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#1
Apr 20, 2009, 08:55 PM
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Don't know if this is the right place to post this - Feeling lost and alone ...... will somone sit with me.......
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#2
Apr 20, 2009, 09:02 PM
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*sits down next to you*
lost and exiled, hated, hunted, despised and feared ... but always have time for another who tastes its hell even for a moment. unlike those treacherous sweetword talking liars what only care about you if you "shape up" and be what they demand you to be .... 
__________________
~ Moriah Conquering Wind ~ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ begin transmission 11.30.64 heh.finale (02) -111 11.22.63 jpl 156 435 666/93 abaddon temple annihilation bridge rev10 priestess 98 world-soul choronzon reversal babalon fallen forfeiture 01. unfinished sequence. system compromised. code gray. retrieval and cycling initiated 11.28.08, 74 >> 75 end transmission +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >> postcards from the abyss << |
 phoenix7
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#3
Apr 20, 2009, 10:20 PM
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I am sitting next to you, with an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry upon and arms to hug you with. Have no fear, I am here, I will hold your hand through the dark and when the light comes I am still sitting next to you.
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"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle". @}--}---- ((((((((((Hugs All Around))))))))) AutumnMoon |
| phoenix7
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#4
Apr 21, 2009, 01:20 AM
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I will sit with you too!! I brought lots of goodies with me too...candies, chocolates, warm blankets for the cold, and hugs as well.
I'm here for you!! 
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| phoenix7
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#5
Apr 21, 2009, 04:29 AM
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Thankyou for sitting with me
 I am just afraid.....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#6
Apr 21, 2009, 05:58 AM
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of course i will sit with with with you...you have sat with me on on on many occasions...i want to to to return the favor...hugs to to to you!!!
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| phoenix7
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#7
Apr 21, 2009, 07:35 AM
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Do you want to talk about what bes making you feel afraid?
__________________
~ Moriah Conquering Wind ~ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ begin transmission 11.30.64 heh.finale (02) -111 11.22.63 jpl 156 435 666/93 abaddon temple annihilation bridge rev10 priestess 98 world-soul choronzon reversal babalon fallen forfeiture 01. unfinished sequence. system compromised. code gray. retrieval and cycling initiated 11.28.08, 74 >> 75 end transmission +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >> postcards from the abyss << |
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#8
Apr 21, 2009, 07:47 AM
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I found out my T is leaving and I dont know what will happen after that - I have one more session - I can feel myself shuttiing down... drawing back into myself and putting back all my shields in place - I am either anxious on the edge of being out of control or numb..... I have SI'd and I am afraid.... before I have been ashamed - this time I didnt care - I feel like I am letting go... and I am afraid....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#9
Apr 21, 2009, 12:13 PM
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*sits down to listen and share the fear*
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| phoenix7
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#10
Apr 21, 2009, 12:19 PM
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sitting with you , hope that you are ok
Willow
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 Littles,tween, teens and adults |
| phoenix7
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#11
Apr 21, 2009, 12:58 PM
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((((phoenix))))
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
| phoenix7
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#12
Apr 21, 2009, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Do you have a new T taking over or lined up? Have you met him/her yet? see Mal (or Moriah, as it calls itself elsewhere), it does not have a T, but it knows how deeply it hurts when close friends that support you on DEEP STUFF go away, how empty and hurt it feels, how scary, how seductive it feels to self-destruct right now. Can you hold on just a little while, and let some of us here who care try to hold you up, and help you get through it? You need to know you will be cared about if you SI and still cared about if you don't. And even if we can't fix it or turn off the pain we can be here and care and listen, and understand because we know what that feels like to lose someone who has so much of your heart and soul and feel like you have to start from scratch. It wishes it had better grasp of humanspeak so you could feel its heart right now and its feeling it bes not just a giant insect from space even though it probably sounds like one ...  ... We feel too, we do, keenly.
