How am I suppost to know what God is telling me when I have a mental illness. I am very co dependent and I have worn myself so thin that I can't go no more. I can't say no to no one. I am afraid that I am sinning if I am not helping people when they ask.

[Peacemaker]

Hi Twirls,

Co-dependency is so very hard wich which to live. I have been there and done that. I finally learned that in trying to make others constantly happy that I was making myself for unhappy. I began to feel like I was giveing all of me away for no return and that hurt. I eventually realized that there was no way that I could make everyone happy all of the time and began to exercise the word "no". Doing so was rather freeing. I did have a whole lot of guilt at first, I have to admit. It didn't take long at all for me to become independent and felt a sort of freedom from the contsant burden I had put upon myself.

Remember that God gave us the gift of freewill. He understands that we have to look after ourselves. By saying no to someone isn't sinning at all.I think you have to ask yourself the question "Am I infringing on this person's freewill by saying no?" I believe that you aren't in any way. When we act in ways to take away other's freewill or behave in ways to cause physical harm, we then have to consider that we have sinned.

I hope you are seeing a good therapist to help you learn to become independent and that others will still love you even if you do say no. They will most likely love you more and have more respect for you. After all, you deserve it because you are human and one of God's children. God knows you are hurting and wants you to feel right with yourself.

Spend some time soul searching and maybe even consulting your minister, if you have one. I am sure that if you do, he/she will tell you that you are hurting yourself and will not commit a sin shoudl you say "no" to someone.

I hope you are able to find some peace and healing. Turn to others who have some training for some assistance.

Blessed Be,
Peacemaker

[recluse1]

((((((((twirls01)))))))) my heart goes out to you for i know what it is like to give so much of yourself to others that there is nothing left for yourself. the best advice i can give you is to talk to God and spend time with Him in prayer. He can and will give you strength and direction and make His answers clear. i also agree with Peacemaker's post. you need to learn how to protect yourself by saying no when you just aren't able to help without hurting yourself in the process.

[nowheretorun]

i was kinda thinking there's an issue of power in a co-dependant relationship... what it sounds like in your situation is that you have "de-powered" yourself...

while your intention is kind, caring... you are reversibly harming yourself... you would want more power.. to help more people...

there is power in your connections to that which empowers you... be it to God.. a pony... a rock... the trees... whatever it is which you find peace and strength in...

the stronger that connection, the more power you will have... when the batteries run low, find shelter and strength in that object, place, or thing...

you will find that you may grow in your "power"... spiraling upward with greater reserves... able to help greater numbers and lesser drain on your resources...

there are several ways to increase your power and there is a combination which is right for you... your personal "keys" to the engine... mantras, meditation, visualization are only a few...

good luck on your path...

[altonwoodsdrphil]

twirls...we're all mentally ill in some way. I believe that when I can talk with God and feel the joy of being in his presence without anything "between us" I know I'm in his purpouse for me and that he's the one in control of all my circumstances and issues and is working all things out for my benifit. It really allows me to praise him in a much deeper way which is what he really wants (I think) i for us to just trust him and know him...it may sound kind of difficult or perhaps like something that you just can't do,I used to think that way too until I realized that it's really is the only way to live successfully, he has delivered me from depression,smoking,drugs,co-dependency,poverty, and even my own self loathing and he's not done yet!...so I reccomend that you give him a try...just remember to "let go and let God"

[(JD)]

Please know that God fully understands mental unwellness! He created the mind and brain chemicals and knows what happens when things go awry in our human systems.

Don't allow yourself to feel guilty for doing good self care. Saying NO is perfectly acceptable. If you aren't sure, then say, "NO." No strings attached. You don't even have to give a reason.

Some evil people prey upon those they can spot as being insecure or otherwise mentally unsure. God wouldn't want you to help them out of guilt, for sure!

God loves you.... imperfections and all. Rest in Him and know that He understands, and doesn't require you to.

[nowheretorun]

good post doc...

[wickedwings]

great thread....