[Christina86]

Something I need to remember from time to time... God only creates good. God doesn't make mistakes, so anyone thinking they are one... you aren't, because everyone has a purpose and is loved.

Artist: Dawn Johnson Carolyn
Song: God Doesn't Make Mistakes
Album: Dress Rehearsal Carolyn Dawn Johnson

A couple inches taller
Another size smaller
A little curl in my hair
Used to wish I was older
Now I wish I was younger
Back when I didn't have a care
Most of the time I am happy with what God gave me
Once in a while I wish that some miracle would change me

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta remember
I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

Mama says I'm special
Calls me her little angel
Yeah, I could almost do no wrong
But I trip and stumble
Guess that's what keeps you humble
But I pick myself up and I carry on
I'll never be a flawless model of perfection
Nobody's perfect and I admit I'm no exception

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta remember
I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

I'm thankful for the rainy days
They only make the sunshine sweeter

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta remember
I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

[Jully]

I need to remember that from time to time, too. It think it pains God to know we see ourselves the way we do sometimes. We are part of his masterpiece. Think of how an artist would feel upon overhearing a harsh criticism of his work.

Thanks for your post, and that is a beautifully written song.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

[BalishBun]

<3

[2Hope]

Thanks Christina. Good thing for me to remember.

Hope

[newlife07]

What a beautiful poem. It's so true! I struggle with feeling as if I am not enough (esp. with my Husband) since i came down with Fibromyalgia. Thanks for the reminder that I am not "flawed" but just right because God created me.

Thanks.
Lindsay

[KathyM]

I was born a "mistake." After my sister was born, doctors told mom not to have any more children. I came along 6 years later. That is why she blamed me for her illness (familial amyloidosis). It was just a coincidence that onset of symptoms appeared at my birth.

I'm almost 50, and now permanently and totally disabled due to the same disease. It will only get worse for me. Whenever I try to do something productive, it seems to make things worse. I tried something simple like clearing off a desk, but had trouble controlling the movement of my arm - accidentally knocked over a glass of water onto an electrical outlet on the floor. Tried to carry a single plate to the kitchen sink, but lost my grip and it broke into pieces. It made my brain all flustered, and I couldn't remember how to pick up the pieces.

I can still type on the computer and communicate with others, but I get the feeling I'm too ugly - my life and my words are too depressing for others to hear. All I have left to offer is my take on life and what I've experienced. I spend most of my time bedridden in a dark room where my father died and mom continually attempted suicide.

I know now my birth was not a mistake. However, my life now is useless and worthless - even the government says so. It makes me wonder if holding onto life is a mistake for me. People don't want to hear what I have to say, and I'm sooooooo tired of watching all the fighting.

What would you suggest?

[pachyderm]

> All I have left to offer is my take on life and what I've experienced.

I find that valuable.

[Rapunzel]

Several years ago when I was a social services director at a nursing home, I read a lot about how to help the patients find meaning in life. I can't remember the author's name that I'm thinking of, but there was one who wrote powerfully, making the point that we are all here in this life to become who we are meant to be. Every section of everybody's life is a part of that journey to becoming. No matter how limited you seem to be right now, if you are still here, you are still becoming. Sometimes it may be a challenge to see how, but if there were no reason for you to still be here, you wouldn't. And you were born for a reason too. Not a mistake.

[nowheretorun]

there is a saying that serves me well.... "Everything serves to further" .. meaning, what you said Rapunzel...

[KathyM]

I "became" a long time ago. Now I'm only becoming increasingly more angry at the arrogance, lies, hypocrisy, greed, broken promises and abject poverty I continue to see grow throughout the world. I only see people forming into groups in order to attack or protect themselves from other groups. The only response I get is either it will never change or I should just forget about it all. Apparently I'm not supposed to care about people, especially if they are brown or "uncivilized." I don't pray for myself - I'm ready to die. I pray for THEM.

I'm having more and more problems following rules. I don't have any money, professional credentials, or physical abilities that would make me worthwhile to any of these groups - or society. I refuse to be anyone's puppet or mascot (poster child).

