My Voices

I am schizoaffective. The way my Psych Doc explained it was that it is like schizophrenia with a mood disorder thrown in. I was diagnosed Bipolar first many years ago. I was given this new diagnosis last March. The main symptoms that I have are hallucinations. Audio and visual. More audio than visual though. My voices never shut up. I can drown them out with an MP3 player, but can't go around with earphones in everywhere. The Risperdal he has me on(9mg a day) has helped control the visual hallucinations. My voices tell me to cut my self and I have on occassion. They tell me I am worthless, unloved, fat, ugly, not needed and that my family would be better off with out me. Has anyone else had this problem? If so how do you get past the aggravation of hearing someone all the time?

I don't really have a lot of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that someone read your post.

My voices aren't really mean so they don't bug me a whole lot. They're pretty trivial. But from what I've read in a lot of places, talking back to your voices (in your head obviously! unless you're alone) is a good way of dealing with them. If they tell you you are worthless, ask them why they think that or to kindly keep their opinions to themselves. Voices seem to play off of esteem. Either the message you formed about yourself or the messages that other people gave you about yourself... A key to making them less incessant is to help work at the core of your insecurities.

Hopefully that made sense or was helpful in some way!

ur doctor was wrong if he is going by the current DSM.

schizoafective is NOT just seen as schizophrenia with a mood disorder "THROWN IN"

if u read the DSM carefully u will find out that schizoaffective is basically liket his:

you either experience depression or mania (usually depression) without psychotic features, but after the episode of the mood disorder, you get psychotic

I am schizoaffective with depression. I have stayed in depressed state months at a time. Yes, afterwards I do have psychotic times. He explained it the way he did because there are a lot of symptoms characteristic to schizophrenia(paranoia, hallucinations, amd others) with the mood disorder(bipolar) mania, depression, anxiety and others are associated with. Don't think he was wrong, just believe he explained where I would understand, as I was diagnosed manic depressive back in the early 90's. I have been hearing voices everyday since 1983.

oh okay, yes
i re-read my post and realized it sounded judgemental.

my apologies.
i too hallucinate and am paranoid. currently. it started at 16, off and on now for 9 years.

ive been actively psychotic for over a month now.

It is okay. I have periods of paranoia, probably more than I realize. After reading your first post, I had to go check my notes to make sure I had it right. I have been going through this for almost 30 years and seems to be getting worse. The voices and depression seem to anyway. Music helps to drown out the voices, but I can't keep ear phones in all the time, I would miss conversation.

agree!

Hi, I also am schizoaffective. I had to deal with my auditory communications for years before I found a medication that stopped them. I used to always think someone was knocking on the door or a phone ringing. When it comes to voices I hear mainly one, her name is Alex. She was relentless and is part of the reason I have tried to commit suicide 4 times. She was constantly telling me I would never get better, things would only get worse, and I should end it now. Then I found Abilify after three years of tring different combinations if medications. Low and behold after about two months she stopped and as long as I take my medicine, she stays gone. I still hear the occasional knock on the door or sometimes it sounds like someone is calling my name but for the most part its good. I have come to accept that I will probably have to take medication forever but its worth it to be voice free. I hope you like it here and feel free to ask me anything about it. I would be happy to talk with you.

I dislike my voices too. They tell me to kill myself and stuff like that. Good luck!

I'm glad you have been so much better lately, LostMom3.

Thanks for sharing how you found hearing noise (music) gave you some relief from the horrible voices in your head. Apart from auditory hallucinations, the thing that has been most debilitating for me over the last 3 years is almost the opposite problem: noises like voices and music coming at me from all directions are too much for me to process, and I need to escape to a quiet place in order to cope. Very socially disruptive. Overstimulation very quickly sends me over the edge into a mixed episode.

Very helpful, Shay.
That has worked for me on several occasions.
If I recall correctly, the one time it didn't was during periods of rebound psychosis: while changing drugs or coming off antipsychotics. I think my brain was too fried to go quiet for any logical argument.

Hey there, Lost Mom. I can empathize with you tremendously. I have not been diagnosed as schizoaffective, however, I do suffer from Bipolar I with psychotic features (i.e. visual and audio hallucinations). I am about equal as to which one I deal with on a daily basis. Both drive me nuts. Of course, some days are worse than others. The voices tell me that I am evil, that i am bad, that I am a failure. They tell me to hurt myself because i deserve it. And I believe them. So, what do I do? I cut. I hit concrete walls and heavy wood doors. I make myself hurt in hopes of getting rid of the voices or at least quieting them down. It doesn't work, but I do hope. I just started Risperdal so I don't know if it's working yet. I know I haven't offered you any advise, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Since I have fotten back on my meds regularly I am only hearing the voices sometimes. The visual hallucinations only happen when I have insomnia or get really upset. The voices though, they need no reason to harrass me. There are several different voices, but the loudest and most insistent is a mans voice. He is really cruel when putting me down. I have been arguing with him and sometimes he will just shut up for a while.

Well, on the bright side, you're experiencing SOME improvement! Keep it up.

I've had a voice for almost 15 years now, since I turned 28. When it started it was just a voice and could do very little other then speak. It uses very few words "mostly curse words" in an attempt to keep my attention. But it learns from me and uses these things against me. Now it mostly pushes emotions onto me to get me agitated. And once I become agitated it begins shaking me, the more agitated the more severe the shaking. It's enough to knock me off balance at times.

The best thing I've found is keeping busy and out of my own mind. Or a minor mantra and controlling my emotions when I can not be active, which it always tries to change. If I have time a 10 minute Om chant "meditation" seems to weaken the voices.

Mantra "still working on it"
It, lies and deceives
It will hurt everything I care about if I allow it.
It offers nothing but lies and deception.
There is nothing to gain from listening, as it offers no facts.

It doesn't block it out entirely, but I find I listen to it less often and it's words carry less weight. Another thing that helps is to forgive it for what it's doing. Apologize for anything you may have done to antagonize it and try to share a warm feeling of love. Again it's only temporary, but it is a very relaxing feeling. I know it's difficult to forgive something that wants to harm you, but try it and see what happens. It may help, if not you will at least gain better control over your emotions by practicing.

I wanted to clarify on the sharing a positive feeling like "love" with the voice. It sounds really new age type stuff and that may turn people off, I know it would me.

Think of your emotions like a scale, if something is adding negative thoughts and emotions. The scale will tip to the negative side and you start feeling bad. The way to counter is not to add more negativity, but to add positive emotions. It's same principle if you were beating yourself up, you counter them with positive thought. And love is one of the strongest and easiest for most too conjure and hold. I imagine my love for my family and share that. I used humor for most my time and it does work. But I always felt I had an intellectual advantage over the voice in my head, so it's actions were often quite amusing to me.

And the beauty of it is, even if it wasn't you doing it and some negative force, It would work the same way.

I have noticed the more positive that I am the less "they
" talk. The main voice is the only one that still talks to me when I am feeling more upbeat. Not much shuts him up. But I can ignore him when I feel good.

Very similar to my own, as you mentioned being positive and confident helps tremendously. On the bright side I've read nearly every truly gifted mind has had some type of voice in their head. So we are in good company.

Difference with mine is I have one voice that mimics other voices and environmental sounds. He is mostly outside of my head, but at times can talk within so too speak, he can even make it echo through my head when he is strong. He doesn't say much and he is always there, like yours, however mine does seem to rest at night to some extent. Once I get to the point he is not as strong I start doing audio exercises. Focusing on a constant sound from my environment and trying to add in other sounds to make it more habitual for me to fall back into the sounds of my environment instead the voice in my head.