__________________
~ Moriah Conquering Wind ~ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ begin transmission 11.30.64 heh.finale (02) -111 11.22.63 jpl 156 435 666/93 abaddon temple annihilation bridge rev10 priestess 98 world-soul choronzon reversal babalon fallen forfeiture 01. unfinished sequence. system compromised. code gray. retrieval and cycling initiated 11.28.08, 74 >> 75 end transmission +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >> postcards from the abyss << |
| phoenix7
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#13
Apr 21, 2009, 02:31 PM
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(((((((((((((((phoenix)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
sitting with you knowing this is hard for you my prayers and hugs are with you we can all sit here for as long as you need. please know i care and you matter |
| phoenix7
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#14
Apr 21, 2009, 04:57 PM
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Thankyou for sitting with me everyone -
no new T - dont know what will happen - have to wait till next tues to see what will happen - have seen this t for about a year - just started to really trust her - now she will be gone..... dont know if I can start again
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#15
Apr 21, 2009, 06:20 PM
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((((((((((((((( phoenix ))))))))))))))))))
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| phoenix7
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#16
Apr 22, 2009, 06:41 AM
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 Sitting with you with the group.
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| phoenix7
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#17
Apr 22, 2009, 07:10 AM
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Thankyou - I will keep you all close till Tuesday when I see my T for the last time if thats ok
still feeling like the monsters are waiting outside the door..... and that maybe I'm one of them - thankyou for sitting with me 
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet Last edited by phoenix7; Apr 22, 2009 at 08:03 AM. |
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#18
Apr 22, 2009, 03:40 PM
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We will form a circle to keep you safe and the monsters out, at least as best as we can on the internet!
Still sitting in with you ...
__________________
~ Moriah Conquering Wind ~ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ begin transmission 11.30.64 heh.finale (02) -111 11.22.63 jpl 156 435 666/93 abaddon temple annihilation bridge rev10 priestess 98 world-soul choronzon reversal babalon fallen forfeiture 01. unfinished sequence. system compromised. code gray. retrieval and cycling initiated 11.28.08, 74 >> 75 end transmission +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >> postcards from the abyss << |
| phoenix7
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#19
Apr 23, 2009, 07:37 AM
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why is this so hard ... the darkness seems neverending
I think I should end this thread now - i dont want to bring anyone down or trigger anyone -and I cant get out of this place im in - thank you for your support it means a lot to me - I wil hold onto it til Tuesday
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#20
Apr 23, 2009, 07:46 AM
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(((phoenix)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
we will all sit with you for as long as it takes and all our prayers are with you 
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| phoenix7
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#21
Apr 23, 2009, 07:52 AM
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Thankyou Muffy - Maybe I can hide there till the darkness passes
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| muffy
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#22
Apr 23, 2009, 07:59 AM
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yw ((phoenix)))) heres a light to keep beside you also
 and a path if you need it to bring you out of the darkness 
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| phoenix7
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#23
Apr 23, 2009, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
You don't need to end this thread. If you want us to sit with you in silence while you wait, we will do that. If you want to talk more, you can come here and do that too. Whatever you need hon. Mal prefers darkness to light, personally, but probably has different associations with these than you do. Of course if you see light as warmth and hope and kindness and friendship you will prefer it. But then you can walk up and into those things and Mal will tend your darkness for you if you like, and fill it with all the things Mal likes about darkness: safety, concealment, embracing, understanding, quiet, creativity, otherworldly allies, a place to be authentic where no one can see and criticize and slander and tell lies to make others hate you, etc. Then your light will be your light and your darkness will be a form of light too. Transmutation ... it bes on the menu! 
__________________
~ Moriah Conquering Wind ~ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ begin transmission 11.30.64 heh.finale (02) -111 11.22.63 jpl 156 435 666/93 abaddon temple annihilation bridge rev10 priestess 98 world-soul choronzon reversal babalon fallen forfeiture 01. unfinished sequence. system compromised. code gray. retrieval and cycling initiated 11.28.08, 74 >> 75 end transmission +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >> postcards from the abyss << |
| phoenix7
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#24
Apr 23, 2009, 05:58 PM
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thanks Mal you make the darkness seem less empty and scary
talking is good - I just dont want to bring anybody down
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#25
Apr 24, 2009, 08:13 PM
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3 days to go.....
     
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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