get triggered by being around people that mention the word God or religion. I'm even repulsed by quasi-religious spirituality.

I hope you find some healing as I wish for myself. You can PM me if you like windbound if you like as I wont be revisiting this tread again.

[phoenix7]

for all of you that suffered - i am sorry - i wish you healing - i too am a spiritual being rather than sticking to any formal route i make my own way taking this form that one and that from another - my main views are that we all need to help and care for one another and that is why im here Psych Central is a great place for all of that.

many belssings to you all and lots of hugs if wanted or needed

P7

[sabby]

We are not sure if the OP will return anytime soon to this thread.

Since discussing religion in this forum is against guidelines, this thread is now being closed.

Please feel free to join one of the social groups for further discussion regarding religion.

Thanks!
sabby