this is something that really bothers me. i used to be a spiritual person. for a while i even went completely new age, dabbled in wicca, buddhism & other practices. though i'm not completely sure i identify with that crowd anymore, i still want to pursue something spiritual. what, i don't know. the problem is, i have been very depressed for a long period of time without respite. this depression seems to make it almost impossible for me to experience anything spiritual. for example, when i meditate, i might as well just call it sitting with my eyes closed and looking at the blackness behind my eyelids. 'cause that's what it feels like. it's like i can't get into it. i always come out of the meditation unfulfilled and feeling like i wasted time or something. it's like that part of me that used to be so connected to the spiritual has died. what happened??

[Skeezyks]

Hello ShyPoetGirl: I wish you deep peace...

[alchemy63]

It makes complete sense that you would feel dead spiritually if you feel dead in almost all other areas of your life. To me, the spirit is what feeds me, having it go dead would starve what's left. It makes me wonder, is it another area of my life that died first, and, my spirit, not prepared to over-ride that default, was overcome by it?

Anyway, I really understand how you feel because I was 'dead' for awhile in life too. Too long. But, as they said, everything is for a reason and so, this isn't about me.

Can you feel something when you look at the beauty of a garden? Does something, anything, seem beautiful to you? I was lucky I guess, in my darkest saddest lonliest times, the sky of stars, the moon, a sunrise, blades of grass looked beautiful to me. I did feel alone, but, in that lonely moment, I could feel. I could feel sad for being alone, and I did, but I was grateful too for those blades of grass in the starlight. Their spirit kept me alive. With them, I wasn't alone and it eased some of the heartache. I hope your will ease too.

[avlady]

i think sometimes my maker takes himself away from me as a sort of a test of my love. i have felt the way you feel now but the love feeling seems to come back even stronger after the period of time he seemed to be away. i have a great love for my maker, i often wonder why he does this to people, but i went through what you're going through recently and came out on the other side more of a spiritual person. i feel so much love it feel beautiful in my heart.i do hope you can overcome this and feel what i feel, anything less would be awful for you. good luck

[Thunder Bow]

Meditation is just what you experienced. You may want to try guided meditations. Also get creative when you meditate, make up imaginary stories. I even change the words in guided meditations to suit how I feel about them.

Also try meditating outdoors, and develop a connection with nature. Spirituality is more about connection rather than words, anyway.

[(JD)]

For me, my spiritual meditations are about my God... reading His Word and pondering them...and also speaking to Him and asking for His loving comfort.

Depression changes the brain chemicals remember...and the best way (imo) to change them back is to think and read, immerse oneself, in positive things. God is a positive to me.

[Aviza]

Sometimes I think God tests our faith, and belief in him by pulling away. We need to ask him to return to our life, guide us, protect us, whatever you feel you need, and then the peace will flow again. Prayer, meditation, chakra healing, even reiki healing, may also help.

[Fuzzybear]

[kipper-bang]

I too have felt as you do. Its known in some cultures and beliefs as The Dark Night of the Soul. Google those words and you will find a lot of info that will make sense of what you are going through.

My beliefs are very similar to yours and I am happy to discuss them with you. Just pm me. x

[ocdgirl911]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

this is something that really bothers me. i used to be a spiritual person. for a while i even went completely new age, dabbled in wicca, buddhism & other practices. though i'm not completely sure i identify with that crowd anymore, i still want to pursue something spiritual. what, i don't know. the problem is, i have been very depressed for a long period of time without respite. this depression seems to make it almost impossible for me to experience anything spiritual. for example, when i meditate, i might as well just call it sitting with my eyes closed and looking at the blackness behind my eyelids. 'cause that's what it feels like. it's like i can't get into it. i always come out of the meditation unfulfilled and feeling like i wasted time or something. it's like that part of me that used to be so connected to the spiritual has died. what happened??

I can completely relate to you, my issue doesn't completely come from whats going on with me mental health wise, but it attributes to it quite a bit.

[cinnamonstick]

Originally Posted by ennui.

this is something that really bothers me. i used to be a spiritual person. for a while i even went completely new age, dabbled in wicca, buddhism & other practices. though i'm not completely sure i identify with that crowd anymore, i still want to pursue something spiritual. what, i don't know. the problem is, i have been very depressed for a long period of time without respite. this depression seems to make it almost impossible for me to experience anything spiritual. for example, when i meditate, i might as well just call it sitting with my eyes closed and looking at the blackness behind my eyelids. 'cause that's what it feels like. it's like i can't get into it. i always come out of the meditation unfulfilled and feeling like i wasted time or something. it's like that part of me that used to be so connected to the spiritual has died. what happened??

Hello, I recommend not forcing it. If you are able, put your feet in some grass, touch the rough bark of a tree, look at cloud formations, crumple a crunchy leaf. Nature is a miracle, it will help you soften up and tune in a little bit. I have gone through the same experience. It is hard to even care about anything. But FORCE yourself to go out for at least 10 seconds breath in some fresh air, and bring something real back inside with you. Connecting in that way is so pure.

[sammo777]

if you're depressed, on medication, et cetera, feeling spiritually dead is pretty common.

Inward looking, or solitary practises probably won't be much use to you -- maybe try some volunteering or charity work.

Doing good, helping people in need -- what could be more spiritual than that?

And, as an added bonus, you get to spend time with people, and be nurtured through the jokes, and smiles and warmth of those others.

Just an idea...

[Teddy Bear]

If you are having problems meditating try doing something else spiritual come back to it later.

[TryingToMoveForward]

Originally Posted by kipper-bang

I too have felt as you do. Its known in some cultures and beliefs as The Dark Night of the Soul. Google those words and you will find a lot of info that will make sense of what you are going through.

My beliefs are very similar to yours and I am happy to discuss them with you. Just pm me. x

I once heard of this, a long time ago. Like the original poster, I'm going through a period of spiritual deadness. Just reading through the replies here and this made me remember what I read, back when I was in an episode of depression. Glad I saw this.

As to the original poster...I have no advice for you, but I'm in your boat beside you. You aren't alone.