Is this scrupulosity or what????-anyone else deal with this?

Hi all!

I've been struggling lately w/ lack of honesty.... I met with my Rector about a month ago and he seemed pretty familar with OCD-he said not to confuse my illness with sin.

I try VERY HARD to be honest and am aware of it EVERY SECOND of the day.....I form my words in my head before I speak so I KNOW THEY'RE TRUE.

Of course I've had some stress on myself lately-menopause and it's coming up on the 1-year anniversary of the death of my (again) boyfriend on 7/1-it was unexpected-a "catastrophic heart attack." He was 49, going to work on a Saturday morning and collapsed and was dead before he hit the ground. I didn't get to say goodbye....I MISS HIM TERRIBLY-even though we'd broken up we remained good friends and did things occasionally.

Help appreciated.

AC

You're struggling with being honest or people being honest with you? Honesty is a funny thing. It's a double edged sword. People will always lie to be "nice" and to be "civilized" and not to upset anyone nor cause conflict- there's no getting around that.
Sorry about your loss. I'm sure the first year is going to be devastating to you. I hope you pull through it okay. You'll have us here if you need the support.

Sorry for your loss - same question as pickle...

My question is are you struggling with honesty or exact wording. I try to be as honest as I can (excluding the "I'm fine." when I feel like crap comment at work and other polite lieing) I try to word things as accurately as possible but you said that you are aware of it "every second of the day" and that you form the words in your mind ahead of time to make sure that they are true. We all mispeak sometimes. I remember in college, I advertised something as starting at midnight. Then they served the pizza earlier so that the people who waited until midnight didn't get any pizza. I felt guilty as if I had lied.
So, my comment would be that if you say something that you think is true then you are not lieing. My second comment is that God will forgive you for lieing if you are trying your best not to lie. I suspect that it pains God's heart to see you struggle so much to avoid lieing even unintentionally. I hope you find a way to deal/cope with this issue.

Hi Pickle,

People being honest with me-I assume they are because I have no reason to believe they aren't. I try to think the best of people.

I can spot a lie anytime!

AC

My understanding of a lie is that it is "any communication with the intent to deceive." So if you say something that is true to the best of your knowledge, and you aren't trying to mislead anyone, that's not a lie. But if someone asks you something (or even if they don't), and you don't say anything but just let them think something that you know isn't true, because you want them to believe something that isn't true, then it would be a lie even if you don't actually say anything at all. For me, it's all about what you know to be true and whether or not you want someone else to know what's true or to believe a lie.

Honesty is important, both coming and going. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt too, and it hurts when you find out that they haven't been honest, doesn't it?

Rap