I'm not the beloved grandmother sitting in a nursing home. I'm more like one of those patients in the New Orleans nursing home who was too heavy to lift to avoid drowning. I'm too much of a burden on society, and I'm becoming more angry and more burdensome. It won't be long before people start calling me an animal, a savage, an insurgent, a terrorist, or just plain old crazy because they don't know how to "fix" me. It won't be long before people insist I be put down because I've become too ugly and uncivilized. It won't be long before researchers beg my husband for my body, so they can pick me apart and concur they know everything about me, my life, and this wretched disease. It won't be long before they pat each other on the backs at the experiments conducted and articles they published after tearing me apart.

I don't want to go out like my mother did - in leather restraints surrounded by strangers (nurses) yelling at her to obey their orders (stay in bed). She deserved better than that - she tried very hard to live her life according to the rules people placed on her.

I hope I didn't make a mistake by posting in your thread. Sorry for the mess - hope I don't disappear.

[SeptemberMorn]

Kathy, I'm sorry you're suffering so.

For what it's worth, it wasn't God that made a mistake. It's just the human condition. God can help you through this terrible experience, though.

Do you think you could come up with, let's say, a "thankful list"? What IS good in your life? Try to focus more on that than all the suffering you're going through. It's not easy, but I'm willing to bet that you can come up with something and slowly build on that list.

[KathyM]

Thank you SM, but it's not about me. My sadness isn't due to my lot in life. Hatred and fear doesn't have to be a human condition. I can't find anything to be thankful for in this area because I'm only seeing a repeat of what I lived through in Chicago back in the 60s. Sure, laws are in place, but the hatred and fear hasn't changed - neither has all the hypocrisy, lies, arrogance and greed in mankind. Mankind, lol - funny word.

I refuse to drink alcohol, take pills, or inject drugs in order to make me forget about life. It's too precious, and I don't want to go out with a broken spirit. I also don't want to spend the rest of my life hiding in my closet and surrounded by the hatred and fear of others.

[SeptemberMorn]

Understood about all the ugliness in the world. It's only getting worse. I understand that.

Kudos to you that you don't abuse drugs! It takes a very strong person to face what they have to face in this life like you are doing.

All I can offer you at this point is prayer, if you don't mind.

[KathyM]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
Understood about all the ugliness in the world. It's only getting worse. I understand that.

All I can offer you at this point is prayer, if you don't mind.



</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, thank you, I would LOVE that.

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
KathyM: it's not about me. My sadness isn't due to my lot in life. Hatred and fear doesn't have to be a human condition. I can't find anything to be thankful for in this area because I'm only seeing a repeat of what I lived through in Chicago back in the 60s. Sure, laws are in place, but the hatred and fear hasn't changed - neither has all the hypocrisy, lies, arrogance and greed in [hu]mankind.

Well, KathyM -- this sounds like something you feel passionate about and passion is a very good reason for getting up in the morning. Maybe all you need to do is to find a way to change the world in your own way. You seem to be a fighter and the fight hasn't gone out of you yet. That kind of energy and passion can be used to effect positive change... somewhere.

[Lenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
KathyM said:
It's too precious,

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I too feel kindred to this feeling Kathy,,though I can also share your sorrow. Consciousness is a gift,,one of a kind to each of us. We view the universe alone but with billions of other eyes looking too...

In another post I commented on my love of history and some of the lessens that can be learned when we look back upon our tracks...I stated how little we had moved from the rock,,,that rock being the weight of fear.

But I used the word "little" because we have moved.....some. There have been periods in our history when the world was a far different place,,,when only a tiny few had access to any information.

I stand awe struck today with the reality before me..that billions of souls have access to nearly all information which in some sense of reality is that same amount of potential solutions to any problem..

We are I believe at a "tipping point"...a place where we "can" move that one more step into a "crisp" thought,,a spiritual crossroads where the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (Spock),,but the needs of the one are the blueprint to our design for living..

But it is the waiting again,,that terrible waiting,,like a carload of bouncing kids watching mile after mile for that first view of the tall ferris wheel...

You are a good spirit....

IMHO

Lenny

[artistikgrl]

That is so true. No matter who you are or what you belive right now, God is all powerfull and all knowing. It's a blessing to be able to grow as a person, even though it hurts. God, please show mw i'm not a mistake! I'm new here, hi everyone:-)

[curley]

Thank you so much for that reminder. I seem to need to be reminded quite a bit lately!

[recluse1]

(((((((Christina)))))))) This post is just as touching today as it was the first time I read it! Thought I would bring it back up in hopes that it might be read by someone that hasn't seen it, that they too, would be encouraged.